Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Formal Apology to Ol' Girl Parts

Dear Ol' Girl Parts (aka Cole Hamels),

I write to you this letter with the intent of formally and publicly apologizing to you for past ridicule and slander. You, Mr. Hamels, deserve nothing but admiration and praise from the fans of Philadelphia and I sir was negligent and counteractive of said praise. As a 26 year old man you are looking to lead The City of Brotherly Love's team back to the World Series for a third consecutive season and for that I and every Phillies fan are eternally grateful.

Of course there has been bumps along this illustrious path. 2009 for example is a year not to be forgotten. A year in which the Phils made it back to meaningful baseball in October, but also a year in which you were mediocre and hampered the team at times. As a former #1 pick many expected more from you, especially following your brilliance of the 2008 campaign. Yet, you openly sulked on the mound, shied away from the postseason limelight, and left many wondering if you had it in you to live up to our lofty expectations.

Live up to expectations you have! The 2010 season is becoming your best yet and with more run support from your teammates you would own more victories and be in contention for the Cy Young Award. Accolades aren't your motivation though, winning is. And winning is exactly what you've been helping this team do all season long. I respect you, I am a fan of you, and I am proud to have you don the uniform of the only team I've ever loved. Thank you Cole Hamels for being who you are, and who you are is awesome. Your high-pitched voice, boyish smile, laid-back California demeanor, and long flowing hair are always welcome in this town.

Please take this as a token of humility and regret for my prior transgressions and graciously grant me forgiveness.

Forever Yours,
GM-Carson

PS- tell Heidi I said "Hi".

26 comments:

GM-Carson said...

Where the eff you at now Sir Alden?!

Matty said...

He really had that "get it done" look on his face in last night's game. He was focused.

SirAlden said...

"Forever Yours"

Nice touch. Now stick to it.

SirAlden said...

"It takes a tough man to fuck a frozen chicken" - Frank Perdue

Yes GM-Carson you did it.

SirAlden said...

As for 2009. Take a look at the number of innings Ol' King Cole pitched in 2009 vs. 2008 giving us the World Series and MVP Performance.

Take a look at what happened the next year to Curt Shilling when he single-handedly willed us through the long dominant Braves and into the World Series against Toronto. Who knows what might have happened if there was a Game 7.

Both Schilling in '93 and Hamels in '08 sacrificed '94 and '09 for us and our unforgiving fan base.

Just wait to 2011 when Cy Young Winner for 2010 Roy Halladay's arm reacts to overuse and 300+ innings. It is already happening over the last few starts.

SirAlden said...

Where the eff am I?

I am fighting for my life and currently behind Job's Rum going into game 3 day of the 2010 - WSBGM's Fantasy League World Series with the Dick Allen Thumpers.

SirAlden said...

At least I think I Won the Make a Caption Contest for Cholly at the 700 Level.

http://www.the700level.com/2010/09/caption-this-charlie-draws-on-the-ump.html

Frank said...

SirAlden's point about workload and IP is an excellent one.

You can add CC Sabatthia running out of gas versus the Phillies in the NLDS a few years back. His IP the previous campaign(s) added up. It consistently happens. AJ Burnett was never the same. Carl Pavano.

GM-Carson said...

Sir Alden's point is a good one, but is it correct?

Cole Hamels lack of preparation for last season is well documented. He spent the '08 offseason basking in his new found fame from his WS MVP...not that I can really blame him for that, he deserved all the attention. However, it did come at the cost of not having his mind and body ready for the 2009 season.

Lake Fred said...

I, too, am guilty of ragging on Cole and poking fun at him in the past. I no longer engage in such disrectful activity. I, too, apologize to Cole.

ripjgarcia said...

You don't think you might have been able to combine some of those 5 posts into 1 or 2 Sir Alden?

Like this:

In other news it is time to stop rooting for the Gnats. They did a nice job against Atlanta though.

GM-Carson said...

Braves losing again today is big. With Halladay on the mound against some Marlins trash it's time to go 3 up.

furiousBall said...

i just farted

Preserve Jon said...

Bravos are fading like battleship grey.

Bob D said...

I hope there is no fade next year because Hamels, Holliday, and Oswalt are all pushing it thru many innings this year.

But next year will it be 'what have you done for me lately?'

Bob D said...

Wow, Kyle Drabek will be making his ML debut tonight for Toronto

ripjgarcia said...

Is it me or has Halladay lost some of the luster he had?

Preserve Jon said...

I'm also slightly concerned about Halladay. He's probably a little gassed. I have full faith he'll be prepared come October.

This team looks great. Three game lead over the Braves. By the time they leave Philly next week, the division will be all but wrapped up

Aaron said...

Good lord Lidge..........seriously

And what the hell is charlie doing bringing lidge in coming off a sore elbow and having pitched yesterday with a 6 run lead???????

Bob D said...

Aaron, I agree. Madson, Durbin and Lidge should not have been in there. Baez, Contreras, Bastardo, Romero, Zagurski should have been in there instead

ACSmitty79 said...

Im not apologizing for bashing cole when he sucked. He sucked! I said what i saw. I never advocated trading him or cutting him or anything like that. So no apologies are necessary imo.

Dr. Steve said...

I believe innings pitched is a myth and it has to do with preparation and training over anything.

GM-Carson said...

I was apologizing for calling Hamels unflattering names- like vagina and what not. He deserved ridicule though, because he was bad a lot of the time in '09.

Anyway, on Halladay. Don't worry. His "not so good days" are still better than most other pitchers "good days". He'll be fine. Cliff Lee had worse struggles at the end of th last season and he bounced back beautifully in the postseason.

On to the bullpen use- what the hell?! Lidge above all should have not been in the game last night. Pointless. He looked horrible and his fragile psyche likely too a big hit. Madson...why? Contreras was the obvious pick there. Manuel really just doesn't get it sometimes.

Bob D said...

He states he wants to keep them sharp ie: wants them to throw everyday or until thier arms fall off

GM-Carson said...

Keep them sharp? Yeah, that worked out great with Lidge last night didn't it. Stupid.

Preserve Jon said...

I think Lidge needed the work. He'd pitched once in the past week plus, no?

I was actually ok with using him there, with today being an off day.

A lack of adrenaline, poor situation for his use, and a tight strike zone combined to sink Lidge. What really concerned me was that the Marlins weren't chasing his slider. It looked like there was a 10 mph difference between his slider and fastball, but apparently the batters were able to pick it up out of his hand. That seems to be his problem sometimes.