Thursday, September 30, 2010

Random Off-Day Picture

So what is the point with this picture? Nothing. I just think it's funny and there really isn't much else to talk about until the playoffs start. Except:

- Polanco got another cortisone shot in the elbow. Polanco's problem is he's getting shots of the wrong steroid. When Barry Bonds had a sore elbow, he didn't get cortisone shots. He wrapped a giant arm-pad on and got a few shots of Winstrol or testosterone. Allegedly...

- Is everyone ready for another Vance Worley start on Sunday?

- Who would you rather have the Phillies play in the first round, Cincy or San Diego? Talk amongst yourselves.

- Jimmy Rollins owns part of a Justin Bieber song. Follow the link to listen to the song if you like the sound of a teenage lesbian boy singing nursery rhymes to girls he obviously has not interest in. That just happens to be my favorite genre...

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Writer's Block

Last night's game didn't really matter so I'm not even going to bother bitching about Jose Contreras' 2000th walkoff homerun allowed. Instead I'm going to look back over the past week of WSBGMs comments section.

September 28th-
I have to admit, I'm fighting a little complacency now that we're in for the fourth straight year. I'm not nearly as excited this year.

It also seemed that way for the on-field celebration. Only Polanco was jumping up and down like a Mexican jumping bean. There's still work to be done and the team knows it. There's something to be said for that. I can remember watching the Yankees teams celebrate during their late 90s early 2000s run and I always thought they looked rather subdued and business like. It looked like entitlement from the outside. I hated it. Now that I'm a fan of a team celebrating in the same manner. I see that it wasn't entitlement, it was confidence. Good work fellas.

This was the hardest road to hoe since 2007, no question about it. Barring 5 straight losses, the team will be rewarded with homefield throughout the playoffs. The road to the World Series trophy comes through Philadelphia.
~Preserve Jon

September 27th-
Pat Gillick is a Genius.
~Sir Alden

September 26th-
You called him 'old girl parts' and jinxed him Corey. All your fault all season long. The Phillies did not score a run for Hamels in 4 starts against the Mets. Keep it up Corey...
~Sir Alden

I'm still worried about this offense though. If they can't hit Pat f'n Misch, how the hell are they supposed to hit the Giants or Padres starters?

September 24th-
You should have asked him if he's a little anxious with the cold months approaching, you know... probably makes him apprehensive since he sits when he pees.
~Furious Ball (in regards to the Andy Martino interview)

September 22nd-
And I was bored so I looked up Madson at Baseball Reference. He has not given up an earned run since August 23 and prior to that no earned runs past July 29. Since that July day he has 31 IP, 0.58 ERA and .87 WHIP and 36 Ks. Then I got more bored. Since that same day the three-headed monster in our rotation has an ERA of 2.33 with a .97 WHIP. And Lidge. 2.14 ERA, .95 WHIP, 22 Ks in 21 innings. Just impressive.
~RIP J Garcia

September 21st-
Spandexdouchenugget. I guarantee I will use that phrase at least once in my time left on Earth.
~RIP J Garcia

The Phillies organization should stop being so concerned about the media and the hoopla about someone being tazered. When someone runs out on the field, the rules should be that all bets are off, and you are getting what's coming to you, no questioned asked. Period.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Andy Martino's Weekend Recap

[This recap was originally scheduled for Monday but computer problems delayed it to today. And it's a good thing because with all the champagne that was sprayed around the WSBGMs home office last night, neither one of us are fit to blog today. So, enjoy the stylings of Andy Martino and we'll be back tomorrow. - Corey]

Hello cretins, it’s me, Andy Martino, back for another weekend wrap-up. I hope you enjoyed my interview posted here on Friday. I have to admit, I didn’t actually answer those questions. My dog did. It’s not that my dog can talk, it’s just that people in the New York area are so evolved that we can telepathically communicate with animals. (So if any of you Phillies fans want to know what you girlfriend is saying, I can help. Oh, snap!) I figured that the donkeys that write this blog and the slugs that read it would actually enjoy the perspective of the dog of a world class baseball beat writer who writes ABOUT the Mets. Remember, I don’t write for them, I write ABOUT them. Granted, we have a totally symbiotic relationship where the Mets give me a place to watch the game, stacks of information I can rely upon if I get lazy, food, access to the players, etc. and we (myself and the newspaper) give the Mets daily publicity on print, internet and television. And if I was ever to be completely honest and write about all the negative aspects of Mets baseball and it’s management, I’m sure I would be fired because the paper couldn’t afford to lose their access. So although it behooves me to write for the Mets and not against them, it’s obvious I don’t write for them because they don’t directly pay me. Get it, idiots?

Anyways, on to baseball.

Friday – I love words. I make my living with words. Usually there is no substitution for beautiful prose. But sometimes the old adage of a picture’s worth is true, like Friday night. Is there anything more emblematic of the arrogant, barbaric Phillies than this play?

