Saturday, June 29, 2013

Your Eyes Do Not Deceive You

Last night was not a figment of your imagination...

Yes, Delmon Young knocked in 6 runs on 3 hits.

Yes, John Lannan won his 1st game in a Phillies uniform and collected 3 hits (last Phils pitcher to do so was the famed JD Durbin back in 2007).

Yes, the Phillies scored in double digits for the 1st time this season.

Yes, the Phillies had 20 or more hits for the 1st time this season.

Yes, Skip Schumaker was the only Dodgers "pitcher" to not allow a run last night (he's normally a 2B/OF).

Yes, John McDonald, who was 2-38 with the Pirates and Indians before being traded to Philadelphia, got a hit in his 1st at bat in the Phillies uniform.  He's officially a Phucco!

Yes, Ben Revere is batting .280 and has been doing well since the beginning on May (.322 AVG with 15 SB).

Yes, the Phillies bullpen managed to not blow leads of 14 and 15 runs.  I know that's probably the most unbelievable thing in this post.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

The Howard Continues to Win Ball Games, Trade and Signing, Brain Tumors, Minor League Standout, and Dodgers Series Preview

The Howard- anytime a player hits a homerun, commits an error, and strikes out, all within the same game.

Ryan Howard had the only Phillies Howard of the season, until last night's hero, Delmon Young came through.  Naturally the Phils won the game.  Since the stat's creation before the 2009 season, the Phillies the Phillies have committed 21 Howards, and are 18-3 in those games (.857 winning percentage).

Trade & Signing:
Amaro traded for the ultimate no-hit, all-glove utility infielder in the form of the ancient John McDonald. The 38 year old has played for both the Pirates and the Indians this season, so he become a beloved Phuccos as soon as he appears in a game for the Phillies.  He's batting .053 this season (2-38) and is a career .236/.601 hitter over his 15 year career.  He's being given a spot on the 25-man roster too, which is confusing since this team needs offense and McDonal doesn't supply any.  This is further proof that Amaro is a clueless sock puppet that is determined to ruin the Phillies.  My guess is that Freddy Galvis is sent down, so that he can get regular at bats.  The almighty PTBNL (Player To Be Named Later) or cash considerations were sent to Cleveland in exchange for McDonald's services.

Amaro also signed Mike MacDougal for the bullpen in Lehigh Valley. The 36 year old right-hander last pitched in the Majors for the Dodgers last season.  He has a career 4.00 ERA, 1.55 WHIP, and 71 saves over 12 year career.  He was with the Reds Triple-A team earlier this year, but was released due to hideous pitching (5.49 ERA/1.63 WHIP).  Guess he'll be the new closer once Papelbon is traded.

Brain Tumors:
Daren Daulton is having surgery to remove brain tumors.  The Mayans and Dutch were wrong about the world ending in 2012.  The Mayans can blame it on predicting the future thousands of years ago and having their calculations slightly off.  While Dutch can blame in on the cancer that was effing with his brain.  In all seriousness, I hope the doctors kick those brain tumors asses and he has a healthy recovery.

Minor League Standout:
Maikel Franco is a 20 year old 3rd base prospect that who was recently bumped up to Double-A.  In Reading he has hit .483/1.397 over 7 games, with 3 homeruns and 7 RBI.  Before the move to the Fightins, he killed it in Clearwater, batting .299/.925 over 65 games, with 16 homeruns and 52 RBI.  He, along with Jesse Biddle, will be representing the Phillies at the Futures Game over the MLB All-Star break in mid-July.

Philadelphia Phillies (38-41) @ Los Angeles Dodgers (35-42)

Pitching Match-Ups:
Thursday, 10:10 - Petite Bone vs. Zach Greinke
Friday, 10:10 - John "Winless" Lannan vs. Chris Capuano
Saturday, 10:10 - Cliff Lee vs. Hyun-Jin Ryu
Sunday, 4:10 - KK vs. Fife Dog from a Tribe Called Quest

LaLa Bats:
R - 277 (tied for 27th)
AVG - .256 (13th)
OPS - .700 (22nd)

Prepare yourself for a Chris Wheeler drool-fest over Yasiel Puig/RF, who has been nothing short of amazing since his call-up at the beginning of the month.  He's hitting .435/1.196 over 22 games.  The oft-injured malcontent Hanely Ramirez/SS is back in the lineup and nearly matching Puig's ridiculous output, batting .375/1.102 in 22 games as well.  Adrian Gonzalez/1B can still hit (.299/.825), but the rest of the offense has been blah, and a big reason for the Dodgers being in last place in the NL West.

