Friday, July 09, 2010

Time To Trade Today

Lots of news on the interweb this morning about the Evil Empire being close to getting Sir Cliff Lee.

This can't happen. If the EE gets Sir Cliff, it's over. The Yanks getting Lee would be like Chancellor Palpatine convincing Luke Skywalker to go over to the Dark Side. Might as well start making the World Series rings now. Somebody, anybody, needs to step in and get him before the EE do, although I'd prefer it if it was the Phils. And as a "Should Be GM," I already have a few trade possibilities worked out.

Phils get: Cliff Lee
Mariners get: Phillippe Aumont, Tyson Gillies, JC Ramirez
Why it works: Sure, on paper these three prospects seem rather disappointing. But the game isn't played on paper, is it? No! It's played on grass, or a grass substitute. So there's hope that their relative unsuccess in the minors will miraculously translate into stellar big league performances. It happens all the time, right? Minor league scrub turns into Major League All Star. Also, these three were good enough to get Cliff Lee for a whole year, they certainly should be good enough to get him for a four or five months.

Phils get: Cliff Lee
Mets get: Jayson Werth
Mariners get: Three useless Mets prospects kind of like Frenchy, Sucky, and Hearing-impairedy.
Why it works: Ooh, a three way. Phils get pitching. Mariners get prospects. Mets get offense. Also, this is the perfect way to sabotage the Mets as Werth can start sleeping with David Wright's...or Jose Reyes'...or, aww crap, they're all gay. This won't work.

Phils get: Cliff Lee
Mariners get: Cole Hamels
Why this works: Maybe you didn't know, but Cole Hamels is made of girl parts, except for a heart, he doesn't have one of those, apparently. In Seattle, they don't mind this sort of thing. They are more tolerant in the Pacific northwest. Lee, on the other hand, is from Arkansas. All man. All heart. He would never carry a dog in a backpack, unless he planned on using it to hunt and kill other animals later.

25 comments:

Preserve Jon said...

Jayson Werth for Cliff Lee? Not the most outlandish idea in the world.

Bloodstripes said...

This will be the best one yet.

Beat my head against the wall. No method to the madness.

I'm about to have a nervous breakdown, my head really hurts. Gotta find a way outta here or I'm gonna go berserk.

Fuck the wankees!!!

I Wont Stick Any Of You Unless & Until I Can Stick all of You!!!

The pups are doggin' it.

Bloodstripes said...

Long lost dog of it

ACSmitty79 said...

If the Yanks get Cliff Lee, Amaro should go hang himself. And the Phillies 27 owners should follow suit.

It's harsh but what a f'kn mess this trade has turned out to be. We get trash and the Yankees rotation gets better, so much so that even if we get our shit together and get back to the WS, the Yankees would have our best pitcher on top of what they had last year! They'd have the sick rotation we all thought we were getting!! Oh Cruel cruel world!

If the Rangers or Twins can get him, the hangman gets the day off.

Bloodstripes said...

and Amaro was quoted the other day saying what we have all heard before......the old baseball saying......"you can never have too much pitching". Whatever the f*%# happened behind closed doors last year in regards to Clifford we will never know, but one thing is for sure.......Ruben Amaro Junior is chock full of SHIT!!!

Bloodstripes said...

Henry Kissmyassinger!

GM-Carson said...

Apparently I missed this story about Werth sleeping with Utley's wife. Someone please shed some light.

GreggyD said...

If the EE gets Lee, RAJ better get on the horn and find a way to get Oswalt or Haren. All of this Jayson Werth to the Yankees for Javier Vasquez makes me want to vomit. Because then Steinbrenner will sign Lee and Werth in the offseason. I don't want to be a farm system for that awful squad in the Bronx

GM-Carson said...

Just read about Werth and Mrs. Utley. Seems far fetched, but who knows. I pray that isn't true though.

ACSmitty79 said...

Looks like the initial source has pulled the story down.

ripjgarcia said...

Lee to the Rangers.

ACSmitty79 said...

Thank God the Rangers got him.

GM-Carson said...

Good for the Rangers. They have a fun squad this year and Lee might be the piece that puts them over the top.

GM-Carson said...

Phils interested in Scott Downs. He's a very good lefthanded reliever. Relievers, unless closers, usually don't take a lot to get at trade deadline.

Aaron said...

HA HA HA YANKEES!!!!!

THANK YOU RANGERS......YOU HAVE SAVED US ALL!!!!

Bloodstripes said...

Lee is the perfect piece for the Rangers. I hope they win the pennant and take the Yanks down in the process.

Andrew said...

unrelated: came across this "gem"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wukCtXW9k50

Bloodstripes said...

Lenny punkin' out. Classic

Andrew said...

Howard got the walkoff HR and committed a Howard!!!! Is this a whole new category???? Unbelievable comeback!!!

Bloodstripes said...

Now that's a comeback

SirAlden said...

Amazing two nights.

Only 2 games out in the NL Wild Card.

Been a hard hard year, but we are still standing.

Bob D said...

Now we have Howard hitting the walkoff Howard
How awesome is that
I've noticed ibanez also getting hits lately that could be key for the Phils especially from the 3 hole

SirAlden said...

Trade:

1B Justin Smoak
P Blake Beavan AA
P Josh Lueke AA
INF Matt Lawson AA

For:

CF Tyson Gillies AA
P Philippe Aumont A
P Juan Ramirez A

Interesting. Let's check back in 3 years. Please remind me.

GM-Carson said...

Sir Alden- lets remember that the M's were supposed to have him a full season as compared to the Rangers who have him 3.5 months.

SirAlden said...

Was dropping Lee and everything else out of the formula.

It was all about, did the Phillies get the best minor leaguers they could, or if they waited longer.

Still would be nice to have LEE + two 2011 draft picks for Gillies, Aumont, and Ramirez.