Sickening. The thought that Francisco Rodriguez sits in prison like a modern-day Hurricane Carter, incarcerated on innuendo and flimsy evidence obviously due to his race and despite his greatness, while a real criminal, Chase Utley, walks free is more than this writer can bear. Why was this violent criminal not charged with a crime? Assault with intent to cause bodily harm? Absolutely. Yet the good ol’ boy network of criminal justice ignores it and chooses to punish text messages from a grieving heart merely trying to save the relationship with his one true love. The only thing criminal about that is the blatant injustice.

Saturday – Please read my article in the Sunday Daily News concerning my thought about Saturday night’s game. But for those of you who struggle to read that many words, I’ll summarize:

Carlos Beltran literally risked his surgically repaired limb in a valiant attempt at retribution by sliding hard into second base. Although he did not to make contact with any Phillies middle infielder, the message was clear – “Right or wrong, the Mets will continue to fail at everything they do.”

After the game, Beltran commented that Utley had “crossed the line” when he tried to “hurt somebody” and therefore he “felt like it was time for[him] to do the same thing he did - slide hard and try to hit somebody.” In the article, I described Utley’s play at being “True to his team's arrogant and successful persona.” Beltran’s play and comments then would be true to his teams persona – hypocritically righteous and ineffective (with the emphasis on righteous...)

Sunday – The Mets showed the fans of Philadelphia how baseball is supposed to be played, with grace, skill and class. I’m sure the fans were confused to see that their hero’s typical display of barbarism did not yield positive results. David Wright, Carlos Beltran and Pat Misch combined to keep the cork in the champagne to the relief of all level-headed, couth baseball fans in the country.

Season Overview – This is my last chance to write for you, dear Phillies fans. I thank the guys at this blog for giving me the opportunity to enlighten your pathetic lives. And please thank the New Yorker that reads this blog to you, you illiterate simpletons. I’ll leave you with this one final thought:

The Phillies played all year with their typical arrogant condescendence. And they might be going to the playoffs for the fourth successive season, but they are doing so at the sake of baseball. The Mets, on the other hand, might be going nowhere fast, but at least their doing it the right way.

Monday, September 27, 2010

In Depth Philly/DC Series Preview

Venue: Citizens Bank Park South (aka Nationals Park)
Good Guys: Philadelphia Phillies 93-63 1st Place
Bad Guys: Washington Nationals 67-89 Last Place

Game 1: Roy Halladay vs. John Lannan
(20-10, 2.53, 1.07) (8-7, 4.58, 1.57)
Reason the Phils Win: Some dipshits actually think Adam Wainwright deserves the Cy Young. Wrong. Doc seals the deal tonight with win #21 while clinching the NL East division championship for the 4th straight year. Oh, Utley is still peeved about that broken wrist too. He intends to break some faces in the rightfield stands with batted balls. Hello 4-peat.
Reason the Gnats win: None.

Game 2: Roy Oswalt vs. Jason Marquis
(13-13, 2.80, 1.03) (2-9, 7.18, 1.75)
Reason the Phils Win: Roy Oswalt has had a winning record in all 9 of his seasons previous to this year. Why stop now? Also, Marquis is about as hittable as they get, more so than Tina to Ike.
Reason the Gnats Win: Again, none.

Game 3: Joe Blanton vs. Ross Detwiler
(8-6, 4.94, 1.42) (1-2, 2.52, 1.56)
Reason the Phils Win: GI Joe finally got his era below 5 and he wants to keep it that way.
Reason the Gnats Win: For the last time, none!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Special Edition of The Howard

Last evening on the 25th of September, Minnesota Twins' thirdbaseman Danny Valencia committed the first Double Howard. 2 errors, 2 homeruns, and 2 strikeouts in the same game. Quite the accomplishment. Fantastic. I was so overjoyed by this that I had to give Mr. Valencia his own post on a Phillies blog and nearly awarded him with 2 Howards for the same game...nearly. The 2010 Year Of The Howard is almost over with only a week left to play in the regular season, and Ryan Howard and Mark Reynolds sit atop the standings with 5 Howards apiece. You best be rootin' for The Big Piece to notch another one this season to claim sole position of what is rightfully his...that and Howards equal wins for the Phillies.

Bad Series:
Hamels was bad. Madson was bad. Durbin was bad, which made KK look bad. The offense was bad. Really, it was a letdown. The Phils could have wrapped everything up this weekend, but instead squandered the opportunity. I'd bitch more, but they are fresh off an 11 game win streak, so I'll be easy on them...for today.

Sunday Rundown

Is there something wrong with Chad Durbin?

Last night esteemed commenter "ripjerrygarcia" wondered if his arm has fallen off again.

Then Carson dropped this line on Bookface - "I think we need to hold a funeral for Chad Durbin's arm. It has officially died."

Okay, since I don't actually watch the games anymore (I learned from the stats geeks that watching is completely over-rated and that everything we need to know about baseball is in the box score...) I figured I better pour over some stats. Truth in numbers, bitches.