LaLa Arms:
ERA - 3.72 (7th)
WHIP - 1.31 (17th)

Greinke is not pitching up to the humongous contract he signed this offseason (3.79/1.30), but Ryu is (2.85/1.22).  Capuano (4.09/1.30) and Fife (3.41/1.31) are definitely good enough to shut the Phils down for 7 innings, so expect that to happen.  In fact, this will be a difficult series for the Phils bats, because the Dodgers pitching staff is quality, aside from Mattingly's insistence on using Brandon League (5.72/1.55) in high-leverage situations.

What I'm Drinking:
Appalachian Brewing Company's Hoppy Trails, which is a no-frills, straightforward India Pale Ale.  I love IPAs and this one delivers on everything I enjoy about the style- big hop presence in both the aroma and flavor, slightly-sticky mouth feel, and a nice bitter finish that pairs well with so many foods.  The ABV of this brew is 6.2%, so unlike a lot of IPAs out there, you can drink more of Hoppy Trails without fear of blacking out.  It's not a pallet crusher either, another complaint I've heard from craft beer drinkers about the IPA style.

Their description- This classic English Style IPA is quickly becoming a local favorite. Brewed with a blend of Millennium, Amarillo, and Centennial hops, this beer truly satisfies the “Hop Head” in many of us. With floral aromas, a rich malt bill, and golden copper hues, our IPA will take you down a trail of pure hoppiness.

You can likely get ABC's beers at your local drinking hole, distributor, or straight from the source at one of their 5 brewpub locations (Harrisburg, Gettysburg, Camp Hill, Collegeville, and Lititz).

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Papelbon's Excuse- "Sh*t Happens"

*Mike Adams is likely done for the year with 3 tears in his right shoulder.  His 2 YR/$12M contract looks like a sunk cost now.  What does Amaro do right anymore?

*Amaro doesn't know if the Phils with call up Zambrano or not because "he's been inconsistent".  Well, Lannan has been consistent...consistently bad.  Yet he's allowed to continue floundering in the rotation while Big Z isn't even given a chance.  Hmm...

*In more good news, the Phillies are going to be patient with Delmon Young because he's what they refer to as a slow starter.  It's glaringly obvious they have no clue what the hell they speak of, because they are as stupid as wearing socks with sandals.  Yeah, that stupid.

Papelbon is Good at Blowing Saves

The quote is fictitious of course, just like the Phillies chances at having a winning season.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Series Preview- Padres (As If It Matters)

Philadelphia Phillies (36-40) @ San Diego Padres (38-38)

Pitching Match-Ups:
Monday - Cliff Lee vs. Eric Stults
Tuesday - KK vs. Jason Marquis
Wednesday - Ol' Girl Parts vs. Undecided
10:10 start time for all games

Friars Bats:
R - 315 (16th)
AVG - .248 (19th)
OPS - .703 (20th)

Their top two offensive threats have been DL'd, Everth Cabrera/SS (.300/.800, 31 SB) and Jedd Gyorko/2B (.284/.802).  Doesn't matter though, big boy Kyle Blanks/LF is now thumping the ball with regular playing time (.845 OPS) and Logan Forsythe (.319/.833) has filled in nicely at 2nd base.  Also, Carlos Quentin/LF can still clobber a ball (.846 OPS).

Friars Arms:
ERA - 4.10 (22nd)
WHIP - 1.33 (21st)

Stults (3.25/1.09) and Marquis (3.59/1.38) have helped steady the rotation this season.  The bullpen is stocked with plenty of options that have shut down the opposition so far this season.  Nick Vincent, Tom Layne, Joe Thatcher, Luke Gregorson, and Tyson Ross all have an ERA of 2.54 or better.

