Friday, April 09, 2010

Know Your Enemy - Houston

Last year I did a Tale of the Tape before each series against a new opponent. Well, I'm not nearly creative enough to come up with 5-6 more comparisons for each city again this year. Instead, before each series I'll just riff on the city, it's people and it's baseball team so everyone knows what the Phils are up against. I'll also link to last season's TotT. First up, Houston and the Astros.

Houston TotT from 2009.

Ballpark:
There are a few things I like about “The Juice Box” in Houston. The train on top of the left field wall is cool. I like that Doug Glanville was the first player to get a hit there. (Randy Wolf got the first win and Wayne Gomes the first save.) I even like the short porch and “Crawford Boxes” in left. Sure, it gives up some really cheap homers, but the rest of the ballpark is not as hitter friendly and overall the stadium plays relatively neutral (park factor of .930-Runs in 2009.) But that stupid hill and flagpole is indefensible. I understand similar items were located in Crosley Field and old, old Yankee Stadium, but that doesn’t make this cool. It makes it dangerous and unnecessary. There is a fine line between quirky and stupid and that hill/pole is firmly entrenched on the wrong side of that line.

Baseball Uniforms:
The good and the bad & ugly.


Phucco Connections:
You all know about the scrot-faced GM and his Philadelphia also-rans (Myers, Feliz, Michaels, Bourn) but I bet you didn’t know that former Buccos Dave Clark and Al Pedrique are on the coaching staff. Clark coaches third and Pedrique is the bench coach.

The Team This Year:
It could be a long year in Houston if the offense struggles like they did against the Giants. They get a pass for getting shut down by Bong-Hit McShaggyhair in the season opener, but for Barry Zito et al. to get a shutout in game two is scary bad. Hell, Pedro Feliz hit 5th in that game. Lance Berkman is out injured and if the Astros plan on winning a few games this year, he needs to get back ASAP… and Roy Oswalt needs to get five years younger.

Why We Should Be GMs:


DL Disappointment:
The Astros placed Sammy Gervacio on the 15-day DL for a rotator cuff strain. He’s a good young pitcher so the Phils have a better chance of winning with him out, but I’m disappointed because we won’t get to watch this…


Probable Starters:
Bud Norris - The nephew of Chuck Norris pitched once against the Phils last year, winning the game after going six and giving up only two earned. He hadn't given up less than five in his four starts before that.
Felipe Paulino - Like Bud, Paulino was horrible (7 straight losses) before giving up only a run in five innings against the Phils on October 1st.
Roy Oswalt - Career stats versus the Phillies: 6-1, 3.23. Of course, most of that was before he was old and washed up like he is now.

Prediction:
Sweeeeeeeeeep!

16 comments:

GM-Carson said...

For real, Bud Norris is Chuck Norris' newphew? Why the hell am I just finding out about this now?

I wish Brett Myers was pitching this series and I wish Utely would drill him with a linedrive.

I'm still angered over yesterday's permformance. As Ricky-Bo put it, "If you're searching for a victory late in the season, this is one that easily could have been."

Preserve Jon said...

Phils always play poorly against Houston. It's just one of those things.

KK's new nickname? Quad-A Kendrick.

Andrew said...

Its way too early to turn on KK guys. The fact that the bad outing was against the gNats does make it a bit worse, but give him some slack. 3 stinkers in a row and I'm all for standing corrected.... As for Raul, give him at least 75 ABs to figure it out, then after that, again, I'm all for standing corrected.

GM-Carson said...

I'm a jerk, I'm selling out Raul already. I think he's in line for a horrible season.

Andrew said...

Its very possible Carson. But I think there's a hot streak (of maybe about a month) in there somewhere. Lets say, June, 10 HRs, 30 RBI, .350 avg. Followed by another slump.

furiousBall said...

whenever i see that pic of ed wade, why is my first thought... "oh, looks like he didn't get all the lipstick off after kissing that drag queen."

GM-Carson said...

Ed Wade is such a nutsack. I wonder if he shaves or uses Nair?

GM-Carson said...

I know this may be premature, but I've already given up on Raul. I know he was injured during the 2nd half, but he was horrible. Then this spring he was nearly listless. Through the first 3 games his bat has been putrid. His only hit was on a slow roller in the 2nd/1st hole, and was a hit because the Gnats were playing up the middle for a doubleplay. Not only that, he's taking fastballs right down the pipe. Pitiful.

Andrew said...

Ed Wade reminds me of Dana Carvey playing George Bush Sr....

GM-Carson said...

Ed Wade reminds me of Dana Carvey in Master of Disguise when he says "Turtle, turtle".

Dr. Steve said...

Even if Raul was the player he was in the first half of the year last year, I still wouldn't understand all the "We did great" in signing him. We paid a ton of money for him on day one of free agency, when most outfielders went for much less afterwards. Pat Burrell most likely had to go, but if we had kept him, we'd have had a nice right handed bat in our lineup instead of another left handed one.

Victorino needs to move up.

GM-Carson said...

Well at least Raul got a meaningful hit tonight.

GM-Carson said...

Bases loaded twice now with no runs scored in that situation. WTF?!

Andrew said...

Raul read this post and is making you feel stupid tonight. Everybody wins.

Dr. Steve said...

Watching David Herndon pitch is a beautiful thing.

GM-Carson said...

Sometimes I like being wrong, and in the case of Raul Ibanez, I hope he proves me wrong all season long.