ERA by month:
Apr - 2.61
May - 2.77
Jun - 4.50
Jul - 4.91
Aug - 3.07
Sep - 7.27

That doesn't look so good. But, over his last eight appearances, his ERA is only 3.37 (2 ER in 5.1 innings.) Also, he's apparently had some bad luck, too. His BABIP this month is .384.

Conclusion - I have no idea. And I refuse to comment on how he looks because that doesn't mean anything, just ask MLB scouts, who do most of their work in the basement of CBP comparing the VORPs of high school players...
Sunday Clinch Day?
Philles: Ol' Girl Parts v. Pat Misch.
Braves: Beachy v. Livan Hernandez

The Braves trail the season series with the Gnats 9-8. At this point in the Gnats history, if you lose a season series to them, you should be ineligible for the playoffs.
Best TV Day of the Year?
11:00 - Newcastle v. Stoke
1:00 NFL RedZone
1:30 Phillies (clinch Division???)
4:00 Eagles v. Jax
7:00-9:00 Nothing...
9:00 Boardwalk Empire
10:30 Eastbound and Down

Saturday, September 25, 2010

To Do List, Clinch? & Other Thoughts

To Do List:
1. Clinch the division and home field advantage.
2. Getting Jimmy Rollins 15-20 at bats before the playoffs.
3. Allow JC Romero to pitch in some tight situations against lefties.
4. Move Valdez to 3rd for a few games when J-Roll is back in the lineup to give Polly a much needed break for that busted elbow.
5. Get Schneider behind the plate, Chooch could use some R&R.
6. Gload, Francisco, and Sweeney need some ABs.

Is today the day to clinch? Braves at Washington in the afternoon (1:05)- Derek Lowe vs. Yunesky Maya. Wouldn't it be great to see the young Cuban defector pick up his 1st MLB win today? Tonight in Philly (7:05) Dillon Gee vs. Kyle Kendrick. Some how, some way, KK gets wins.

Other Thoughts:
*I love the Phillies and Chase Utley is my favorite player, but that slide was unnecessary and dirty. If he gets hit tomorrow in the back, he should just trot down to 1st and let bygones be bygones. No need for retaliation from the Phils or a bench clearing brawl. Be smart, the Mets have nothing to lose but the Phillies have everything to lose with the playoffs lurking.

*The Mets pinch runner timeout call in the 9th while Lidge was in the stretch was just silly. Lidge said, "That's an interesting freeze-the-kicker type move, I guess. I actually haven't seen that done in baseball. Hopefully that won't be a trend. Hopefully that's a once-in-a-blue-moon kind of thing." Whatever, it didn't work. Mets suck.

*Riding an 11 game winning streak the Phillies currently own the best record in baseball 93-61. My preseason prediction of 98 victories might happen after all.

*Pedro Feliz may be the worst player in the Majors this season. That's funny, I actually remember some people on other blogs saying that letting him go and signing Polly was a mistake. Idiots.

*The Pirates lost their 100th game of the season yesterday. Pathetic.

Friday, September 24, 2010

WSBGMs Interviews Andy Martino

Ex-Phillies beat writer turned bad guy (aka Mets scribe), Andy Martino, was kind enough to entertain an email interview with WSBGMs. He originally contacted us after our last parody of him. We effed with him a lot, but was still able to find humor in it, so that gets him some respect points in my book. Although, my book is more like a pamphlet and doesn't count for shit. Anyway, here's the real Andy Martino on We Should Be GMs for the first time.

1. In an email you wrote to us- "You have to stop thinking I write for the Mets. I cover them with no bias or emotional attachment, just as I did the Phils. They think I'm a Phillies fan in New York, and a Met fan in Philly." If you're a fan of neither team, what exactly are you then?
A reporter.

2. We Should Be GMs busted your chops pretty good in our parodies of you, why did you find them humorous?
Because I desperately crave attention of any kind.

3. The Mets are dead, so what's left to play for?
Not my problem. Ask them.

4. Does a .500 season even mean anything to the Mets at this point?
Not really.

5. What the hell happened to Jason Bay?
Citi Field is large, with fences far, far away from home plate. He's been a good, not great player in the past. His head hurts. Nice guy, though. He has perhaps the best vocabulary of any ballplayer I've met. Said "kerfuffle" once.

6. How do Mets fans truly feel about Francisco Rodriguez?
Ask them. But I suspect that many feel something like an intense, visceral dislike. Difficult to generalize how an entire group of people feels about one subject, though.

7. Can I punch Jose Reyes in the face next time he does a homerun dance?
You should see someone about that rage. Not healthy. Reyes is a good dude. His antics annoy some people- but really, I think the more pressing issue is the anger evident in your question. I worry for you, is all.

8. Currently- beard or no beard?
No beard at this time.

9. More fun team to be around- Phils or Mets?
Phillies are more fun to watch on the field. Mets are, as a group, more accessible and friendly. Either way, it's my job to deal with whatever.