Phillies get swept because they are a lousy team.  Root for them all you want, but they will still lose.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Series Preview- Mets

New York Mets (28-41) @ Philadelphia Phillies (35-38)

Pitching Match-Ups:
Friday, 7:05 - Jeremy Hefner vs. Ms. Sassy Pants
Saturday, 4:05 - Dillon Gee vs. Petite Bone
Sunday, 1:35 - Matt Harvey vs. John Lannan

Mets Bats:
R - 266 (25th)
AVG - .227 (30th)
OPS - .664 (29th)

The Mets are a horrible team mostly due to their offense.  David Wright/3B (.304/.903) is the only true threat in the lineup.  Marlon Byrd/RF is having a bit of a resurgence (.263/.817) at 35 years old. Both John Buck/C (12 HR) and Lucas Duda/LF (11 HR) have power, but that's all they really offer.  Recently, they've been trotting out Juan Lagares to centerfield and Omar Quintanilla to shortstop, both of which are poor hitters.  Ike Davis/1B sucked so bad, they finally sent him to AAA.

Mets Arms:
ERA - 4.07 (18th)
WHIP - 1.34 (25th)

Let's be honest, any given pitcher, any given game can shut the Phillies offense down.  At this point, I think a pitching machine throwing straight 70 MPH fastballs would no-hit the Phils.  What I'm saying is that they have no chance at beating Harvey on Sunday (2.16 ERA, 0.90 WHIP, 115 K in 104 IP) and will find it difficult to win against Hefner (3.96/1.27) tonight or Gee (4.56/1.44) on Saturday.  Their bullpen is weak though, but I doubt it matters.

With Hamels being unlucky, Pettibone starting to get hit, and Lannan having never won a game for the Phillies, I foresee a Mets sweep.  The Phillies suck!  Yep, I said it Sir Alden.  They suck!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

2nd Place!!!

*The Phillies are actually closer to the NL East leader than the 2nd Wild Card.

*The NL East is the worst division in baseball.

*Kevin Frandsen should have been starting at 2nd base all along, not Freddy Galvis.  I wonder if he could play right field once Utley returns.  

*Ryan Howard has his batting average up to .276 and a climbing .796 OPS as well.

*It's not fair that Cole Hamels lead MLB in losses with 10, because he gets next to no run support.  However, he should be ashamed of his 4.40 ERA.

*Tonight is a big game for the Phils.  Nationals are primed for the sweep.  KK needs to kkill them.

*A strong indicator of just how bad the offense and bullpen have been, is that the Phillies lead MLB in quality starts with 48 (6+ IP with 3 ER or less allowed), but still have a losing record. 

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Just Because...

Found this little piece of pop art featuring the Big Piece (see what I did there) and felt the need to post it.  Currently the Phillies are being shutout by the Nationals.  Whatever.  Ryan Howard everyone...
Meanwhile, Chooch is back in the lineup and Steve Lerud is back in AAA (where he belongs permanently). Also, Jeremy Horst was sent to the DL yesterday when John Lannan was activated.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Series Preview- Nationals

Washington Nationals (34-34) @ Philadelphia Phillies (33-37)

Pitching Match-Ups:
Monday - Dan Haren vs. John Lannan
Tuesday - Ross Detwiler vs. Cliff Lee
Wednesday - Gio Gonzalez vs. KK
7:05 start time for all games

Gnats Bats:
R - 237 (29th)
AVG - .233 (28th)
OPS - .666 (27th)

The Nationals surprised a lot of people last year when they won the NL East, and because of that were a favorite to repeat in 2013.  However, things haven't gone as planned.  Washington's offense has been terrible (blame it on Obama, easy scapegoat).  Bryce Harper/LF is hurt (get used to it, I see a lot of Chase Utley in him).  Jayson Werth/RF is fresh off the DL and so is Ryan Zimmerman/3B.  Although, neither of them are hitting like past track record would suggest.  The only two really doing well are Ian Desmond/SS (.287/.808) and new second baseman Anthony Rendon (.361/.951 in 17 games).  The catching situation is also a mess, nearly as bad as the Phillies.

Gnats Arms:
ERA - 3.59 (7th)
WHIP - 1.23 (7th)

Good news- the Phils miss their top 2 starting pitchers this series (Strasburg and Zimmermann).  Bad news- Gonzalez and Detwiler is still really good, with Haren being the only beacon of hope for run scoring.  The bullpen has the 3-headed monster for the 7th, 8th, and 9th innings (Storen, Clippard, and Soriano).  New addittions (Ian Krol and Fernando Abad) have combined for 15.1 IP, 18 K, and a matching 0.59 ERA and WHIP.  Hell, even their long reliever is good (Craig Stammen- 2.95/1.23).

