The Mets played a smart, polite, joy-to-watch game of hardball last night but unfortunately their manners and skill could not overcome the uncouth and poorly-hygienic Phillies. And on a night where the Phillies celebrated a mullut-wearing, space-traveling, Hooters-marrying catcher, it should be no surprise that sense and dignity would fail on the baseball field.
The game was relatively uninteresting until the bottom of the eighth inning when the Phillies completely went off script and began hitting balls away from the Mets fielders. This resulted in an unseemly parade of pinstriped bastards prancing arrogantly from base to base, most of them arriving at home plate with an heir of entitlement that that surely made proletariat catcher Josh Thole nauseous.
Even new Phillie Mike Sweeney, despite being with the team only for a few days, has already become a condescending brute. In spite of an already comfortable four run lead, Sweeney violently hit a Manny Acosta speedball into left field scoring another cretin Phillies player.
Despite the bases smelling like bourgeois pride after the 8th inning, the Mets courageously scored three of their own players in the 9th. This was obviously due to Mike Hessman's valiant desire to provide the local fans with a home run baseball souvenir. Even in defeat, the Mets never stop thinking about others, do they?
The Mets still have two games left in this series [tonight, 7:05, Hamels v Santana]. Hopefully, for the sake of the universe, good will prevail over evil at least once...
~ Andy M.