Thursday, September 08, 2011

Series Preview - Brewers

Philadelphia Phillies (91-48) at Milwaukee Brewers (85-59)

Thursday 8:10 - Cole Hamels v. Chris Narveson
Friday 8:10 - Roy Halladay v.Shaun Marcum
Saturday 7:10 - Cliff Lee v. Randy Wolf
Sunday 2:10 - The Vanimal v.Yovani Gallardo

Beermakers Pitching:
ERA - 3.64 (8th)
WHIP - 1.23 (4th)
BAA -  .245 (7th)

Beermakers Batting:
Runs  - 635 (12th)
Avg - .262 (8th)
OPB - .323 (11th)
SLG - .421 (6th)

Magic Number Watch:
To win NL East: 12
To clinch playoff spot: 5

Nyjer Being Nyjer:
Specifically, acting like an idiot.

He got into it with Chris Carpenter last night after striking out. Apparently Carpenter was sick of Morgan's incessant chirping and "acting the fool" and had something to say after punching out the diminutive ass-clown in the ninth inning. For his part, Morgan yelled some not-so-niceties before chucking a hunk of chewing tobacco toward the mound. Classy. Afterward, Morgan took umbrage to Pujols coming to the defense of his pitcher, saying this on Twitter, "Alberta couldn't see Plush if she had her gloves on!!! Wat was she thinking running afta Plush!!! She never been n tha ring!!!"

Them's fightin' words. And you know, when there's a fight, we go to the Tale of the Tape!!!

Pujols: The Machine
Morgan: Plush
Advantage: And I feel, when the dogs begin to smell her, will she smell alone? That's "Plush" you idiot. Advantage Pujols.

Pujols: 6'3", 230.
Morgan: 6'0", 175.
Advantage: I would love to see Albert squash this bug.

Baseball skill:
Pujols: All-Star, MVP,. Gold Glove, Silver Slugger. HoF is waiting.
Morgan: Traded by the Pirates and the Nationals.
Advantage: Pujols.

The numbers never lie. Pujols in a walk over.

What We're Drinking:
Corey - Not beer! That's the drink of the enemy. Oh, who am I kidding. It's football tonight and my beloved Pack are playing. And I don't work tomorrow. I'll have sore elbows from all the 12 oz curls. Let the glory of football begin.

Carson  - water, I'm trying prevent excessive flooding.

What We're Listening Too:
Corey - Lucero. Possibly my favorite band of the past ten years.

Carson - sirens and raindrops.

Who cares? Look at those magic numbers. Maybe the Phils will drop a few so when they meet in the playoffs, the naive Brewers will have a false sense of security and confidence. Charlie is a managerial genius. Don't put it past him.


GM-Carson said...

I don't say this lightly- I hate Nyjer Morgan!

Preserve Jon said...

T Plush can't hurt Phils
Braun and Fielder can't either
Phils take three of four.

My thoughts in haiku.

SirAlden said...

Franchise Record 43 Games Over .500

SirAlden said...


You Eurotrash TranceBeater Corey You!

SirAlden said...

John John John...

Corey said...

now you know damn well that's not the lucero i'm talking about. shame on you. in case there's any mistake...

that mayberry story is classic!

SirAlden said...

Follow up to While My Guitar Gently Weeps.

Good Stuff.

SirAlden said...

She's my best girl - She's got six strings...

and she knows all about these heartbreak and things...

She's always by my side.

GM-Carson said...

Morgan isn't funny either. His schtick makes him seem brainless and high on crack. I wish he'd go away.

Dr. Steve said...

I love gifs.

Preserve Jon said...

It's the time of the year where this team smells blood in the water. They're on a run that is exciting to watch. Only a matter of time now.

GM-Carson said...

Even our scrubs win games.

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