Monday, 7:10 - Cole Hamels v. Nate Eovaldi
Tuesday, 7:10 - Oh no, it's KK v. Josh Johnson
Wednesday, 12:40 - Roy Halladay v. Mark Buehrle
Why Carninal Goldfish?
...because that fish describes this team way better than the one they are using now.
Every dumb little kids loves winning a goldfish at the carnival. It swims around in that little plastic bag full of water, it's scales majestically reflecting the fluorescent light coming from the top of the funnel cake stand. The kid's parents know how this is going to end but they do what they have to do, and they spend a bunch of money on a new bowl, some food and bowl decorations like small blue stones or a miniature castle. And for a few days or a week, that fish lives like a king. It sits in the living room or on a prominent table for all to see. The kid feeds it every day. Dad changes the water in the bowl. But then... things change. Dad stops changing the water and it becomes cloudy. The kid forgets the fish exists because mom moved the bowl into the corner of the kitchen behind the toaster, so he never feeds it The fish starts swimming more slowly every day until one days it's "swimming" on its back. And nobody really cares, including the kids. So Dad flushes it.
Well, that's basically the Marlins season.
Oh, how everybody loved the Marlins at the beginning of the season. They signed one of the shiniest catches in the free agent market, hitting champ Jose Reyes. Reyes joined young slugger Mike Stanton, 5-tool knucklehead Hanley Ramirez and perennial breakout, Cy Young candidate Josh Johnson in what looked like a contending team. Then they added the loud-mouthed attention whore Ozzie Guillen to manage these young studs. Of course, just having the fish wasn't good enough. They needed a new bowl (Marlins Stadium) with interesting decorations (whatever the hell that thing is in center field that makes noise when homers are hit). They hosted an Opening Day game. They were the darlings of Baseball Tonight. Everything was peachy in South Beach.
Then, things went wrong. Josh Johnson didn't pitch so well. Mike Stanton complained that the park was too big to hit homers. Jose Reyes, the batting champion, was hitting below .250. Hanley Ramirez was just plain horrible, on both his play and his attitude. People stopped paying attention. The bowl became cloudy, if you will. They started swimming slowly. And then one day, Hanley was in LA and the fish were in last place. The season got flushed.
Phils win two to take the series with KK taking the one loss, of course.