Saturday, August 07, 2010

Andy Martino Game Recap

The Mets played a smart, polite, joy-to-watch game of hardball last night but unfortunately their manners and skill could not overcome the uncouth and poorly-hygienic Phillies. And on a night where the Phillies celebrated a mullut-wearing, space-traveling, Hooters-marrying catcher, it should be no surprise that sense and dignity would fail on the baseball field.

The game was relatively uninteresting until the bottom of the eighth inning when the Phillies completely went off script and began hitting balls away from the Mets fielders. This resulted in an unseemly parade of pinstriped bastards prancing arrogantly from base to base, most of them arriving at home plate with an heir of entitlement that that surely made proletariat catcher Josh Thole nauseous.

Even new Phillie Mike Sweeney, despite being with the team only for a few days, has already become a condescending brute. In spite of an already comfortable four run lead, Sweeney violently hit a Manny Acosta speedball into left field scoring another cretin Phillies player.

Despite the bases smelling like bourgeois pride after the 8th inning, the Mets courageously scored three of their own players in the 9th. This was obviously due to Mike Hessman's valiant desire to provide the local fans with a home run baseball souvenir. Even in defeat, the Mets never stop thinking about others, do they?

The Mets still have two games left in this series [tonight, 7:05, Hamels v Santana]. Hopefully, for the sake of the universe, good will prevail over evil at least once...

~ Andy M.

12 comments:

Matty said...

I was holding my breath when Chollie brought in Baez and Romero. They did not disappoint. Baez allowed two runners and Romero ensured that both scored by throwing a tater. With guys like these, no 5 run lead goes unpunished.

GM-Carson said...

Somethings tells me Andy Martino is going to end up reading this and will be thoroughly disgusted and annoyed with us. Good!

GM-Carson said...

Still think Baez should have been left in for another batter or two. Romero has been very bad recently. By the way, where the hell is Herndon? He shoulda pitched the 9th last night.

GM-Carson said...

You can thank ol' buddy Pat Burrell for knocking in the winning run over the Braves last night.

furiousBall said...

Lidge actually looked pretty good there for that appearance. I mean in a totally condescending kind of good way.

I'm handfarting with happiness today

Jeremy said...

Andy you are an F'n Homo. Nobody seemed to care that the Mets of old were crack smokin, cocaine sniffin thugs, and they ran over the NL in the late 80's. Yeah I want to go to dinner with Doc, Straw, HoJo, and G Carter and the rest of the gang.

Andrew said...

Brilliant post! Martino was the beat writer in Philly for, what, 3 months total? Nice satire!

SirAlden said...

We need One new Arm in the Bullpen.

Someone needs to go on the Fake DL for the good of the team.

Bob D said...

The bullpen other than Durbin needs to go on the fake DL. Why is Bastardo not back up here? He is dominating AAA.

Brad Lidge - fail!

Andy Martino - fail!

GM-Carson said...

Jayson Werth is a very good player, but he plays stupid. Getting thrown out at 3rd was just bad baseball.

Then having Polanco bunt in the 8th was stupid too. Polly had a better shot and getting a hit then laying down a bunt to advance the runners, because Johan's a top-notch fielder. Phils are wasting yet another Hamels gem. I'm actually going to say thing- Hamels has been unlucky.

Andrew said...

Wow. just saw the boxscore. Hamels with quite a gem and no run support??? This is what we can expect from this patchwork lineup. The past week may have been the exception to the rule. Just gotta stay in it long enough to get full strength and beat Atlanta head-to-head.

ACSmitty79 said...

was @ the game yesterday; bout jumped out the stands when Polanco bunted!! That was the game!