Saturday, November 07, 2009

Goodbye Brett

The Myers Roller Coaster Express has been shutdown. No more Superman-esque performances, and no more painful minor league demotions. No more wife beating, and no more barroom fighting. Brett Myers time with the Phillies has officially come to an end as Ruben Amaro informed him that they would not be retaining his services. As Myers put it, "Kenny Powers is officially a free agent." I'm not a fan of his, and believe this to be the right decision, but that quote garnered a glint of respect in my eyes for the hot-headed hick.

Brett Myers (2002-2009)- 73-63, 240 g, 1183.2 ip, 986 k, 21 sv, 6 hld, 4.40 ERA, and 1.36 WHIP. It sure has been a roller coaster ride with this guy. Brett is known for getting into bar fights, smacking around his wife, being in and out of shape, and being totally awesome at times and totally sucking at others. No matter how poorly he's pitched at times, the fact is in 2007 with him closing and in 2008 without his 2nd half resurgence the Phils wouldn't have made the playoffs. *From WSBGMs Phillies Best of 2000's Team.

Audio of the infamous "How do you spell retard?" tirade.

I think it would be fitting to send Brett off in the classy WSBGMs style of a song parody. Today I select Goodbye Earl by the Dixie Chicks to put my twist on.

Goodbye Brett
The Phils thought to bring Brett back in,
They searched for reasons,
High and low.
Then they tipped their hats,
And said "Thank You Brett,
If we need your services, we'll let you know."

Well, the weeks went by and,
Fall turned to Winter,
And Winter faded into Spring.
And it turns out Brett was a missing person,
who nobody missed, that was the thing.

Brett had to leave.
Goodbye Brett!
We need a break.
Let him go to the Royals,
We'll pack him a lunch.
And stuff your suitcase trunk, Brett.
Well, how is KC?
Good? Don't you ever come back.
Goodbye Brett!

~Carson

7 comments:

GM-Carson said...

Zolecki update:
The Phillies have contacted Chan Ho Park's agent about returning. ... The Phillies will wait for results on Scott Eyre's elbow surgery before they decide whether or not they want to bring him back. ... If Matt Stairs is back in 2010 at all, it will be on a Minor League deal.

Dr. Steve said...

Good news on Chan Ho as he is awesome, but let's get some "NO PEDRO MARTINEZ" news coming soon. I have no idea why they'd want to resign him with the existing contracts to Moyer and the farm system near to bursting with pitching prospects.

God I hate that guy.

Bob D said...

Good luck Brett. Can't wait for your first visit to Philly as the opposition.

Dr. Steve said...

Bob you assume Brett can pitch.

The Phillies.com article says the Phillies are "unlikely" to acquire a new starting pitcher. While that is obvious news, I must say the notion of signing a new top-tier starting pitching does have me drooling a bit.

I mean... I have complete faith in Cole Hamels... totally...

mmm... Halliday.

Andrew said...

Randy Wolf
Eric Bedard
Justin Duchscherer
Rich Hill
Jason Marquis


All intriguing options, in my opinion.

SirAlden said...

Also add he made

$30,157,499 Million.

At first I was shocked.
Now I am impressed by Ruben.

Without Pedro stabilizing the rotation there would have been
no World Series this year. He went
5-1 down the stretch - should have
one the game against the Dodgers,
and the first game against the Yankees.

He is a puzzle piece and can help teach Hamels a thing or too. He would not be in the rotation from start to finish.

Why do you hate him so Dr. Steve?
Why no hate for Lee down the stretch when for 6-7 games he was god awful?

The Minors are not bursting
with pitching for 2010.

Drabek has a 2011 delivery date.

GM-Carson said...

The Phils already have something like $93 million committed to just 9 players. That leaves about a third of the roster unpaid for. Vic, Blanton, and a few other are getting raises through arbitration as well. Going out and buying a top-flight arm for the rotation won't happen. They already have Lee, Hamels, Blanton, Happ, and Moyer, with Kendrick, Carpenter, and Drabek waiting should one DL/falter.