10. Best player to interview?
On the Phillies, there are several great interviews. Rollins is incredibly insightful, although not always willing to share those insights. Werth, when he's in the mood, will blow you away with his intelligence. Brad Lidge, in addition to being the nicest man on the planet, has a wide range of interests outside sports.

As for the Mets, R.A. Dickey is smart, well-read and friendly. Wright and Reyes are very accessible for marquee players, more so than Utley and Howard. Ike Davis is funny and very grounded for a hyped rookie. All around, a friendly clubhouse.

11. If we were to run into each other after a game and went to a bar for some drinks, are you ordering- appletini, water, jack n' coke, or beer?
I usually go one beer, then a stiffer drink or two like whiskey or martini, then water, then probably some more damn work before I go to bed.

12. More hardcore fan base- Phils or Mets?
Don't really know. My job is more about dealing with players and front office, to bring information to fans. Don't interact with fans as much as I do with people connected to the teams.

Thus concludes our enlightening Q&A with Mr. Andrew Martino.

Impersonator Andy Martino Posts on WSBGMs:
*Andy Martino Game Recap I
*Andy Martino Game Recap II
*Andy Martino Weekend Wrapup I
*Andy Martino Perspective on K-Rod Allegations
*Andy Martino Weekend Wrapup II

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Who's Next?

The rest of the National League (and American League, for that matter) should take notice of what happens when the Phils lineup Doc-Colbert-Roy2 for a series. The proverbial gauntlet has been thrown down and Phils now await a new challenger. Who's next?

The Best

Magic- #6.
Death Blow- Roy Oswalt vs. Tommy Hanson
Be confident.

*Thanks to reader Michael for the email/link.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Honorable Hamels, Red Idiot & Minor Champs

Honorable Hamels:
Cole Hamels = Ol' Girl Parts? Ehh, not so much. The man has been amazing since the All-Star break. Better than Roy Oswalt and better than Roy Halladay...not that they've been slouches by any measure. He's been tough and has looked tough (not that looks win games). Last night was a huge game and he pitched brilliantly. King Cole is primed for the playoffs. Over his past 5 starts- 5 wins and a 0.49 ERA. Since July 10th, 6-3 with a 1.74 ERA. Just imagine if the Phils routinely scored this guy some runs.

Red Idiot:
Players, Coaches, Ball Girls, Umps, and Grounds Crew belong on the field. Douchenuggets in a red spandex body suit do not. Mad props to Braves' Matt Diaz with the take down.

Minor League Champs:

The Lakewood BlueClaws are the Single-A Sally League champions for the second consecutive season. The Phils minor league system has produced enough quality prospects over the past few seasons that's allowed them to trade for Joe Blanton, Cliff Lee, Roy Halladay, and Roy Oswalt and almost everyone of those prospects came through Lakewood.

*The Phils now have 3 starting pitchers with ERAs below 3 (The Big 3). As Todd Zolecki put it, "In the past, they might have said, 'Well, we've got Cole Hamels out of the way. Now we can get after (insert names here) tomorrow and Wednesday.' Except this time (insert names here) are Roy Halladay and Roy Oswalt."

*Hey, Brad Lidge is still pretty good. He's converted 14 of his last 15 save opportunities and is boasting a 0.91 during that span.

*Doc Halladay goes for win #20 tonight. That's friggin' exciting!

Spiderman Goes Down (with Manuel comments)

Where's a cop with a taser when you need one? Oh yeah, they aren't allowed on the field after the last jerk was taken down with the zap gun. Instead we have to watch a bunch of untrained idiots unsuccessfully chase these losers around. Memo to the Phillies: stop the PC bullshit and put a cop with a weapon in the outfield so these morons can be stopped immediately.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Brave New World & Phinal Phantasy

3 game lead in the NL East. 3 games against the 2nd place Braves starting tonight in Philly. Distance is either increased, decreased, or eliminated altogether. Phils are an awesome home team (50-28) and the Braves are a poor road team (34-41). With the Big 3 going for Philadelphia a sweep is what the Phillies are gunning for. However, Atlanta is a worthy opponent and won't go away quietly.

Monday- Cole Hamels vs. Jair Jurrjens
(11-10, 3.01, 1.16) (7-6, 4.64, 1.39)
Tuesday- Roy Halladay vs. Mike Minor
(19-10, 2.49, 1.07) (3-1, 5.84, 1.43)
Wednesday- Roy Oswalt vs. Tommy Hanson
(13-13, 2.90, 1.05) (10-11, 3.62, 1.20)

*Jimmy Rollins could be in the lineup tonight, putting the Phillies at full stength.

*Hamels has pitched some of his worst games this season against the Braves but Halladay has been remarkable allowing only 1 run in 18 innings.

*Rookie Mike Minor started off hot for Atlanta, but has been very bad his last few outings (3 starts, 14 ip, 14 er). Hanson and Jurrjens have been stumbling too.

