Friday, April 23, 2010

Know Your Enemy - Arizona

Border Patrol
Arizona is having a terrible time with illegal immigration; specifically violent drug trafficking aliens. Originally the increased border-running was attributed to the signing of Thalnepantla’s own Rodrigo Lopez causing a stir among Mexican baseball fans clamoring to get glimpse of their national hero. Turns out, it’s more about the drugs… and the fact that Mexico is a wasteland devoid of value outside of agave plants and donkey shows. In response to the increased trouble of border crossers, Republican senators McCain and Kyl have called for federal funding for 3000 National Guard troops to man the border. Meanwhile, Democratic representatives from the state have set up ACORN-operated voter registration booths.

Name That Player Connection
Look for Diamondback rookie utility player Rusty Ryal to make an appearance. You may know Rusty from his father, Mark, who was a Philadelphia Phillie in the 80’s and recently made an appearance on that popular WSBGMs piece “Name That Player.”

Hold Your Batteries
If you plan on attending a game this weekend with a plan to hit Diamondback shortstop JD Drew with a battery, don’t do it. It’s actually Stephen Drew that plays for Arizona, not JD. Although, Stephen is JD’s brother, so bring the batteries, but nothing over a AA.

King of “The Howard”
Mark Reynolds, who tied Adam Dunn for the 2009 Howard Champion will be on full display for Fightins fans for three games. He's not only last years c0-champion but the odds on favorite to win the 2010 title also. [By the way, Ty Wigginton, he of the Wiggy Hat Trick, didn't commit a single Howard in 2009.] I'm thinking about starting a campaign that would convince Phillies management to allow Carson and I to present Mark with an official Howard Champion trophy when the D-backs visit Philadelphia later this season. Any suggestions as to what The Howard trophy should look like? Maybe this?

Closer Watch
The Phillies aren't the only team in this series with questions about their closer. Chad Qualls has been less than spectacular this season: 10.80 ERA with a loss and two blown saves. A few days ago there were rumblings that Juan Gutierrez might get some save opportunities and he promptly went out and give up six runs in his next two appearances. Both teams hope this series does not become a battle of the bullpens.

What Am I Missing Here?
The D-back blog AZ Snakepit did post a little ago titled “Luis Gonzalez: should we retire his number?” My first thought is “no” but I’m sure it’s a valid topic, especially when you are trying to fill blog space in the offseason. Then I saw the poll results: 75% of voters said his number should be retired at some point. 75%.Really? I know he had that bloop single to score the winning run in a World Series but so did Pedro Feliz and no one is retiring his jersey. Gonzalez’s overall numbers aren’t that great with Arizona either. He roided-up and hit 57 homers one year but only hit over 30 one other time. He leads Arizona in most career offensive statistics but they aren’t that old of a franchise and his biggest competition is Steve Finley who played only 5+ seasons in Arizona.

Down On The Farm
The following mascot incident happened in Reno which has the Diamondbacks AAA farm team. It doesn't have anything really to do with the D-backs or Arizona, but it is a freakin' wolf moonwalking off the dugout. Nice.

Probable Starters
Kris Benson
Ian Kennedy
Rodrigo Lopez

What luck. No Dan Haren. No Edwin Jackson. And they get to face Kris Benson. As for the fans, we get the possibility of frequent gratuitous "wife with big knockers cheering from the luxury box" shots on TV. It's like Christmas in April.

Two of three with a "Howard" for Mark Reynolds on Saturday night.


GM-Carson said...

Lidge pitched a scoreless inning in Triple-A last night. That's 3 decent appearances in a row now.

In the same game, Brandon Duckworth made his first start of the year going 5 shutout innings and picking up the win.

GM-Carson said...

Maybe we could get enough online support for "The Howard" award and give a trophy to both Dunn and Reynolds with a little help from our PR boy for the Phils Scott Palmer.

Andrew said...

It will be the only thing Dunn has ever won. He'll love it!

furiousBall said...

i like that mascot's moves

GM-Carson said...

Cole Hamels sucks! Everyone that says he's unlucky because some stupid stat is retarded. He just doesn't get the job done, plain and simple. Screw unlucky, stop giving up homeruns you vagina!

Dr. Steve said...

Hamels is clearly to blame. And I do not mean to take anything away from Cole Hamels shitting the bed tonight.

But we need to start hitting the ball. Like, this is pathetic. How can we be so good, and have Polanco now, and still can't score some damn runs?!

Aaron said...

Hamels sucks
he's not even average
he,s just not a good pitcher
seriosly there's nothing special about him

he has a great change up and that's it
his fastball sux his curve sux his location sux

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