Sunday, September 04, 2016

Some Sorta Terrible

This season was supposed to be a glimpse into the future of the Phillies. Well, I've gotten an eyeful and the future is bleak.  Regression, underperforming, stagnation, dismal.
Maikel Franco has 22 homeruns. Big f'n deal. Everyone is hitting homeruns this year. Steve Jeltz came out of retirement yesterday and went deep twice. His .732 OPS ranks 123rd out of 153 qualified batters and 23rd out of 24 qualified third basemen. That's shitty from the guy who was supposed to be THE GUY in the middle of the lineup.

Odubel Herrera has fallen apart, both defensively and offensively.

Aaron Altherr is proving all his doubters to be spot-on prognosticators.

Cody Asche...hahaha.

Darin Ruf...hardy-har-har.

Tyler Goeddel hits like he hasn't even hit puberty yet.

Freddy Galvis apparently goes into anaphylactic shock if he takes a walk.

Ryan Howard, well, he's Ryan Howard, enough said.

Aaron Nola took two steps forward early in the season to be bounced backward by the world's hardest hitting bumper car.

Zach Eflin showed up and put up numbers like he never should have.

Jake Thompson also showed up and has also put up numbers like he never should have.

Adam Morgan added 2 mph to his fast ball and 2 runs to his ERA.

The bullpen has been a rotating door of crap, poop, shit, and other fecal matter.

Taylor Featherston, Emmanuel Burriss, and Cedric Hunter are a combined 11-102. Pluck any Single-A player from whatever Podunk town and they would fair better.

Top prospects JP Crawford and Nick Williams puttered about in Triple-A for the majority of the season. Not sure why they weren't promoted, they'd have fit in perfectly with all the other underperforming players on the Phillies.

Cesar Hernandez, Cameron Rupp, Tommy Joseph, Jerad Eickhoff, Jeremy Hellickson, Hector Neris, Vincent Velasquez, and Jeanmar Gomez were the only positives, but none of them lit the world on fire.

The Phillies have the worst offense in MLB and have been outscored by the next lowest team (Braves) by 23 runs. They have the 2nd lowest batting average, lowest on base percentage, second lowest slugging percentage, and lowest OPS. Great job fellas! Their pitching hasn't been much better either, ranking 25th in ERA. So, despite their record, I am officially giving the Phillies the deSTINKtion as the worst team in baseball.

It's difficult to blog about, sorry.

15 comments:

jhilton32 said...

Hey their Pythagorean WL is 52-83, so give them credit for being an 8-win overachiever?

Bob D said...

winning days are approaching, a couple of years ago the A ball teams had winning records, then last year the AA team winning, then this year AAA - along with all the teams are winning in minors. Those winning records are getting closer to the majors. Now there are a few lower level prospects that have really high upside, so the best of the best are still a few years away.

GM-Carson said...

About to get sept by Braves. Offense shut down completely, and bullpen sucks immediately after given the ball. Fuck this.

Bob D said...

Phillies offense is like the groundhog from Punxsutawney saw its shadow and we get six more weeks of winter aka no offense

ripjgarcia said...

I watched the Klentak interview today.. not one word about the offensive struggles that I heard.

GM-Carson said...

Getting shutout by some no-name pitcher...yet again. Terrible offense. Terrible. Most AAA offenses would do better, I honestly believe that.

GM-Carson said...

Wondering why Howard will actually get benched and Joseph will play regularly.

GM-Carson said...

Dylan Cozens/OF - 134 G, 106 R, 38 DBL, 3 TRPL, 40 HR, 125 RBI, 21 SB, .276/.941

Rhys Hoskins/1B - 135 G, 95 R, 26 DBL, 1 TRPL, 38 HR, 116 RBI, 8 SB, .281/.943

Combined 201 R, 78 HR, 241 RBI, 146 XBH.

Dayum!!!!

Bob D said...

Can we hire the groundskeepers from the movie Major Leagues to be the new cover of this post? They're still Sh*t*y

GM-Carson said...

Shoulda traded Hellickson for something. He's not finishing strong and they only way it made sense for the Phils not to trade him is that they plan on offering him a qualifying offer, which at this point, I could see him taking.

ripjgarcia said...

well.. our payroll next year will pretty damn low.. so taking on Hellickson for a Q.O. isn't the end of the world.

GM-Carson said...

Rookie, Ryan Schmipf, of the San Diego Padres is having one of the most interesting starts to a career in recent memory. Of his 50 hits, 38 have gone for extra bases (15 DBL, 5 TRPL, 18 HR) and he has 40 R and 44 RBI. It's amazing.

ripjgarcia said...

Frank Hermann..

ripjgarcia said...

Patrick Shuster..

GM-Carson said...

Terrible relievers. Need to sign a couple decent ones this offseason.