Phinal Phantasy:
WSBGMs Phantasy League 4 for baseball concluded yesterday. After a grueling 24 week schedule that saw nearly 400 player transactions it has ended and Jobu's Rum takes home the virtual trophy...sorry no cash payout. Thanks to all that participated, and remember there's always next year.

1. Jobu's Rum
2. Dick Allen Thumpers (Sir Alden)
3. Lidge Ledge Leapers (GM-Carson)
4. Harry Kalas Cialis (Corey)
5. 7 Month Halladay
6. Papelboners
7. Bumpin' Utleys
8. Old Town Browns
9. Briwiley
10. SheLikesMySizemore
11. Roman Halladay
12. Phighting Phishes
13. Werth's Beard
14. Thanks Bill Buckner
15. Westville Beagles
16. Yuengling Lagers

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Cuban Party

From L-R: Jose Contreras, Danys Baez, Fidel Castro, Mark Cuban (WTF is he doing there?), Livan Hernandez and Yunesky Maya.

The countrymen of Cuba are gonna have a party in Philly today. Rookie Maya gets the start for the Nationals while his teammate Livan cheers him on. In the other clubhouse are Contreras and Baez hoping to puff on a big celebratory Cuban cigar following a Phils victory.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

The Big 3

The Big 3: Roy Halladay, Cole Hamels & Roy Oswalt
2010: 37-21, 499 ip, 102 bb, 472 k, 2.62 ERA, 1.09 WHIP.

*Big 3 Stooges created by Corey

Friday, September 17, 2010

The Time Is Now

Two months ago many Phillies fans, namely myself, didn't think the team would be in the place they are now- 1st in the NL East with best record in the National League. Players got healthy, The Big 3 has dazzled, Madson & Lidge have improved, and the bats have slowly come back to life. Now with a 3 game lead over the struggling Braves, it's time to step on their neck and break it leaving them wheelchair bound for the rest of the season.

This weekend the Phils have the Nationals at home and the Braves are in New York to face the Mets. Friday- Roy Oswalt vs. Jason Marquis & Tommy Hanson vs. Jonathan Niese, Saturday- Kyle Kendrick vs. Jordan Zimmermann & Tim Hudson vs. Dillon Gee, and Sunday- Joe Blanton vs. Yunesky Maya & Derek Lowe vs. RA Dickey. Aside from Roy-2's start tonight the pitching matchups are pretty even in the Phils series. Same can be said for the Braves/Mets series, because the Mets hurlers are pitching well while the Braves have been trending downward. Putting more distance between themselves and the Braves is the goal, and then next week whack 'em over the head with the Big 3, devastating their NL East Division Champ aspirations.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Off Day Schadenfreude

Phils lead the East by three. It's finally "hitting season." The three-headed ace is dominating. So many great things to talk about...but instead, I'd rather point out the September performance of the pathetic Braves. Their misery is my happiness.

Look at this 6-9 record:

How about some of their pitchers this month:
Tim Hudson - 0-3, 6.38 ERA
Jair Jurrjens - 1-2, 6.32 ERA
Kenshin Kawakami - 0-1, 13.5 ERA
Mike Minor - 0-1, 9.00 ERA

And that Derek Lee trade:
September stats - .238-1-5

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Formal Apology to Ol' Girl Parts

Dear Ol' Girl Parts (aka Cole Hamels),

I write to you this letter with the intent of formally and publicly apologizing to you for past ridicule and slander. You, Mr. Hamels, deserve nothing but admiration and praise from the fans of Philadelphia and I sir was negligent and counteractive of said praise. As a 26 year old man you are looking to lead The City of Brotherly Love's team back to the World Series for a third consecutive season and for that I and every Phillies fan are eternally grateful.

Of course there has been bumps along this illustrious path. 2009 for example is a year not to be forgotten. A year in which the Phils made it back to meaningful baseball in October, but also a year in which you were mediocre and hampered the team at times. As a former #1 pick many expected more from you, especially following your brilliance of the 2008 campaign. Yet, you openly sulked on the mound, shied away from the postseason limelight, and left many wondering if you had it in you to live up to our lofty expectations.

Live up to expectations you have! The 2010 season is becoming your best yet and with more run support from your teammates you would own more victories and be in contention for the Cy Young Award. Accolades aren't your motivation though, winning is. And winning is exactly what you've been helping this team do all season long. I respect you, I am a fan of you, and I am proud to have you don the uniform of the only team I've ever loved. Thank you Cole Hamels for being who you are, and who you are is awesome. Your high-pitched voice, boyish smile, laid-back California demeanor, and long flowing hair are always welcome in this town.

Please take this as a token of humility and regret for my prior transgressions and graciously grant me forgiveness.

Forever Yours,

PS- tell Heidi I said "Hi".

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

When I Was 17...

