Friday, May 24, 2013

Series Preview- Gnats

Philadelphia Phillies (23-24) @ Washington Nationals (24-23)

Pitching Match-Ups:
Friday, 7:05 - KK vs. Jordan Zimmermann
Saturday, 7:15 - Petite Bone vs. Dan Haren
Sunday, 1:35 - C'mon Hamels vs. Stephen Strasburg

Gnats Bats:
R - 159 (28th)
AVG - .225 (29th)
OPS - .653 (29th)

For as much flack as the Phils get for their offense, the Nationals is actually worse.  Bryce Harper/RF, Ryan Zimmerman/3B, and Ian Desmond/SS are the only hitters doing well.  Adam LaRoche/1B has been a disappointment and Danny Espinosa/2B has been Least Valuable Player of MLB worthy (.487 OPS).  Jayson Werth is hurt...again.

Gnats Arms:
ERA - 3.53 (7th)
WHIP - 1.25 (9th)

Good news and bad news.  Bad news first- Zimmermann and Strasburg are high quality and back end of the bullpen is solid with Clippard and Soriano.  Good news- Haren continues his downward spiral and the bullpen lacks a reliable lefty (Zach Duke does not count).

Amaro is F'n Stupid:
As I reported before the Phillies even reported, Chase Utley has been placed on the DL.  Kevin Frandsen and Freddy Galvis are capable backups, so Utley's roster spot is wide open...for Michael Martinez.  I can't believe this shit. Amaro is dumb and getting dumber.  Mini-Mart sucked in 2 seasons with the Phils (.188/.512) and sucked this year down at Triple-A (.239/.590).  He been a terrible hitter his entire career, both minors and MLB.  Amaro and Manuel's man-crush on him is inexcusable.  This is proof that Rube shouldn't be a GM.  His insistence on keeping Martinez around should have him publicly flogged.  Good thing the Phils aren't at home tonight, or I'd start a campaign for eggs, rotten fruit and vegetables to be hurled onto the field in protest of this move.  I'd call it Campaign Chagrin.  What are the alternatives? Cesar Hernandez, Darin Ruf, Josh Fields, a 3-legged dog, the corpse of Bea Arthur, John Kruk's uni-ball...anything but Michael f'n Martinez!

Prediction:
I'm chugging the happy juice and going with Phils taking 2 outta 3.  This will put them at .500 and on even ground with the Nationals for 2nd place behind the Braves in the NL East.

12 comments:

Bob D said...

MiniTurd sits at #6 as all time worst Philly hitter in OPS. Maybe, just maybe he will creep up to the top spot. Of note all 5 were from the 1950's and earlier. So he is the worst Philly hitter (350 AB's) in the last sixty years - pretty impressive distinction in futility

Jo Momma said...

Screw Michael Martinez.

Screw Ruben Amaro Jr.

Screw Charlie Manuel.

Screw the Philadelphia Phillies

Anonymous said...

Martinez! Really? Amaro can screw himself in front of a mirror while practicing his smug ass grin! Worthless POS, both of them!

Ben said...

Is Amaro a worse GM than Manuel is a manager? I'm beginning to think so.

Beer-a-Thon said...

Bad KK returning?

Oh f**k!

Aaron said...

Ben Revere is a worthless piece of shit. How does a guy that fast miss so many fly balls and ground into so many double plays?? He's a spare outfielder at best.

Amaro and Cholly got to go. Mini Mart??? again ..mini Fucking Mart??????

They need to stop stalling and blow this team sky high!!
Play Ruf, Galvis , hernandez etc.

Beer-a-Thon said...

I mean this with all sincerity- Fuck Ruben Amaro Jr.

Anonymous said...

This is a four-game series, you muppet.

Anonymous said...

Nevermind. I'm the muppet...

Ben said...

You can criticize the Papelbon signing all you want, but he's the only player on the entire Phillies roster who makes me feel safe. He's been consistently impressive.

Beer-a-Thon said...

Papelbon is an elite closer. Paying $13M to a closer on a losing team doesn't make sense though.

Another decent outing by Petitbone.

jo momma said...

No offense yet again.

Hamels a loser yet again.

Mike Young GIDP yet again.

Boo!