Monday, April 09, 2012

Series Preview - Miami Marlins

Phillies (1-2) v. Miami Marlins (1-3)

Pitching Matchups:
Monday, 1:05 - Cole Hamels v. Anibal Sanchez
Wednesday, 7:00 - Roy Halladay v. Josh Johnson
Thursday, 7:05 - Joe Blanton v. Mark Buehrle

Fish Batting:
Runs - 14 (14th)
Avg - .226 (15th)
Slug - .368 (18th)

Fish Pitching:
ERA - 4.46 (24th)
WHIP - 1.37 (22nd)
BAA - .280 (25th)

Their Freddy Galvis:
Austin Kearns is 0-2. A few pitchers don't have hits. Gaby Sanchez is 1-12 and Hanley Ramirez is 2-15, but I foresee those players getting a few hits in the near future.

Their Danys Baez:
Closer Heath Bell gave up 2 runs to the Reds yesterday and his ERA sits at a cool 13.50. No other bullpen member has blown up yet.

Their JD Drew:
Lots of unlikable guys to choose from here. There's Jose Reyes who loves to showboat when his team is losing and 15 games back in the standings. There is Carlos Zambrano who likes fighting with teammates then quitting "retiring" midseason. But my favorite is the drunken idiot manager, Ozzie Guillen. He's often quoted, frequently wrong, occasionally bigoted and homophobic, but always an ass. His latest zinger? He told Time magazine he loves Fidel Castro and respects him for staying in power so long. Well, at least for Ozzie, he's managing in Miami where he's unlikely to find anybody who's been affected by Castro's dictatorship or has any strong feelings about Cuban politics. What a peach that Ozzie Guillen is.

What We're Drinking:
Corey - Beefeater gin and club soda. At 94 proof, it's got that little something extra, namely more alcohol than typical spirits. A 'beefeater' is a ceremonial guardian at the Tower of London. I took a tour of the Tower of London led by a beefeater. It was pretty cool. I saw where Ann Bolyen got beheaded. They didn't give me gin at the end of the tour, which was disappointing.

Carson - Goat Rodeo Brewing's "The Bunny Hop". Created from a carrot cake recipe and adapted it to the brewing process and the rest is history. A nut brown ale as the base with cascade hops, carrots, raisins, toasted coconut and walnuts, vanilla extract, a stick of cinnamon, and lactose (to serve as the "icing"). Perfect for the season/holiday.

What We're Listening To:
Corey - Lucero - "Women & Work" - Memphis rockers Lucero released their latest album three weeks ago. They'll be at the Abbey Bar in Harrisburg (upstairs at Appalachian Brewery) April 24th. I have my tickets. If you live in the area and like real rock & roll, don't miss this show.

Carson - Sarge, T-Mac & Wheels. Yes, I hate myself.

Magic Number Watch:
The Phils are not in first place. :(

This sucks. But don't worry, I have something that will make you smile... or vomit. Remember when Scott Stapp (Creed) did the Marlins theme song? I do. Have a listen.

Maybe it's the crystal meth talking, but I have a good feeling about this series. Phils take the first two behind OGP and Doc and finish the series at .500. Lock it up.


GM-Carson said...

Doc goes Wednesday, with Heavy B picking up the series finale.

GM-Carson said...

Phillies MLB Ranks:
R - 6/29th
AVG - .204/21st
OPS - .524/29th
XBH - 3/Dead F'n Last

ERA - 1.65/3rd
WHIP - 0.88/2nd

So glad people set me straight on Facebook and proved to me that defense is superior to offense. I men as long as they have a great glove, it doesn't matter if they hit...right?!

Preserve Jon said...

Phils suck. The season is over.

Aaron said...

The lineup today should be the everyday lineup. With occasional starts for Thome against right handsets.
Wigginton and Nix both suck at everything they do.

GM-Carson said...

The bad thing about playing at home this season is that the opponent gets first opportunity to score in the first, and if they do, the game might as well be over.

Example- today, 1-0 already. Game over?

GM-Carson said...

Freddy Galvis caught looking. 0-11. So glad he's our starting second baseman and his defense is winning games. Oh, Facebook, thanks for setting me straight.


Corey said...

i will not stop pointing out how bad galvis is until his AB:Out ratio is greater than 1.

GM-Carson said...

Old Girl Parts not pitching very well today. Homerun to Omar Infante...really?

3-0, game over.

Corey said...

what's a home run?

Aaron said...

Fuck......we are the Padres

GM-Carson said...

Miguel Cabrera has outhit the Phillies so far this season.

Really, this team looks just plain bad.

Not sure if that's going to change.

Corey said...

even on gamecast the team looks like shit...

GM-Carson said...

T-Mac, Sarge, and Wheels all making excuses for the Galvis. He should have been covering first base on that bunt, but instead the blame Mayberry who was charging the play.

They also think he's a "much better hitter than he's shown".


GM-Carson said...

Fantasy insider says "pick up any starting pitcher facing the Phillies". Good advice.

Aaron said...

Omar infante now has more homers in 2 at bats than the phils entire team does in 4 games.

GM-Carson said...

Infante- 3 HR in 2012.

Phillies- 1 HR in 2012.

This team sucks!

Corey said...

the boxscore looks like hamels deserved better - 9 Ks, no walks in only 5.1 innings. sounds like bad luck to me...

GM-Carson said...

Corey- you're right, all bad luck.

Galvis with his 1st hit and 2 RBI. Give that kid the Rookie of the Year award.

Corey said...

now what?

damn you galvis, that one hit gets you another month at second base.

GM-Carson said...

Charlie's managing wizardry. Send Nix up to PH, then burns him for Ty Wiggy.

So smart!

Aaron said...

It doesn't matter nix and wiggy both suck. It's good managing because by burning them both at once they can only make 1 combined out instead of 2.

Corey said...

did make a mistake? is that papelbon pitching down three runs? i mean, he couldn't come in with a runner on second and two outs in the 8th against the pirates or yesterday, but he's pitching down three? must be a mistake.

GM-Carson said...

Manuel is stupid.

Also, if Austin Kearns hits a homerun against your team and it's not 2006, you know your team officially sucks.

SirAlden said...

whine whine whine....

who has the old girl parts now?

you deserve a team like this "frontrunners"

J-Roll was right. STHU and root.

SirAlden said...

babybuns whiners.

GM-Carson said...

SirAlden- dude, you've been reading this blog for a long time. You have to know we're not really giving up on this team, just venting.

But stop and be honest with yourself for a moment- do you really think this team as currently constructed is going to be good?

SirAlden said...


SirAlden said...

even if they come in last place - no whining like girl parts during their visit from their aunts.