Thursday, August 19, 2010

Chooch for Cintron

Ever wonder where Carlos "Chooch" Ruiz gets all that energy to sustain the brutal heat of catching nearly every day during the scorching summer months? From an energy drink of course- Cintron Liquid Energy to be exact. Oh yeah, I'm gonna go buy a can and get blitz! Red Bull might give you wings, but this stuff apparently gives you the ability to be totally clutch. Clutch is so cooler.


*The Cardinals acquired Pedro Feliz. Yes, that Pete Happy. He's been absolutely horrible this season (.221/.555), so lets hope that trend continues and he helps Tony Larussa's crew lose rather than win.

*Brad Hawpe has been released by the Rockies and will be free to sign anywhere come Monday or Tuesday. Rumor Guru Ken Rosenthal thinks the Phils will try to grab the lefthanded hitting OF/1B.

*A long time acquaintence of Joe Torre expects him to become the New York Mets next manager.

*Ryan Howard to play in 2 rehab games, Friday with Lakewood and Saturday with Lehigh Valley. All goes well, may be activated for some Sunday delight.

*Cole Hamels and the Phillies go for the sweep tonight. Score him 5 runs and I guarantee victory.


GM-Carson said...

Braves lost to the Gnats today. The sweep is even more important now.

ripjgarcia said...

Prediction is invalidated by the homer as it is 5-0.. Hamels does not have good stuff tonight.

GM-Carson said...

What do Cole Hamels, Pink Taco, Roast Beef Curtains, Punanny, and The Vertical Lips all have in common? All nicknames for vagina.

Preserve Jon said...

I knew you wouldn't let us down Carson.

GM-Carson said...

I had to piss off Sir Alden. Hamels is his man crush. Which is cool, I'm the same way for Utley and Halladay.

SirAlden said...

Hamels is not my man crush.

You are Carson.

You are a pussy.

SirAlden said...

Roast Beef Curtains.

Boy oh Boy you learn something new every day.

Going to call J-Roll a Porch-Monkey next GM-Carson?

Way to support your team. Time to head over to Pirate Land no more rooting for the Phils.

Preserve Jon said...

Ken Rosenthal is a J/A. We don't need another lefty off the bench. Sweeney fills in ably at 1B and we've already got Gload - who is way cheaper - for our lefty 1B/OF needs.

As a side note, I was glad to see Sweeney break through with some ribbies last night. He's done nothing but hit the ball hard since he came over and had little to show for it. He's a nice addition to the bench. I don't know his contract situation, but I hope he sticks around for another year.

Preserve Jon said...

Also, are they treating Contreras with El Pulpo kid gloves or is it just me? He's thrown 2.3 innings in the last two weeks!

Maybe his 46 year old frame doesn't hold up like it used to or maybe their saving him for an '07 Tom Gordon-esque September of day-in day-out use, but I don't understand his disappearance. shows his ERA at 1.01 over his last 10 appearances - whopping 8.66 innings - dating back to July 25.

Why keep 13 pitchers on the roster for most of the past few weeks if one of your most effective relievers ends up riding the pine?

GM-Carson said...

I only called Hamels names to harass you Sir Alden. Hamels is allowed to a have a crap game every once in awhile, he was awesome for so long there. And, no I would never call J-Roll or anyone else a racist term.

Preserve Jon said...

It's awkward. It just got awkward.

Settle down there Sir Alden. Your attacks are a little too personal and a little out of line.

SirAlden said...

Roast Beef Curtains?

I know you love Cole Hamels and are plotting to take out that Heidi usurper.

You love Cole you want him to have Roast Beef Curtains and share yours with him.

SirAlden said...

World Series MVP gets a lifelong pass in my book.

Everyone still loves "Dutch".