A low scoring series, with the Phils taking 1 outta 3 (only win comes against Haren).

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Friday, June 14, 2013

Series Preview- Rockies

Philadelphia Phillies (32-35) @ Colorado Rockies (35-32)

Pitching Match-Ups:
Friday, 8:40 - KK vs. Juan Nicasio
Saturday, 4:10 - Petite Bone vs. Tyler Chatwood
Sunday, 4:10 - Old Girl Parts vs. Jhoulys Chacin

Rockies Bats:
R - 330 (2nd)
AVG - .272 (5th)
OPS - .780 (2nd)

In last night's game, the Rockies lost Carlos Gonzalez/LF, Troy Tulowitzki/SS, and Dexter Fowler/CF to injuries.  CarGo and Fowler were only bruised, but Tulo broke a rib.  That's .315/.974, 140 R, 44 HR, 129 RBI, 23 SB missing from the lineup.  Don't worry, Phillie killer Todd Helton/1B (.360/1.097 lifetime) is still around and Michael Cuddyer/LF is having a helluva season too (.337/.995), so they won't go peacefully.

Rockies Arms:
ERA - 4.03 (16th)
WHIP - 1.34 (22nd)

The Rockies typically have good offenses, but it's their pitching that has them on the winning side of things this season.  The starters don't pitch deep into games, but they keep the score respectable.  When the ball is handed off to the bullpen, good things happen if Rex Brothers (1 earned run in 29.2 IP) or Adam Ottavino (1.80 ERA) get it.

Down on the Farm:
Two Clearwater Threshers are performing quite well- Severino Gonzalez/P and Maikel Franco/3B. 

Gonzalez is a skinny (6'1" 153 lb.) 20 year old that pitches right-handed.  In 3 minor league seasons (2 in Venezuela and now in Clearwater) he's only walked 11 batters in 158 innings.  That's Greg Maddux-esque control.  He also has a sparkling 1.59 ERA and 0.76 WHIP.

Franco is also 20 years old, but his talents are held within his bat.  He's currently batting .296/.912 with 23 DBL, 15 HR, and 49 RBI.  He's also improving at the hot corner, so in coming years the Phillies might have a good problem on their hands between Cody Asche and Maikel Franco fighting for 3rd base. 
Despite Colorado's injuries, the Rox sweep the Phils.  Phils offense disgusts me.  Amaro should be ashamed.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Roster Moves Coming

After last night's 5th consecutive loss, the Phillies optioned Cesar Hernandez back to Lehigh Valley.  Someone will be summoned today to take his spot on the 25-man roster.  I propose Darin Ruf.  Pitchers John Lannan and Carlos Zambrano are both ready to be added to the roster as well, so corresponding moves need to be made.  Here's what I would do...

Cesar Hernandez
Joe Savery
Tyler Cloyd

Darin Ruf
John Lannan
Carlos Zambrano

Darin Ruf would start in left field, while Domonic Brown shifts to right field.  Delmon Young is benched.  Amaro made a dickish comment recently about how Ruf's 30 homeruns in Double-A didn't really mean anything.  Well, I'll tell you what does mean something- this team's offense not scoring enough runs and your right field solution Delmon Young being the piece of shit I knew he was.

Lannan takes over as long reliever in the bullpen.  He could be moved into the rotation, but I'd rather see what Big Z has to offer there.  Zambrano seems motivated and has a better bat than Freddy Galvis, so I'd like to see him pitching more innings and getting some at bats along the way. 

Speaking of Freddy Galvis, he needs to be benched and Kevin Frandsen should start at 2nd until Utley's return.  Also, Mayberry should start at 1st base against lefties, with Howard sitting.

This team is a mess and going with status quo isn't going to work.  Shake things up.  Honestly, what would it hurt?

