The Phillies have scored 3 runs or less in 54% of their games (42 times in 78 games). Damn you offense!
And your NL All-Star at 3rd base is...Placido Polanco, who has hit .225/.559 in May and June since his torrid Ted Williams-esque April of .398/.971. Damn you Polly!
$11.5M fossilized LF Raul Ibanez is batting .197/.516 in the month of June and hasn't had a hit in a week. Damn you Rrraaauuulll!
Super-duper "prospect" Domonic Brown is batting a disgusting .159/.585 in June. He is not the "Domonator" as some have suggested, rather he's being "domonated". Damn you Dom!
Remember when Ben Francisco was thought to be one of the best 4th outfielders in baseball? Well, he has only 6 hits and 2 RBI in June. Damn you Benny Fran!
Leadoff batter extraordinaire Jimmy Rollins has a .221 average and paltry .302 OBP going on in June. Damn you J-Roll!
*Roy Oswalt is out until at least August. For now, Kyle Kendrick takes his spot in the rotation. 4 Aces my ass!
*Alright, enough of this stuck on 9 wins crap. Hamels couldn't seal the deal twice (Damn you offense!), and today Halladay gets his second chance. After only going 6 innings and 97 pitches in his last start, Doc is probably good for 11-12 innings today should the offense need that much time to score a friggin' run.
*The Pittsburgh Pirates are 2 games above .500 (39-37), and this is without the offensive boost Pedro Alvarez was supposed to give. They've done it largely on pitching. Go Buccos!