Friday, February 03, 2012

WSBGMs Super Bowel Preview (Who To Root For?)

The Super Bowl is unfortunately going to happen this week. And most of us will watch it, or at least be at a party where the game will be shown. So we each need a team to root for. But these teams are so unlikeable, right? Well, don't worry. WSBGMs is here to help you pick the lesser of two evils. With science! Remember, the numbers never lie, so let's go to the Tale OF The Tape!

Schadenfreude (City)
NE - Boston has been waaaaay too successful lately. All four major professional sports teams have won titles recently. That's not acceptable.
NYG - I don't like that city or the people who live there. I don't want any of their teams to win. Ever.
Disadvantage –New York

Schadenfreude (Team)
NE - I know the Patriots have won a bunch of Super Bowls, but now most of those players are gone. And frankly, this team isn't that despicable. They have a tight end who hangs out with porn stars. That's some good mojo. The coach isn't fun to root against, because despite being an incredible knob, he never changes his expression which deprives us of some of the joy of reveling in his misfortune. Check out the pics below. One is of him winning the Super Bowl and the other is of him losing. Which is which?

NYG – Most of the Giants act like classless idiots. There’s way too much dancing and showing-off, for my liking. Someone should tell them they don’t play for “The U” anymore. So I’d like to see those fools get their comeuppance. Post-game tears would be verrrrrrry satisfying. But even more fun than that would be watching the many faces of an unhappy Eli Manning. Every time something bad happens, the camera immediately goes to Eli and he rarely dissappoints. I'm not the only one who enjoys documenting and laughing and the Manning misfortune and the subsequent "golly-gee, oh-shucks, dad-gum" faces that follow. Check out this site.
Disadvantage - New York.

Likeable Coaches
NE – Bill Belicheat - Dick
NYG – Tom Coughlin – Dick
Disadvantage – Push

Quarterback Hobbies
NE - Brazilain supermodels. Getting haircuts designed to look like he didn’t just get a haircut. Ugg boots.
NYG - Long, drawn-out words. Huntin’ and a fishin’.
Disadvantage - Push. The Gisele cancels out all the other negatives. And Eli, by his Southern backwoods nature, likes ties... or at least the feelings they invoke.

Did They Beat My Team
NE – No.
NYG - Yes.
Disadvantage – New York

Verdict - The numbers say you have to root for the Patriots. Hey, you can't argue with science.

[Super Bowl gambling side note - Want a fun prop bet? Go to a Super Bowl party and bet some money on who will be the first person to say something like, "I just watch the Super Bowl for the commercials." It happens at every party so you know there's going to be a winner. Also, if the person who makes the comment is man over the age of 16, you're allowed to hit him in the face.]


GM-Carson said...

I just watch the Super Bowl for the commercials.

GM-Carson said...

•Jimmy Rollins' $11MM option for 2015 will vest if he makes 600 plate appearances in 2014, or if he makes a combined 1100 PAs in 2013 and 2014, reports Jim Salisbury of (Twitter link).

Anonymous said...

i got my bumperstickers...thanks guys!

Jeremy said...

I voted for Eaton. His numerous failures drove both GM's to ever more creative use of adjectives in their writing skills, akin to what Bell did for this blog. In my mind Baez came in second. Had he had a more sustained timeline of failure (in Philly) he surely would have been a shoe in.

Bob D said...

Mannings southern drawl is akin to Cholly's so @QB advantage Ny . Still have to root for Ne myself only because too many Ny fans near me.

GM-Carson said...

Ha, I just realized Corey titled this "Super Bowel Preview". Crafty bastard.

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