Wednesday, May 19, 2010

In Depth Philly/Chicago Series Preview

Spot: Raucous joint housing 45,000 fans in South Philly.
Root For: Philadelphia Phillies 24-14, 1st Place
Root Against: Chicago Cubs 18-22, 3rd Place

Game 1: Tom Gorzelanny vs. Jamie Moyer
(1-4, 3.60/1.38) (5-2, 4.57/1.10)
Reason the Cubs Win: Apparently beating the Phillies is a rite of passage for boys, and for this baby-faced pubescent (Gorze) it's about time for him to become a man.
Reason the Phillies Win:Grand Pappy (by the way that is officially his recognized nickname on Wikipedia) loves proving this WSBGMs blogger wrong.

Game 2: Ryan Dempster vs. Joe Blanton
(2-4, 3.49/1.09) (1-2, 5.49/1.27)
Reason the Cubs Win: Dempster's hidden talent is magic, so expect him to have a few tricks up his sleeve; including the horribly goofy glove-twitchy thing he does during his delivery. And if that doesn't make him cool enough, check out this picture of him and Jessica Simpson (is he the reason for her and Nick Lachey's, Tony Romo's, and John Mayer's split?).
Reason the Phillies Win: Joe Blanton and I are almost exactly the same size (6'3" 245 lb) so I know that means we like to eat. Being that it's a 1:05 game, my bet is on Blanton making short work of the Cubbies lineup so he can grab an early dinner and then 4th meal at Taco Bell later that evening.

*I hope by now you all realize the "in depth" part of these series previews is extremely tongue-in-cheek.


furiousBall said...

Carson, i'm picking you first for my softball team big guy

GM-Carson said...

Is this a beer league? If so, I'm down!

GM-Carson said...

I understand every teams goes through lulls like this, but I f'n hate watching this offense putter through games scoring next to nothing.

Bob D said...

I hate going to the game like today and they putter through a BORING game. Almost a waste of money - almost.

Preserve Jon said...

Yes, it's May, but I'm going to be that guy. At what point do the Phils' start considering a Wakefield-esque contract for Jamie Moyer? A one-year mutual option for $5-$6 million dollars sounds reasonable.

Of course, now Jamie will rip off 5straight 4-inning outings.