Thursday, March 01, 2012

Wednesday Morning Bench Coach

It's Wednesday, which means more stupid ramblings from me. Again, let's start with a "Charlie in the Movies" photo.

Ryan Zimmerman
Short take on the Ryan Zimmerman contract – it’s good for Washington. Sure, Zimmerman is now the second highest paid third sacker in history, but he’s making less per year than Jayson Werth, who is now the standard bearer for shitty contracts. In fact, I’ve developed the “Jayson Werth Bad Contract Algorithm.”

Continue reading after the jump if you're interested on my thoughts on Lil Wayne, fashionable eye wear, and batting practice injuries...

Lil Wayne
I’ve never “gotten” Lil Wayne. Rap album of the year. Grammy awards. I just don’t get it. His stuff sounds like garbage to me. So when I belatedly stumbled across “The Carter,” a documentary about Lil Wayne filmed a few years ago, I gave it a watch. I thought it might give me a new appreciation for Weezy. Well, it didn’t. Now I don’t just think his music is garbage, I’m convinced of it. And on top of it, he’s a drug addict whose either so high he can’t put a rational thought together or he’s a complete moron with serious emotional problems.

If you have an hour to kill, watch the whole think on youtube. If you only have five minutes, skip ahead to minute 106. The next 4-5 minutes focuses on his creative process in the studio. The highlights:

1) Philosophy of Lil Wayne – “Repetition is the father of learning. Money. B****es. All that comes from repetition.”
2) Freestyling about cotton candy. “I eat cotton candy. I sip cotton candy.”
3) Showing absolutely no talent at singing, or playing the drums, keyboards, bass guitar or electric guitar.
4) At minute 109, he performs the worst singing and guitar solo combination every recorded. If you can’t watch anything else, this one minute is worth your time.

I couldn’t help but compare these 4 minutes of idiocy to the fictional rapper S.mouse. Check out this short clip and tell me they aren’t the same rapper.

So the AJ Burnett era in Pittsburgh has started with a thud. More specifically, the thud of a foul ball smacking Burnett in the face.

While trying to bunt, Burnett redirected a BP fastball directly into his own face yesterday. The story and video can be seen HERE. He left the complex and flew back to Pittsburgh to be evaluated. Apparently, there are no doctors in the state of Florida.

Has anybody noticed the fashion trend of wearing unnecessary, non-prescription eyewear? "Nerd glasses," the kids call it. People have been doing this for awhile but recently the trend has hit the NBA. Lebron, D-Wade, Amare and many other stars have been sporting the look lately.

Well, they look ridiculous. And I usually don't care about stupid fashion trends, but once they infiltrate sports, I get concerned. What if Doc walks out to the mound in April looking like this?


GM-Carson said...

Lil' Wayne sucks. He is talentless. I truly don't understand the infatuation with him by society. His flow is sloppy, his rhymes are often contrived and senseless, and he just churns out as much shit/music as he possibly can so people can pay up.

Preserve Jon said...

Playoff expansion for this year is stupid. How dare they enter pre-season not knowing how many teams will make the playoffs. Selig is an egotistical ass.

You want to see a change that will make the game better? Ditch the divisions and create two 15 team leagues. The top 4 in each league make the playoffs. Or if you absolutely must, the top 5 and the bottom two have a stupid play in game. This idea that a one-game play in creates drama is crazy. TV ruins everything.

Go back to a 154 game season and make the schedule partially imbalanced based on regional rivalries so travelling secretaries don't go insane trying to schedule their seasons out.

/rant over

Randy said...

What about a Ryan Howard contract algo-whatever it's called?

Andrew said...

Holy crap Lil Wayne - Who pays for that stuff? I've heard better music sitting on the toilet.

GM-Carson said...

Andrew- great, now you just gave Weezy his next idea for an album- Toilet Remixed Shit.