Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Brad Lidge Needs Your Horse's Placenta

Yeah, you read that correctly.

All year long while Lidge was blowing saves many fans of the Fightins were convinced that Lidge was hurt. It was repeatedly denied but as soon as the season finished, a season that saw Lidge give up three runs in a tie Game 4 of the World Series, he was on the operating room schedule for at least one procedure.

Just think if Lidge could have been fixed in the middle of the season. That is where the horse placenta makes an appearance in the story.

Arsenal (that's a soccer team) and Dutch forward Robin van Persie tore some ankle ligaments in a friendly (that's an exhibition) versus Italy. He was initially thought to be out for the rest of the season but now there is word he may be back on the pitch (that's a field) in only 6 weeks. How? Serbian horse placenta.

According to The Sun, van Persie says he will receive treatment from "a female doctor" who will "massage you for a long time with placenta fluid" that "has probably come from a large animal such as a horse."

Just think, we could have been just a single horse placenta away from a healthy closer and a different World Series outcome. Of course, it is not known if the placenta rub will have a happy ending or not. Check back in six weeks for an update...

3 comments:

GM-Carson said...

Not sure if that's disgusting, sexual, or both.

SirAlden said...

Depends on what the Female Doctor looks like.

And if she does it in Slow Motion.

GM-Carson said...

Slow Motion? How's that get the job done?