145 games played, 17 remain. After the series opening win against the Marlins the Phillies record stands at 84-61, a .579 winning percentage, putting them on pace for 94 victories. Will 94 be enough? Hard to say, I hope and think yes. However, at the beginning of the season I predicted 98, which means they would have to go 14-3 the rest of the way. Not likely, but would guarantee playoffs. Get it done fellas, get it done!

Remaining Schedule- 6 with Washington, the Mets for 3, 6 with Atlanta, and 2 with the Marlins.
When I was seventeen
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for small town girls
And soft summer nights
Wed hide from the lights
On the village green
When I was seventeen
~Frank Sinatra

*Is Carlos Ruiz the team MVP? I think so. Great offensive output (near .300 avg and .400 ob %) from a catcher and handles the pitching staff with a tough but tender hand.

*Wilson Valdez is not of the caliber of MLB starting infielder, but he sure is a fine utility man. This is the first UTL for the Phils that's been able to handle the stick and the mitt since Tomas Perez back in 2003.

*5 straight seasons of 100+ RBI for Ryan Howard. WSBGMs may not be a fan of his contract, but we are a fan of his production.

*Please discontinue use of David Herndon. Opposition batting about .330 off him.

*Brian Bocock got an at bat. This saddens me.

*How the hell does Greg Dobbs have 5 homeruns?

Monday, September 13, 2010

The Eagles For The Phillies Fan

Like most Americans I spent the weekend watching football and not baseball. So I can’t write about the Phillies today. Instead, I’m going to write about the Eagles. But I’m going to put all Eagles info into Phillies/baseball context to help all of you baseball-only readers.

The Eagles: Fourth and 1…shotgun…run with the quarterback without a lead fullback.
In baseball: Think of the worst offensive strategy, like bunting with two outs or pinch-hitting Greg Dobbs.

The Eagles: Linebacker Stewart Bradley got knocked so silly he couldn’t even walk off of the field, instead he was stumbling around in a concussive stupor. However, he was back in the game the next defensive series.
In baseball: After Stephen Strasburg throws a pitch and clutches his forearm in pain, manager Jim Riggleman goes to mound and tell the young hurler, “Shake it off kid. Get back on the mound.”

The Eagles: FB Leonard Weaver and C Jamal Jackson suffer season ending injuries.
In baseball: I don’t know if you need to be “strong up the middle” in football, but losing these players would be like the Phillies playing the majority of the season with Wilson Valdez and Jaun Castro in the lineup…

The Eagles: After the game, dog-torturer Mike Vick says, "I feel like if I had been out there for four quarters, maybe we would have had a chance to win the game."
In baseball: Imagine Ryan Madson saying this after Brad Lidge blows a save, “I feel like we would have won if I had pitched the ninth inning.”

The Eagles: Kevin Kolb goes 5-10 for 24 yards in an obviously over-conservative game plan with three of those passes coming post-concussion. Despite the small sample size, many Eagles fans are ready to throw in the towel on Kolb’s career and the Birds’ season.
In baseball: Giving up on Ol’ Girl Parts after a few starts. Giving up on the Phillies when they are not in first place in July.

The Eagles: Eagles lose to the Packers.
In baseball: This is like losing to the Yankees. Sure, it stinks. But don’t you expect to lose to the best team?

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Fuqua Makes A Deal

Charlie Manuel, on the show "Let's Make A Deal":

Wayne Brady: Okay, Charlie, you can have this bag of garbage or what's behind door number one.
Fuqua: I'll take the garbage.
Wayne Brady: But, it's garbage?
Fuqua: Yeah, but there could be smellier garbage or even two bags of garbage behind the door. At least with this one bag of garbage, I know what I have.

Now, replace "garbage" with "Kyle Kendrick" and "door number one" with "Vance Worley" and you get the thought process behind picking today's starter.

Kendrick is 1-3 with and ERA over seven (SEVEN!) in his last four. Worley....who knows. I guess he could be smellier garbage. We'll never know.

Garbage v. Pelfrey, Shiti Field, 4:05, FOX has television.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Phillies Phlashback Phriday: September 10th 1997

The year was 1997 and the Phillies were in last place with a 58-84 record (almost the complete opposite of this season's 81-60 record). Terry Francona was the manager and times in Veterans Stadium were dismal. Many fans are happy that both Francona and the Vet are long gone in Philly. The lineup was filled with a bunch on nothings, never-weres, and has-beens, aside from Rock-n-Rolen and Lieby. The pitching staff, just as bad, with Matt Beech being the loser of this affair to the Mets 10-2.

1. Rex Hudler/CF
2. Mickey Morandini/2B
3. Kevin Jordan/1B
4. Scott Rolen/3B
5. Mike Lieberthal/C
6. Tony Baron/RF
7. Ruben Amaro/LF
8. Desi Relaford/SS
9. Matt Beech/SP

Notes: Ambidextrous pitcher Greg Harris pitched in relief, Cory Lidle picked up his 9th hold for the Mets, and Mike Robertson (who I don't remember) pinch-hit and got beaned.

