Derek Jeter won the Gold Glove yesterday. Here's what him winning means to me:
1) I don't hate Derek Jeter, the person. I don't know him. I'm sure he's a fine human. Who am I to know or to judge? But I do hate the Yankees and I hate perception of Derek Jeter. This Gold Glove win validates my feelings.
How do you win a Gold Glove in the same week that people are writing articles about whether it's time for you to find a new position? There's only one way: your name is Derek Jeter and people's opinions of you are so super-inflated that you are immune to the abundant negative facts about your play. Like...
Derek Jeter is clutch, even though he has never been amongst the leaders for RBIs after the 7th inning that tie or take the lead.
Derek Jeter is clutch in the playoffs, even though is overall playoff numbers are relatively the same or in some categories worse than his regular season numbers.
Derek Jeter is the ideal leader and winner in baseball, even though he is the only team captain to have his team lose a 3-0 lead in the playoffs.
Derek Jeter is a Gold Glove winner even though his range is subjectively (everyone knows he's as slow as shit) and objectively (UZR) one of the league's worst.
And despite hitting .270/.340/.370 with rapidly deteriorating defensive skills, he'll get $15-20 million per year for 3-4 years.
Of course, who needs stats and facts. Certainly not Jeter himself, who once told Sports Illustrated, "You can take those stat guys and throw them out the window."
That's right, nothing to see here. Keep moving people...
I hate "Derek Jeter."
2) The Gold Glove is a joke. We all already knew this. Ever since Bobby Abreu won one and Rafael Palmeiro won one after only playing 28 games of defense. We really can't be upset now that Jeter won his 5th. It's a farce and should be treated as so.
However, it's still wrong and it is a legitimate organization pretending to give out a legitimate award. Giving Jeter this award is like the Academy giving a "Best Picture" Oscar to "Howard The Duck." Or the Insane Clown Posse winning a Grammy.
3) The American League managers and coaches who voted for Derek Jeter should be ashamed. I don't necessarily expect guys like Ron Washington or Joe Maddon to be checking the UZR leaderboard before voting but they should have enough common baseball knowledge and perceptive abilities to see that Jeter roamed short like a constipated old lady.
I would suggest the voting should go to somebody else but who? The fans vote everything on popularity. And so do the baseball writers, for that matter. I'm starting to think they should just come up with some sort of Sabermetric formula and skip voting all together.