Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Chooch a Druggie & Amaro Lands Racist Catcher

Hey, did you hear that Carlos "Chooch" Ruiz tested positive for amphetamines and will be suspended 25 games to begin the 2013 season?  Of course you did, and if you didn't, stop reading this blog and go give yourself a swirly in an unflushed toilet.

The Phillies farm system is void of any grizzled ol' career minor league catcher looking for a few MLB at bats (ex- what used to be Erik Kratz) or any young prospects ready for the prime time.  Tommy Joseph and Sebastian Valle are true prospects and calling them up for the first month of the season to not play every day isn't a good idea.  Therefore, Amaro went and snatched up a backup catcher on a minor league contract- Humberto Quintero.  Yes, the guy who punked his teammate Bruce Chen with a racist eye trick in 2012.  He meant no ill will by it, so it's all good in the hood. Right? 


Anyway, Quintero is 33 years old and has played 10 seasons with the Padres, Astros, and Royals.  Career Stats: 422 G, .234/.590, 87 R, and 113 RBI.  Obviously his bat doesn't hold value.  However, his defense does (Career 5.4 DWAR and 33% CS).  So, look for him to backup Kratz for the month of April until Chooch is released from the shackles that bind him.

And for your listening pleasure, Everclear's Amphetamine...

27 comments:

Corey said...

that truly was for my listening pleasure.

article on ESPN (i think...) said this was Ruiz's second positive. dumbass. i'm guessing he's taking it ton control his weight.

raycess catcher. grrrreeeaaaat. /sarcasm.

Aaron said...

Here's a list of some players MAJORS AND MINORS who have been suspended for drugs, Anyone see the trend??

ALEX SANCHEZ
JORGE PIEDRA
AGUSTIN MONTERO
JUAN RINCON
RAFAEL BETANCOURT
RAFAEL PALMEIRO
CARLOS ALMANZAR
FELIX HEREDIA
LUIZ GONZALEZ
DANNY RIOS
GUILLERMO MOTA
JUAN SALAS
NEIFI PEREZ
JOSE GUILLEN
ELIEZER ALFONZO
JC ROMERO
MANNY RAMIREZ
EDISON VOLQUEZ
FREDDY GALVIS
MELKY CABRERA
BARTALO COLON
YASMANI GRANDAL
CARLOS RUIZ
FRANCISCO CORDOVA
JESUS GUZMAN
ROBERT MACHADO
JULIUS MATOS
RICARDO RODRIGUEZ
EIDER TORRES
RANDY RUIZ
GUILLERMO RODRIGUEZ
JONATHAN HERRERA
JORGE TOCA
LUIS UGUETO
WILSON DELGADO
RAMON CASTRO
LUIS UGUETO
RAMON RAMIREZ
NERIO RODRIGUEZ
ABRAHAM NUNEZ
YAMID HAAD
FRANCISCO CRUCETA
LINO URDANETA
ANGEL SALOME
HUMBERTO COTA
RUNELVYS HERNANDEZ
SERGIO MITRE
PABLO OZUNA
PEDRO LOPEZ
OMAR QUINTANLLA

THIS LIST 86 PLAYERS LISTED 50 OF THOSE PLAYERS ARE LISTED ABOVE. HMMMM.
BY MY CALCULATIONS, IF YOU HAVE A Z IN YOUR NAME AND PLAY PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL THERE'S AN 85% CHANCE YOUR ON DRUGS.

GM-Carson said...

Definitely appears that Hispanics are being targeted.

Conspiracy theory or just that they're truly the ones getting caught?

GM-Carson said...

Rumor has it that Phils are about to acquire Wilton Lopez from the Astros.

He's under team control through 2015 and is a quality reliever (3 straight seasons of sub-3 ERA).

He'll be the setup man.

Bob D said...

Lopez has a z in name too.....
Ruiz is still a favorite
Kratz has a z in name too

Aaron said...

Lopez....oh Shiz....that means he has an 85% chance of beging on drugs by my previously mentioned calculations above.

seriouly though...love this trade depending on who they give up. Quality for cheap as opposed to old and expensive.

Corey said...

"Definitely appears that Hispanics are being targeted." - whoah there sparky. just because a majority of the players are hispanic, it doesn't mean they are 'targeted.' that is a gigantic leap to make. you think there just might be a another explanation? like, they have access to drugs in there home country without the need for a prescription. or they take supplements not knowing what is in them due to the language differences. or maybe since they have been in baseball academies since they were 7 years old, they are trained to do whatever it takes to make in baseball because if not they'll be shoveling crap off the streets of Santo Domingo.

targeted? when did you turn into jesse jackson?

GM-Carson said...