Present Day:
Happy days are here again in Philadelphia with the Phils holding a 1 game lead in the NL East over the Braves. 3 game series with the Mets starts tonight in Queens, with Roy Halladay against Jenrry Mejia. Mejia is a spry 20 year old live-armed righty that the Phils need to put in his place immediately. Know your role kid- Utley & Howard punching bag.

Elsewhere- Chris Carpenter/STL vs. Mike Minor/ATL and Jonathan Sanchez/SFG vs. Clayton Richard/SDP.

Stuff- Nate Robertson was released, thank God! Brad Lidge and Jimmy Rollins are day-to-day with minor injuries, with both possibly being available tonight. Placido Polanco is playing with a broken elbow and needs offseason surgery. It's quite ballsy and amazing the way he's been able to play and produce through the injury/pain this season.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Off Day: Root for the Cardinals

The Phillies are in first place and have the best record in the National League. That could all change tonight and the Phils have no control over it. After playing 24 games in 23 days they finally get a day off to recoup and recharge. In the meantime the Braves host the plummeting Cardinals with an A+ match-up of Jair Jurrjens versus Adam Wainwright. Atlanta is only a half game behind the Phils and with a win tonight would draw even with them in the NL East at 81-60. However, a loss would mean a full game in the standings. Still not a lot of wiggle room, but better than tied for first. So...Go Cardinals Go!!!

Other Stuff:
*There's been a lot of talk about the Phils lining up Halladay, Oswalt, and Hamels to pitch against the Braves in both 3 game series remaining with them this season and to do so they would have to go to a 4-man rotation some of the time. However, guys would still get their full days of rest, so it's not like it would alter their routine. When a 5th starter is needed Manuel could choose from Vance Worley or Kyle Kendrick (I pray to God it's not Nate Robertson!). Zolecki does a nice job breaking down the schedule on The Zo Zone.

*For as inconsistent and pathetic that the Phillies offense has been at times during the season they are still ranked 5th in the National League and are only 2 runs behind the #2 team. Scoring is down all over baseball in The Year of the Pitcher Part Deux.

*The Phillies pitching staff has only issued 357 walks this season and are 2nd in the Majors in that category (Twins are 1st). That's about 175 less free passes than the Giants have gifted the opposition.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Rollins Hurt for the 37th Time this Year

Okay, the number is probably closer to 25. Seriously, it seems Jimmy Rollins just can't stay healthy this season. He left tonight's game with a tight right hammy. He'll be listed the customary day-to-day, but who really knows what that means. Fans wonder the cause of the offensive inconsistency. Well, look no farther than the injury report on our Little Engine That Could (aka J-Roll). Wilson Valdez is the substitute, meaning Jimmy better get some miracle cream rubbed on that flat tire of his and get suited up by the weekend.

Meanwhile, Phils are up 9-0. Most shocking thing- these runs are in support of Cole Hamels who went about 2 months without as much wiggle room. Seems he'll pick up his 10th win of the season and finally drop the "loser" tag due to a sub .500 record.

Oh yeah, Braves are killing the Pirates tonight. Had to be expected. Buccos taking two from them was a gift.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Boobs- On the Field and in the Stands

The Phillies are back in 1st place, and it's been a long damn time. The game itself was pretty ugly (is that an oxymoron?), but in the end the Phils won 8-7 and the Braves lost to our interstate buddies the Pirates. A half game lead never felt so good.

The Good: Victorino going deep and swiping a bag. Ibanez's near cycle, fell a double short. Polly's go-ahead single in the bottom of the 8th. Howard and J-Roll going a combined 4-7 with 4 runs scored and 3 rbi. Werth being originally benched.

The Bad: Werth being inserted into the lineup due to a Dom Brown sore quad and making a retarded unnecessary throw that scored a run for the Marlins. Utley's stupid throw to home with no shot at getting the runner, and the ball sailed about a Randy Johnson above Chooch anyway. Romero balking then walking his only batter on 4 pitches. Ryan Madson wild pitching the tying run in. They played like boobs.

Speaking of boobs...

Don't Call It A Comeback

They've been here all year...

...except they haven't seen first place since May. But all that can change tonight. With a win against the Fish and another Braves loss the Fightins will take back their rightful place atop the NL East.

Now, there are some things going against this reclamation project. First, the Braves are not likely to lose again to the lowly Pirates. Second, Ladies Love Cool Joe is pitching for the Phils. Hopefully he can rebound from his 4 inning, 10 hit abomination last outing.
Vance Worley > Kyle Kendrick
I'm done watching Kyle Kendrick. He's been really bad recently, to the tune of 2-4 and a 7.04 ERA in his last six starts. His next scheduled start is Saturday against the Mets. I say give that start to young Vance and hope for some "flash in the pan" success.
Werth to Boras
Werth is dropping his agent, Jeff Borris, and is close to signing with Scott Boras. It's not news to anyone that Werth is looking to cash in on his recent success and will be leaving the Phillies, but hiring a guy like Scott Boras just makes it official. And I'm perfectly fine with it. I'd like to see Werth stay but I can't hate on somebody trying to make money. I just hope he has a horrible 2011 season...

