Monday, May 10, 2010

Know Your Enemy - Colorado

No-Hitter Jimenez
This guy threw a no-hitter? Are you kidding me? I remember when a no-hitter was special and only the best pitchers would throw one, like Tommy Greene or Terry Mulholland or Kevin Millwood.

Tim Tebow
The Rockies are 8-8 since that other Denver team drafted the Immaculate Interception. I was thinking that God would favor not only the Broncos but all Denver teams now that His little clipboard holder will reside in the now much holier city, but the Rockies record so far is inconclusive. The fact that the Nuggets got bounced in the first round doesn’t help the theory very much. You think Tebow may sign with the Eagles some day because they do preseason practice so close to Bethlehem? Just a thought…

No CarGo
Rockies outfielder Carlos Gonzalez (.318-3-25) will travel to Venezuela after the death of a family member. First reports have Gonzalez missing at least the first two games.

There are many terrific brewers and brewpubs all over Pennsylvania. And if you consider the brewers in Maryland, Jersey and Delaware, the mid-atlantic becomes one of the greatest brewing centers in the country, alongside the Pacific northwest, New England, the mid-west, certain epicenters in California and Colorado. Colorado boasts many, many fine beer companies like Avery, Fort Collins, New Belgium, Left Hand, Oskar Blues and Great Divide to name only a few. Colorado is also home to the Great American Beer Festival. Lots of great beers win medals at the GABF. Lots of mediocre beers win medals at the GABF. But nothing can explain this:

2008 - Category: 22 International-Style Pilsener - Bronze: OE 800, MillerCoors, Milwaukee, WI

I looked up “International-Style Pilseners” on and this is what it is: “straw/golden in color and are well attenuated. This medium bodied beer is often brewed with rice, corn, wheat, or other grain or sugar adjuncts making up part of the mash. Hop bitterness is low to medium. Hop flavor and aroma are low. Residual malt sweetness is low; it does not predominate but may be perceived.”

Nowhere in that description does it talk about the beer tasting like 40 ounces of donkey urine with sugar added, because I’m pretty sure that is what OE 800 tries to taste like. Hop bitterness and residual malt? STFU. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of malt liquor (and other forms of foul tasting, high gravity liquors…) and it serves a noble purpose. But I don’t think OE 800, or any of its brothers, Country Club, Silver Thunder and St. Ides, should be winning any beer tasting awards. Shame on you GABF judges. What’s next? Is Swisher Sweet going to win cigar of the year?

Starter Issues
No one is doubting the skill of Ubaldo Jimenez. The Phillies saw what he was capable of two years ago in the NLDS and he’s been dominant so far in 2010. Twenty one year old Venezuelan rookie Jhoulys Chacin has also had a great start to the season. He’s only made two starts but he’s yet to give up a run in fifteen innings. After that, things get dicey.

Greg Smith – 6.35 ERA
Aaron Cook – 6.03 ERA
Esmil Rogers – 6.39 ERA

Chacin and Jimenez pitched this weekend against the Dodgers. When the team sees that they are getting three through five in the rotation, it has to give them confidence. I’m looking for an offensive outbreak this series.

Troy Tulowitzki=Pervert?
Tulowitzki, like Marlins outfielder Cameron Maybin, uses Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA." A radio show asked him why. His questionable response:

"I have a lot of high school girl fans if you will. For some reason, that's my fan club out there in Denver. Why not please them with a little Miley Cyrus."

Pleasing high school girls? Lawrence Taylor thinks that might be a bad idea.

Kidney Stones
I’ve always thought about baseball catchers like I do football soccer goalkeepers – smart, brave, tough, but a little mental. In both instances, they know that at some point in the game something is going to hit them, likely in the face or groin, and it’s going to hurt a lot. But they don’t care. In fact, most like it. Well, here is another story that points to the tough, but kind of mental, psyche of a catcher. From

Olivo passed a kidney stone during the eighth inning of Monday's 5-3 loss to the D-backs, yet he finished the game. And he passed another before extending his hit streak to five games Tuesday night.

“Believe me, it's not fun. Sometimes when I have the pain, I just want to die. It's crazy.”

That is crazy. Most likely Phillie not named Chase Utley to pass a kidney stone and keep playing? Cole Hamels?

Bullpen troubles
While Ryan Madson’s toe heals, and Brad Lidge rehabs in the majors, and Danys Baez makes you want to pull your hair out, the Colorado Rockies are feeling similar pains. Huston Street has yet to pitch this season. Interim closer Franklin Morales has been very inconsistent, walking as many batters as he Ks. As the Rockies best lefty, the Phils should see Morales often in the next three games. Setup man Rafael Betencourt has allowed runs in 5 of his last 8 appearances and sports a 5.56 ERA.

No Jimenez. No Chacin. No Gonzalez. No problems for the Phillies. Good guys take 2 of 3.


Dr. Steve said...

Lidge rehabbing in the majors. LOL! But so true (even if he looks pretty good)

GM-Carson said...

Tulo is day-to-day too for the Rox. And I can't believe that was his response to the Hanna Montana intro music...creepy!

furiousBall said...

Troy, you come within two feet of my daughter and you're dead.

GM-Carson said...

Brian Schneider was put on the DL. Paul Hoover was called up from Triple A. Ryan Madson moved to 60-day DL to make room on 40 man roster.

B said...

You know what's creepy? Carson's entire demeanor.

GM-Carson said...

B- who are you?

B said...

Your worst nightmare

GM-Carson said...

go on...

B said...

Your worst nightmare...jerkoff

ripjgarcia said...

Evidently B is someone with seven blogs about writing but fails in his ability to type complete sentences.

ripjgarcia said...

Will it be good Kendrick or bad Kendrick tonight?

GM-Carson said...

Coors Lite Kendrick

Bob D said...

B fails at blogging

B said...

Bob D. fails at life. Carson fails at humor. Life is full of failures.

Bloodstripes said...

Chooch is on fire!!! Smokin!

GM-Carson said...

Ruiz is killing it.

Valdez is a double play machine. 4 straight games now I think he's hit into one.

B- thanks for reading our blog buddy. Glad you like my humor so much.

GM-Carson said...

Chooch is killing it.

Valdez is a double play machine, unfortunately moreso on offense than defense. I believe he's hit into a DP in 4 straight games now.

B- thanks for reading our blog and finding me so humorous.

Preserve Jon said...

I discovered last night that Chris Wheeler on the radio is not as bad as one may think.

Bob D said...

"Valdez is a double play machine, unfortunately moreso on offense than defense. I believe he's hit into a DP in 4 straight games now." Carson your right on that. He is this years Pedro Feliz just without power. Maybe this could be a new stat - The Valdez! Kinda like the Exxon Valdez but you have to hit into more double plays than turning double plays.
Carson I get a kick out of your humor too, but I guess some do not have any sense of humor.