[This recap was originally scheduled for Monday but computer problems delayed it to today. And it's a good thing because with all the champagne that was sprayed around the WSBGMs home office last night, neither one of us are fit to blog today. So, enjoy the stylings of Andy Martino and we'll be back tomorrow. - Corey]
Hello cretins, it’s me, Andy Martino, back for another weekend wrap-up. I hope you enjoyed my interview posted here on Friday. I have to admit, I didn’t actually answer those questions. My dog did. It’s not that my dog can talk, it’s just that people in the New York area are so evolved that we can telepathically communicate with animals. (So if any of you Phillies fans want to know what you girlfriend is saying, I can help. Oh, snap!) I figured that the donkeys that write this blog and the slugs that read it would actually enjoy the perspective of the dog of a world class baseball beat writer who writes ABOUT the Mets. Remember, I don’t write for them, I write ABOUT them. Granted, we have a totally symbiotic relationship where the Mets give me a place to watch the game, stacks of information I can rely upon if I get lazy, food, access to the players, etc. and we (myself and the newspaper) give the Mets daily publicity on print, internet and television. And if I was ever to be completely honest and write about all the negative aspects of Mets baseball and it’s management, I’m sure I would be fired because the paper couldn’t afford to lose their access. So although it behooves me to write for the Mets and not against them, it’s obvious I don’t write for them because they don’t directly pay me. Get it, idiots?
Anyways, on to baseball.
Friday – I love words. I make my living with words. Usually there is no substitution for beautiful prose. But sometimes the old adage of a picture’s worth is true, like Friday night. Is there anything more emblematic of the arrogant, barbaric Phillies than this play?
Sickening. The thought that Francisco Rodriguez sits in prison like a modern-day Hurricane Carter, incarcerated on innuendo and flimsy evidence obviously due to his race and despite his greatness, while a real criminal, Chase Utley, walks free is more than this writer can bear. Why was this violent criminal not charged with a crime? Assault with intent to cause bodily harm? Absolutely. Yet the good ol’ boy network of criminal justice ignores it and chooses to punish text messages from a grieving heart merely trying to save the relationship with his one true love. The only thing criminal about that is the blatant injustice.
Saturday – Please read my article in the Sunday Daily News concerning my thought about Saturday night’s game. But for those of you who struggle to read that many words, I’ll summarize:
Carlos Beltran literally risked his surgically repaired limb in a valiant attempt at retribution by sliding hard into second base. Although he did not to make contact with any Phillies middle infielder, the message was clear – “Right or wrong, the Mets will continue to fail at everything they do.”
After the game, Beltran commented that Utley had “crossed the line” when he tried to “hurt somebody” and therefore he “felt like it was time for[him] to do the same thing he did - slide hard and try to hit somebody.” In the article, I described Utley’s play at being “True to his team's arrogant and successful persona.” Beltran’s play and comments then would be true to his teams persona – hypocritically righteous and ineffective (with the emphasis on righteous...)
Sunday – The Mets showed the fans of Philadelphia how baseball is supposed to be played, with grace, skill and class. I’m sure the fans were confused to see that their hero’s typical display of barbarism did not yield positive results. David Wright, Carlos Beltran and Pat Misch combined to keep the cork in the champagne to the relief of all level-headed, couth baseball fans in the country.
Season Overview – This is my last chance to write for you, dear Phillies fans. I thank the guys at this blog for giving me the opportunity to enlighten your pathetic lives. And please thank the New Yorker that reads this blog to you, you illiterate simpletons. I’ll leave you with this one final thought:
The Phillies played all year with their typical arrogant condescendence. And they might be going to the playoffs for the fourth successive season, but they are doing so at the sake of baseball. The Mets, on the other hand, might be going nowhere fast, but at least their doing it the right way.