Corey- the "Hispanics being targeted" is a conspiracy theory that's been bounced around the internet and talk radio over the past few years. Not my idea.

I agree with your assessment whole-heartedly. They're the ones getting caught, MLB is not seeking them out solely.

No gigantic leap on my behalf, just throwing out there what thousands of others have suggested. I was running with Aaron's theme sarcastically, but unfortunately that is lost via the world wide web.

Corey said...

oh, okay. i interpreted "Definitely appears that Hispanics are being targeted" as it definitely appears to you that Hispanics are being targeted. my bad.

GM-Carson said...

I should have worded it better and made it clear I was poking fun at the idea. Poor writing on my behalf. Like I said, what you wrote about Hispanics is spot on.

Anthony said...

Ryan Braun is not Hispanic...

wait...

Ben said...

I wouldn't panic too much. There was no way that Chooch was going to put up anything close to what he did last year, I'd have been happy with .275/.350/.400 from him. If Kratz can do something close to that for a month (which I think isn't improbable), all we lose is defense.

GM-Carson said...

Actually, Kratz is great on defense. Super strong arm.

GM-Carson said...

BJ Upton to sign with Braves. 5yr $75M...thank God Amaro didn't go that route.

Aaron said...

That's two good moves today. Not signing BJ is great non-signing. Looking forward to watching him K and jog for the next 5 years.

Ben said...

Dodged a bullet there with Upton. That's literally the worst thing that could have happened to the Phils this off season.

GM-Carson said...


If the Phils landed Hamilton to man RF then I'd be fine with a platoon of Mayberry/Shierholtz & Nix in CF with Brown & Ruf in LF and Youk then at 3rd.

Lineup Vs. Lefties
1. Rollins
2. Utley
3. Hamilton
4. Youk
5. Howard
6. Chooch
7. Ruf
8. Mayberry

Lineup vs. Righties
1. Rollins
2. Utley
3. Hamilton
4. Howard
5. Youk
6. Chooch
7. Brown
8. Shierholtz

That would be fine, right?

2 YR/$18M for Youk
4 YR/$108M for Hamilton

Chase Trillo said...

Dodged a bullet with B.J. going to the Braves. Now lets land Pagan and/or Hamilton! Maybe we can even pry Gregerson away from the Pads if the Lopez thing fails (which I actually hope it does). I think the guy is playing over his head and is due to come back to reality. He never struck me as a guy, when watching him against the Phils, that I went "it would be great if the Phils could land this guy one day..."

Anonymous said...

why not take a flyer on figgins? he cant really be that bad and if he is send him packing! he'll only cost the minimum

Chase Trillo said...

Figgins on a minor league deal, sure. Otherwise, forget it.

GM-Carson said...

Figgins on minor league deal makes sense.

Wilton Lopez has great control and induces ground balls. He is quality. He also pitched in a bandbox in Houston while Gregorson had the spacious park in San Diego.

Chase Trillo said...

Better get a CF and 3B who can field then with Wilton. At least Gregerson can blow you away if needed, but you are right he did have Petco to his advantage.

Aaron said...

read a good article about Upton comparing Rollins stats to Upton. Essentially the Braves just got Rollins plus a few more homers and strikeouts and many more millions of dollars.
I'm so freakin glad we didn't sign him. I was having nightmares about Upton and Howard striking out eight times in a game.

I like the idea of Figgins on a minor league deal. It makes total sense for the Phils and for Figgins. Unless of course the Phils can manage to sign an actual third baseman.

I am torn on the outfield. Currently i like the idea of Pagan and swisher on a 3 or 4 year deal. Might be able to get the two of them combined for 10 to 15 million more than the Braves paid for just Upton.

Hamilton would be good but the contract would have to be no more than 4 years and I would want him in the corners not center.

Bourne and Youk might be ok but I think we would really need Ruf and Brown to step up this year.

Bourne and Cody Ross might be ok but probably too expensive.

So I guess today i'm sayin I want Pagan and Swisher

Pagan
Rollins
Utley
Swisher
Howard
Ruiz
Ruf/Brown
Galvis/Frandsen/Figgins?

That's decent ....right?

GM-Carson said...

I do not want Bourne. He will come at a steep price and he's an aging Guy who's game is built entirely upon speed.

Bob D said...

I prefer someone who has great defense in CF and who gets on base well. Victorino does fall into that spot along with a handful of guys.
Hamilton would be the big power bat (another lefty) and would be ok to me - wonder if he can move to 3rd base? lol

Rumor is a catching prospect and Clyod to Astros for Lopez - and trade has hit snag. That's a steep price if its Rupp, Valle, or Joseph included.

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