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

This Season Sucks

Stop pretending this is a team with a chance.  Stop playing the "what if" game.  Stop acting like things are going to turn around once Chooch and Utley return.  This team sucks. It's true. Deal with it.

arnold schwarzenegger thumbs down you suck tongue out, .JjW photo ArnoldThumbsDown.png

Staff "ace" Hamels has 9 losses, and don't go blaming it all on run support, because his 4.45 ERA ain't that great.  He's better than this, but he's certainly been part of the problem. 

Ryan Howard isn't good.  In fact, he's bad.  People that beat the homerun and RBI drum need to GTFO and STFU, because right now he has only 7 HR and 31 RBI.  Gimme a break, I'd rather have Rico Brogna.

Mike Adams was supposed to be the 8th inning savior.  All he's been is a big disappointment.  One DL stint, multiple times he couldn't pitch back-to-back days because of aches and pains, and 4 losses already with a 4.22 ERA/1.41 WHIP.  His days as a premier setup man seem far behind him.  Oh, but he's making premier setup man moolah 2 YR/$12M.

Chase Utley is a talented second baseman when on the field, but for the third straight season he's missed significant time while collecting a significant paycheck.

Humberto Quintero is the starting catcher.  Yep, it's that bad.

Ben Revere has a .561 OPS. WTF, how is that even possible?!

Delmon "P.O.S." Young is shitty.

Freddy Galvis will never hit enough to warrant a starting infield gig.  You're looking at a .220/.575 hitter in my opinion, which doesn't cut it, no matter how good the defense.

Jonathan Papelbon is an elite closer, but this team doesn't need a $13M a year guy in the 9th inning, because they don't get the lead enough to make that investment worth it.

Michael Young is the newest leadoff hitter.  Guess that's a good thing, because he'll likely hit into less double plays now (13 GIDP so far this season).

Jeremy Horst has made the second most relief appearances this year on the team and has a 5.55 ERA and 1.69 WHIP.  As awesome as he was last year, he's been that terrible this year.

Don't forget about Roy Halladay on the DL, until who knows when, and that he left behind a 8.65 ERA in 7 starts.

The Phillies offense is making some of the worst pitching staffs in all of baseball look good.  That's a blazing neon sign in the dark of night that this team sucks!  They're becoming bottom dwellers no matter how much you don't want to believe it.

Laynce Nix has 3 hits in his last 31 at bats.  In 2 seasons with the Phillies he's hit .225/.660, which is the reason he was never signed to a multi-year MLB contract previous to Amaro giving him one (only minor league contracts prior to that).

The farm system is essentially void of talent.  Their top prospects aren't that good, so hope of filling holes internally is bleak.

The Phillies offense is pushing out 3.6 runs per game, while the pitching is allowing 4.13 runs per 9 innings.  That is an unbalanced equation that equals losing.  They've scored 42 less runs than they've allowed.

The Philliers are 8 games back of the Atlanta Braves for the NL East lead and 7.5 games back of the NL's second Wild Card.  16 MLB teams currently have a better record than them.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Series Preview- Twins

Philadelphia Phillies (31-33) @ Minnesota Twins (27-33)

Pitching Match-Ups:
Tuesday - C'mon Hamels vs. PJ Walters
Wednesday - Tyler Cloyd vs. Mike Pelfrey
Thursday - Cliff Lee vs. Kevin Correia
8:10 start time for each game

Twinkies Bats:
R - 252 (18th)
AVG - .242 (24th)
OPS - .696 (22nd)

The Twins offense reminds me a lot of the Phillies, with one standout performer (Joe Mauer/Dom Brown) and bunch of other guys that are mediocre or just bad.  Mauer/C is batting .332/.912, but no other teammate has an OPS north of .782, and that's Josh Willingham/OF with a .215 batting average.  

Twinkies Arms:
ERA - 4.36 (24th)
WHIP - 1.42 (29th)

Vance Worley was terrible (7.21 ERA/1.99 WHIP in 10 starts) and was optioned to Triple-A in favor of tonight's starter PJ Walters (3.00 ERA in 3 starts).  Pelfrey has been terrible (6.40 ERA/1.72 WHIP), but Correia has been passable (4.11 ERA/1.32 WHIP).  The staff's strength is in the bullpen where Caleb Thielbar, Jared Burton, Glen Perkins, Ryan Pressly, Josh Roenicke, and Anthony Swarzak all have ERAs 3.38 or better.