Monday, September 06, 2010

Getting To Know - Vance Worley

Vance Worley is making his first major league start today against the Fish. Let's take a look at how the 22 year old made it the Bigs.

High School - Worley graduated from McCatchey High School in Sacramento, Ca. He was a three-time first team All-Metro League selection and a two-time All-City pick and finished his high school pitching career with a 15-7 record.

College - After high school, Worley escaped the cows and mountains of NoCall and enrolled at Long Beach State, the Los Angeles school that produced major-leaguers Jason Giambi, Harold Reynolds, Steve Trachsel and Evan Longoria. While there, he looked like this (see pic to the right). His college career was less than spectacular (12-13, ERA around 4) but he had a solid Cape Cod campaign. The Phillies took him in the 20th round and he left The Beach after his junior season.

Minors - Worley had a great start to his professional career posting a 2.68 ERA in eleven starts in the Sally League with Lakewood. His next season was a little disappointing as his ERA soared to 5.34 in 27 starts with Reading. During that season, Carson took this picture of him, looking rather goofy and blurry. Worley bounced back in 2010, though. Between the R-Phils and the FeHams Worley's he has gone 10-7 with a tidy 3.36 ERA.

Majors - On July 24th, Worley pitched a perfect 9th inning during a blowout of the Rockies.

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Thome Hat Tip, Call-Ups & Stellar Bullpen

Hat Tip to Thome:
WSBGMs would like to congratulate slugging 40 year old Jim Thome on becoming the 9th ranked homerun hitter in MLB history. Yesterday he blasted 2 homeruns, now with 20 on the season and 584 in his career, and passed the steroid denying Mark McGwire. Frank Robinson and his 586 bombs are next on the totem pole of achievement. Thome is a class act all the way. I remember his 400th homerun in a Phils uniform and how his signing brought excitement back to the franchise. Future Hall-of-Famer in my opinion.

Paul Hoover/C, Greg Dobbs/3B/OF, and Ross Gload/1B/OF have already been summoned from the minors and reportedly Nate Robertson/LHP is next in line. Don't be surprised to see Vance Worley/RHP, Drew Carpenter/RHP, Scott Mathieson/RHP, Mike Zagurski/LHP, and John Mayberry/OF to also join the Phils for the stretch drive after their minor league seasons end within the next week. Of that group Gload is the one that is the biggest asset, but Mayberry offers some pinch hitting pop and Mathieson has quality stuff that produces strikeouts, so at least we won't have Herndon pitching 4 innings to end a game or Oswalt in the outfield.

Stellar Bullpen:
The bullpen has been a sore subject for much of the season, but the group of Ryan Madson, Brad Lidge, JC Romero, Chad Durbin, and Jose Contreras have done well lately. Even David Herndon has been serviceable. With the starting pitching doing a fine job and the bats possibly coming to life finally in the last month of the season this team is setting up for a run deep into October.

*Old Buddy/Now Enemy Randy Wolf gets the start for the Brew Crew today with Kyle Kendrick looking to secure the sweep.

Saturday, September 04, 2010

Kickoff Saturday, Cy Doc & Great Losers

Today marks the kickoff of the college football season. Personally, I am not a fan. I played 4 years of college ball getting my head bashed roughly 75 plays a game, so it lost it's appeal over the years. However, I know many of you will be glued to the televisions watching the eleventy-billion games on ESPN/ESPN2/ESPN-OCHO, whatever. Have fun rooting for your team, I'll be busy partaking of Labor Day picnic, food, games, more beer, more food, getting fatter.

Cy Doc:
Reading through a lot of early predictions for awards and I am noticing many analysts have Roy Halladay as the frontrunner for the NL Cy Young. I agree. Today he needs to shutdown the Brewers and secure himself win #17 and the Phils a chance at tying the Braves for the NL East lead. He'll be opposed by Dave Bush. Two in the bush is worth 1 in the hand...or something like that.

Other key match-ups: Travis Wood/CIN vs. Adam Wainwright/STL, Jair Jurrjens/ATL vs. Josh Johnson/FLA, and Matt Cain/SFG vs. Ted Lilly/LAD.

Great Losers:
The Phillies own the best pair of losers in the majors in the form of Cole Hamels and Roy Oswalt. Wait, what?! Losers in the sense that they have sub .500 records, that's all. Fact is, Hamels and Oswalt are having terrific seasons aside from their win-loss record. They have combined to go 19-23 with 357.2 ip, 344 k, 3.10 ERA, and 1.13 WHIP. Get these guys some runs!

*Vance Worley pitched only 1 inning in his start for Lehigh Valley last night, meaning the Phils may be leaning towards calling him up and giving him the ball in one of the games of Monday's doubleheader.