Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Protecting Hamels

Cole Hamels needs protection. A condom only covers his nether regions. Body guards aren't an allotted position on the baseball field. A pitching screen is only used in batting practice. A bubble can easily be popped by splintered bats after he saws some batter off. A gun is too ghetto or NRA. What to do? A heat seeking force field of course! Below you will find a demo of the defense mechanism Hamels will deploy tonight in Florida. Its combination of yellow, orange, and red sensors allow for it to detect incoming objects and alter the path of them. This should keep Cole's non-pitching hand safe tonight and it'll also protect him at the plate should any Marlins pitcher get a bit erratic.


In Other News:
*Vance Worley was optioned back to Lehigh Valley to keep his regular turn in the rotation going through the All-Star break.

*John Mayberry was recalled to take Worley's roster spot and probably play CF while Shane Victorino's thumb recovers.

*Brad Lidge worked a scoreless inning for Lakewood yesterday in his first rehab outing.

*Bryce Harper was promoted to Double-A Harrisburg yesterday and Corey and I are going to go see him play later this week.

5 comments:

ripjgarcia said...

I'm good with the Worley thing, and I thinking he'll understand what it's about this time as opposed to last time where he had no clue as to what was going on.

WTF bringing up Mayberry and starting that putrid excuse for a player in Martinez, now hitting .178!

ripjgarcia said...

Why bring Hamels back out the in the 8th inning in a 6 run game?

I swear to whoever if something happens I'm marching down to the offices of the GM and demanding somebody's resignation.

GM-Carson said...

Hamels finally gets his 10th win.

Martinez with a bases clearing triple. Oh my. Only took him until his 6th at bat of the game to do something productive. Hahaha, gotta rag on him, because he still sucks.

Rando said...

Yeah martinez still sucks. Who is on tap with the Phillies Lite (aka the Ipigs) to bring up in his place?

GM-Carson said...

I'm hoping Amaro picks up a role player or two before the trade deadline and then Martinez is gone. Larish, Delwyn Young, Josh Barfield, Pete Orr, and Tagg Bozied are some guys in AAA that might be better pinch hit options.