What I'm Drinking:
Oskar Blues - straight out of the can baby!  This brewery hails from the beer mecca of Colorado and is constantly churning out high-quality libations.

I've previously professed my love for Dale's Pale Ale, as I truly believe it's the best of its style out there (the New York Times agrees with me).  Well, just so happens Oskar Blues has released a variety case featuring Dale's and two other tasty brews in it.

Mama's Little Yella Pils- this is a good summertime beer that can be found around the concourse at Citizens Bank Park. A crisp pilsener with Saaz hops that satisfies in the heat of June, July, and August.  Unlike mass market “pilsners” diluted with corn and rice, Mama’s is built with 100% pale malt and German specialty malts.

Old Chub- is a lovely scotch ale/wee heavy that has wonderfully sweet malts and a warming 8% ABV.  The cola-colored beer features a dense, tawny head, a creamy mouthful and flavors of caramel, chocolate and lightly roasted malt. Complex and rich, it finishes with a whisper of smokiness that calls to mind a fine single malt scotch.

Honestly, the Phillies should win each game, but they are creative in their attempts at failing, so I say they only take 1 outta 3.

Sunday, June 09, 2013

Believe in the Phillies- Loco en la Cabeza

*After Thursday's win, the Phillies finally had a winning record.  However, they promptly lost the last two nights to the lowly Brewers.  Once again, I feel the need to point out to people that "believe" in this team, that they are loco en la cabeza.  Milwaukee has one of the worst pitching staffs in all of baseball, yet the Phils offense make them look passable.  Domonic Brown is the only hitter worth a pinch of salt.  Brown is awesome, all others are not.

*Big Z has proclaimed himself to be MLB ready after his latest minor league outing.  In 3 minor league starts, Carlos Zambrano pitched 16.1 innings, allowing only 1 run for a 0.55 ERA and 1.04 WHIP.  Guess it's time for the experiment to move to Philly.  Tyler Cloyd would likely be the roster casualty.

*Erik Kratz injured his knee in the 9th inning on a ground out last night.  Carlos Ruiz is already on the DL, so that would mean the Phils would have to grab their 4th string catcher (Steve Lerud) from the minors should Kratz need to be disabled.  Bad situation might get worse.

*Because I'm a jerk and this is my blog- Ryan Howard stinks!!!

Friday, June 07, 2013

Happy Happy, Joy Joy!

A winning record, holy crap!  Enjoy it while it lasts.  Not to be overly pessimistic, but this 5 game winning streak that pushed the Phillies out of their losing record has been against two of the worst clubs in baseball (Miami Marlins and Milwaukee Brewers).  However, like the saying goes "a win is a win".  Anyway, Cliff Lee pitches tonight, woo-hoo!

Thursday, June 06, 2013

Series Preview- Brew City Here We Come!

Philadelphia Phillies (30-30) @ Milwaukee Brewers (22-36)

Pitching Match-Ups:
Thursday, 8:10- Tyler Cloyd vs. Wily Peralta
Friday, 8:10- Cliff Lee vs. Alfredo Figaro
Saturday, 7:15- Respect the KK vs. Undecided
Sunday,  2:10- Petite Bone vs. Kyle Lohse

Brew Crew Bats:
R - 232 (21st)
AVG - .258 (12th)
OPS - .719 (16th)

That doping dope, Ryan Braun/LF, might not be able to weasel his way out of a suspension this time, as MLB seeks punishment for the players involved with the Biogenesis clinic.  There is more to the Brewers offense beside him, as Aramis Ramirez/3B, Jean Segura/SS, Carlos Gomez/CF, and Norichika Aoki/RF all wield lethal weapons at the plate.  Catcher, Jonathan Lucroy, is starting to heat up as well (last 10 games- .389/1.227, 6 R, 3 HR, 9 RBI).

Brew Crew Arms:
ERA - 4.61 (29th)
WHIP - 1.39 (27th)

This is a bad pitching staff.  Lohse has been a disappointment, Figaro has made only 1 start to 16 relief appearances, Peralta has been a disaster, and this undecided guy has a straight fastball per scouting reports.  They might get closer, Jim Henderson, back this weekend, moving Francisco Rodriguez back to a setup roll.

