Sunday, April 22, 2012
Do Not Vote Phillies for 2012 All-Star Game
The image above is some bullshit propaganda provided by Phillies.com
2012 Phillies All-Star Hopefuls Credentials:
Placido Polanco - .192/.434, 3 R, 1 RBI. His bat is as dead as Dick Clark. Shouldn't have been voted the starter at 3rd base last year, and sure as hell shouldn't be this year either. If you vote for Polly you probably like Kool-Aid with no sugar, fries with no ketchup, beer with no alcohol, going to the bathroom with no toilet paper, sex with no partner, etc.
John Mayberry Jr. - .179/.385, 0 R, 2 RBI, 12 K in 39 AB. I'm not even sure what to say about this. Voting for JMJ would be like voting for the devil in the 2012 Presidential election.
Hunter Pence - .276/.747, 8 R, 2 DBL, 2 HR, 7 RBI, 2 SB. Not bad, but not really good either. He's fun, but that shouldn't get him All-Star votes.
Carlos Ruiz - .275/.736, 3 R, 3 DBL, 1 HR, 3 RBI. Chooch is good, but not All-Star good.
Jimmy Rollins - .237/.535, 7 R, 3 RBI, 2 SB. He's been miscast as a leadoff hitter in the past, and now he's misplaced in the 3-hole. Ask the Mets who's the team to beat now.
Chase Utley - 2 bum knees, no games played, career in limbo. If you vote for Utley you should probably have your citizenship revoked.
Shane Victorino - .293/.763, 8 R, 2 HR, 4 RBI, 6 SB. If you really felt the need to vote for a Phillies player, I'd cut you some slack if you chose The Flyin' Hawiian, but you still shouldn't.
Ryan Howard - no games played, no return in sight, making $20M in the first year of a 5 year extension that might go down as one of the worst in MLB history. By the time 2016 rolls around, Howard and Utley might both be in wheelchairs. Voting for Howard would be like supporting inflation, higher gas prices, communism, and a career resurrection for Macy Gray.
*Stats through games played on April 21st.