Friday, April 16, 2010

Know Your Enemy - Florida (aka Miami)

Holy Freaking Crap:


The Airport:
I’ve only ever been to Miami twice and both times I didn’t leave the airport. I’ve heard from friends that the city is a good time. An expensive, overly-trendy, gawdy, plastic, humid good time, but still, a good time. The airport, on the other hand, is the National Zoo of flight hubs, a hellish, God forsaken wasteland of air travel. My biggest complaint? No food! I had a 2 hour layover once and walked all over that place searching for a decent bite of grub. What did I find? A small diner-like lunch counter that was so dirty Mets fans likely wouldn’t eat there, a Pizza Hut and a large machine that dispensed sandwiches from Ruby Tuesday. It was bad. C’mon, Miami this is unacceptable and not a great first impression for a city with a decent tourist reputation.

Cameron Maybin
You won't hear it this weekend because the games are in Philadelphia, but Maybin's intro music is Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA." I honestly never heard the song so I went to youtube. Wow. I'll never look at Cameron Maybin the same way ever again.

Where Will Ronny Paulino And Cody Ross Be Next Year?
Most likely it won't be the opening day starting catcher and right fielder for the 2011 Marlins. In the last eleven years, the Marlins have had nine opening day starting catchers: Mike Redmond(2), Charles Johnson, Ivan Rodriguez, Ramon Castro, Paul Lo Duca, Miguel Olivo(2), Matt Treanor, John Baker and Paulino. In the last thirteen years they have had eleven opening day right fielders: Gary Sheffield, Todd Dunwoody, Brant Brown, Eric Owens, Kevin Millar, Jaun Encarnacion(2), Miguel Cabrera, Jeremy Hermida, Joe Borchard, Luis Gonzalez and Cody Ross (2).

Sellouts:
The Teal Monster in left field (c’mon, really?) has a new look this year at Joe Robbie Pro Player Dolphins Land Shark Sun Life Stadium. Out is the electronic out-of-town scoreboard. In are advertisements for MLB network.

Marlins president David Samson said the stadium was no longer willing to pay for repairs and the Marlins were not willing to pay for them either. "It couldn't be serviced in an economical matter,'' Samson said. "It broke all the time.''

A major league baseball team can’t afford to maintain a scoreboard. High schools have electronic scoreboards. Either the economics in baseball are either a lot worse than we all suspect or the Marlins are lying sellouts who just want a few extra dollars. And for the record, it’s the lying part that I don’t like. I love ads on outfield walls. It’s old school. It’s Life Buoy at the Baker Bowl. It’s American. [Singing] God bless America...

The University:
What is Miami University most known for? The football team? That duck mascot thing? Pat Burrell? No, easily the greatest thing to come from the “U” is the 7th floor crew. You remember, the Miami football team rap group that created the worst best worst rap in the history of university dorm room vulgarity. I can’t reprint the lyrics here because they are that bad, but I’ll link if you are interested to the lyrics and a video. I don’t think I’ll send my daughter to the “U.” My son can go, though.

Uni Watch:
Things you won't see on the Marlins uniform this season: The "F" logo that used to be on the sleeve and "Florida" across the away jersey. In preparation for changing their name to the "Miami Marlins" when they move into their new stadium they are separating themselves as much as possible from the name "Florida."

Retired Numbers:
No Marlins have had their jersey number retired (keep those fingers crossed Bryan Harvey) but they did retire jersey number 5 in honor of former team president Carl Barger who died just prior to their first season. They picked 5 because Barger's favorite player was Joe DiMaggio.

I want to go on record now, if I pass away while this blog is still in operation, I want to be added to the WSBGMs Hall of Fame wearing a Phillies cap, not a Pirates one, and with the number 47. It's the proof of a bottle of Beefeater gin. Mmmmm, gin.

Probably Starters:
Ricky Nolasco - He gave up three homers in his last start versus Cincy.
Anibel Sanchez - 2-4, 5.60 career against the Fightins.
Nate Robertson - Long time American Leaguer Robertson has only two relief appearances against the Phils, giving up four runs in two innings.

Prediction:
Sweeeeeeeeeeep!!!!

17 comments:

GM-Carson said...

Nick Johnson and Troy Tulowitzski also come out to Miley Cyrus songs. At the beginning of the season I predicted an active MLB player would come out of the closet, I just thought it would be a NY Met.

Kevin McGuire said...

I love this series. Good stuff as always! Keep it up!

With Halladay on the mound I expect a rebound win tonight. And with Moyer I hope he continues his dominance of the Fish, although I think they figured him out once or twice last season, did they not?

GM-Carson said...

I'm hoping for another CG-W from Doc tonight. Please no Baez or Madson, they make my stomach turn.

GM-Carson said...

I need to go take a shower and wash the gay off of me after watching that Scott Stapp shit. Horrible.

Andrew said...

Creed is amazingly terrible! Its so weird that I have not one, but two, close friends who are completely obsessed with that band and even went to their last concert for nearly $100 per ticket. Sad...

GM-Carson said...

In a contest of city gayness, Scott Stapp beats out Philly's Hall & Oates...that's saying something.

Andrew said...

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=5098407

Oh this is something to be proud of

Preserve Jon said...

I think that's a new low for douchebaggery.

GM-Carson said...

Wow, screw that Clemmens asshat. He shouldn't be allowed to be associated with the Phillies fans if he's that big of an asshole. That kind of behavior is never funny.

Andrew said...

Roy with the .333 (3/9) batting average.... nice

GM-Carson said...

Hey, this Roy Halladay fella is alright.

GM-Carson said...

Juan Castro almost has as many rbi (5) as Bruntlett had all last season (7). This doesn't mean Castro is good, this just means Bruntlett was really friggin' bad.

Bob D said...

Awesome win! Herndon almost let the lead slip away - but there was 3 infield hits and only 1 linedrive off of him. So it was just a bit of luck for the Marlins there. Utley with 4 straight games with a HR. Hopefully Ibanez starts to heat up or we may see more of Francisco soon in left. But he did have an awesome play out there

GM-Carson said...

I'm optimistic about this team, but not Ibanez. I just don't think he's going to be that good. He spoiled us with an amazing 1st half last year.

ripjgarcia said...

Waiting for the next post to share my comments.

GM-Carson said...

working on it

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