*The Phillies lead all of baseball with 41 quality starts (6+ IP with 3 runs or less allowed).
*Dom Brown has clubbed an NL leading 18 homeruns.
*Cliff Lee's 2.45 ERA ranks 7th and his WHIP of 0.96 ranks 4th in the NL.
*Jonathan Papelbon remains an elite closer, despite his lack of save opportunities.  11 SV, 1.25 ERA, and 0.69 WHIP over 21 appearances.
*Of qualifying first basemen in MLB, Ryan Howard's OPS ranks 20th (.740), RBI 15th (29), HR 16th (7), and WAR 23rd (-0.1).  No matter how much Sir Alden argues that Howard was owed/earned this ridiculous extension, the facts say otherwise.  He's been an overpaid mediocre first basemen for a few years now.

The Brewers are one of the worst teams in baseball and the Phillies are on a 4 game roll while almost being able to taste a winning record.  Moving with the mystic mojo, I say Phils take 3 outta 4.

Wednesday, June 05, 2013


The Phillies can go to bed tonight knowing they aren't losers for at least one day.  Dom Brown went deep, again.  Cole Hamels finally won.  Ryan Howard chugged around the bases for a triple.  Phils swept the Marlins.  They're at even ground (.500, 30-30) heading to Milwaukee, with the chance of turning themselves into winners.  Cross your fingers...

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Beach Boys- Barbara Ann Remix in the Key of Dom Brown

Dom'nic Brown
(To the tune of the Beach Boys song Barbara Ann)

Dom, Dom, Dom...Dom Dom'nic Brown
Dom, Dom, Dom...Dom Dom'nic Brown

Oh, Dom'nic Brown
Yes you can
Dom'nic Brown

You're a rockin' and a rollin', hitting in a groove
Dom'nic Brown
Dom, Dom, Dom, Dom'nic Brown

Went to a game, tryin' to stay sane
Saw Dom'nic Brown, thought I'd give him a chance

You're a rockin' and a rollin', hitting in a groove
Dom'nic Brown
Dom, Dom, Dom, Dom'nic Brown

Since Patty-B
Tried Raul-I-Bee
Tried May-BERR-y
But none of them would do

Dom, Dom, Dom...Dom Dom'nic Brown
Dom, Dom, Dom...Dom Dom'nic Brown

Oh Dom'nic Brown
You're the man
Dom'nic Brown

You're a rockin' and a rollin', hitting in a groove
Dom'nic Brown
Dom, Dom, Dom, Dom'nic Brown.

*NL Leading 17 Homeruns
*9 Homeruns in Last 10 Games
*Song Parody Created by Loyal Reader Preserve Jon

Monday, June 03, 2013

Series Preview- Marlins

Miami Marlins (16-41) @ Philadelphia Phillies (27-30)

Pitching Match-Ups:
Monday, 7:05 - Tom Koehler vs. KK
Tuesday, 7:05 - Ricky Nolasco vs. Petite Bone
Wednesday, 1:05 - Jacob Turner vs. Old Girl Parts (aka- Cole Hamels)

Marlins Bats:
R - 171 (Dead f'n last)
AVG - .228 (29th)
OPS - .614 (Dead f'n last)

Lets be real, this team sucks.  I honestly don't remember a team this void of MLB caliber players.  So many of these guys wouldn't even be on the bench of most MLB teams, let alone the starting lineup.  Marcell Ozuna/OF (.333/.855) and Chris Coghlan/OF (.297/.792) seem to be the only threats.

Marlins Arms:
ERA - 4.07 (17th)
WHIP - 1.35 (24th)

The starting pitching in this series is capable of shutting down the Phillies offense [Koehler (3.22/1.07), Nolasco (3.69/1.15), and Turner (1 start, 0.00 ERA)].  Of course, Adam Eaton might toss a no-hitter against this sad sack of a squad too.  Even that douche-nugget, Chad Qualls, is pitching well for them (2.95/1.08).

Low scoring series and the Phils still won't reach even ground (.500).

Big Z Update:
Carlos Zambrano has completed the first leg of his minor league tour. He made 2 starts for the Clearwater Threshers, twirling 10.1 scoreless innings. Next destinations- Reading or Lehigh Valley.

Sunday, June 02, 2013

Eff an Effort