Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Tale of the Tape - New York - World Series Edition

Punk Rock Music
New York - The Ramones, the most influential rock band since The Beatles, hailed from Queens. But if that isn't enough, consider the hardcore scene and bands like H2O, Sick Of It All, Cro-Mags, CIV, Gorilla Biscuits, Agnostic Front, Murphy's Law and many more.
Philly - Philly band The Loved Ones are in high rotation on my playlist right now. The Dead Milkmen were pretty cool. And the Trocadero might be the best place on the planet to see a show.
Advantage - New York. Nothing beats The Ramones.

New York - Delicious. If you remember, Michael Scott (Dunder Mifflin regional manager and former owner of the Michael Scott Paper Company) likes to hit up Sbarro's when he's in the city, but I find Ray's Pizza (the one on Prince Street) to be a better example of a tasty New York pie.
Philly - I spent four years eating $5 large pies from Mario's on 19th and Olney. They make their pizza from frozen dough, tomato paste and government cheese.
Advantage - New York.

Odd Museum
New York - The Museum of Sex. The founder of this museum wanted a home dedicated to "the history, evolution and cultural significance of human sexuality." It's basically legitimized pornography...which I'm totally okay with.
Philly - The Mutter Museum. This museum host medical oddities, pathological specimens and antique medical equipment.
Advantage - New York. It's hard to beat porn.

New York - Delicious. I prefer an "everything" with cream cheese.
Philly - Not all Philly bagels are bad...but not that many are really good, either.
Advantage - New York.

Public Transit Nuisance
New York - Getting shot by Colin Ferguson while sitting on the LIRR.
Philly - There used to be this one-legged guy that rode the Orange Line who sold bootlegged DVDs. If you didn't want a DVD, he would ask you for food. One time, I gave him half my sandwich. He hopped away without saying "thank you."
Advantage - Philly.

Battle of Anthropomorphized Statues
New York - Statue of Liberty.
Philly - Rocky.
Advantage - Philly. Checking in a 8 1/2 feet tall, Rocky would seem to have a significant and insurmountable size disadvantage to the 150 feet tall mammoth from Ellis Island. But remember, "Lady Liberty" is French! Rocky needs just a couple of shots to the robe, and that bitch will throw in the towel.

Giant Salute To Homemakers
New York - A large needle and button.
Philly - A large clothespin.
Advantage - Philly. It can't be safe to have a giant needle just sitting around. And given the overall cleanliness of the Big Apple, I'm guessing there is enough Hepatitis C on that thing to infect half of the Bronx...the half that isn't already infected, that is.

Football Teams
New York - Zero.
Philly - The Eagles.
Advantage - Philly.

Cosby Connection
New York - In The Cosby Show, Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable lived with his family in a brownstone in New York. One of Cosby's "television children" was the lovely and talented Lisa Bonet.
Philly - The Philadelphia born and Temple educated Cosby still owns a home in suburban Philly.
Advantage - Philly. Philly has the real Cosby, which beats the fake Cosby and Lisa Bonet...barely.

Regional Colloquialism
New York - "Fuggetaboutit"
Philly - "Yo"
Advantage - Philly. "Yo" can be used in almost as many ways as the f-bomb. "Fuggetaboutit," on the other hand, makes you sound like a retarded monkey. No offense to monkeys.

Best Choice For A Statue?
New York - James Marion Sims. Dr. Sim was the "Father of Gynecology." That seems okay, until you consider that the discoveries of disease and technique were developed by performing procedures on slaves in Alabama. According to one website, some patients underwent over 30 procedures and that Dr. Sims "believed that Africans could tolerate pain, [so he] never used anesthesia." Oh, that's not good.
Philly -The Ideal Scout at 22nd & Winter St.
Advantage - Philly. Boy scout statues are stupid but they beat racist torturers every time.

My Favorite Place To Drink
New York - The Bohemian Hall beer garden on 24th St. in Astoria. They have a wide selection of German and Czech beers at reasonable (for NYC) prices, along with abundant outdoor seating and a great overall atmosphere.
Philly - In college, I would say Arenas in East Falls or Chemistry in Manyunk. They are both gone. I also liked the German bar Ludwig's in Center City. It's gone too. Now, I would say that Monk's is my go-to place. A great selection of draft and bottled beers and the best mussels and pommes frites in the city.
Advantage - New York.There are very few things in New York that I like and this is one of my favorites. I don't know of a similar place in Philly, which is unfortunate.

There you have it. The numbers never lie. Even if I use recycled categories from a previous post the numbers still never lie and these numbers say the Phils should repeat as WFC.


GM-Carson said...

Wow, a supersized TotT with 12 categories. Phils won 7-5, we've got that going for us which is nice.

I'm hoping this stupid weather doesn't postpone tonight's game. We've waited a freakin' week already to get this show started.

Dr. Steve said...

I want the weather postponing it. I don't want the game to start and then be canceled, ruining a Cliff Lee start. Or end in Cliff being pulled after the second inning due to a long delay. Or just it raining while they pitch. We have the pitching advantage, and I don't want to lose that.

So, delay it. But hey, it's not like rain and the poor commish decisions ever affect the Phillies in the World Series before, right?

(Wow, we have a World Series history. That feels good.)

Corey said...

postpone the game for the reasons stated above. i don't want a start-stop game decided by 7 innings from each bullpen.

they should just wait until november to start the series and only play one game a week. stretch this thing out so we have baseball in every month of the year...

GM-Carson said...

In case you didn't already know, Doug Glanville is and forever will be awesome. He wrote a terrific article for the New York Times, give it a read.

GM-Carson said...

No respect, 21 out of 23 ESPN Baseball people picked the Yankees to win, even Philly homeboy Jayson Stark.

Dr. Steve said...

Have the Yankees really been that impressive that they have so many supporters in the Media or are they just wishful thinkers? The Yankees hardly looked like a tough team to beat in either series, let alone dominant. And since when were the Phillies some kind of crappy team? Are we not the defending World Champions? And actually played like it?

Fuck all this disrespect.

Zac said...

Game time people... LETS GO FIGHTINS

Bob D said...

Utley going to silence the critics

GM-Carson said...

I mean this is the straightest way possible...I love Chase Utley and Cliff Lee.

Andrew said...

And Raul

Burton said...

Raul had me worried there for a minute. I'm glad it pulled it off.

Burton said...

Hells yeah, Lee!

Zac said...

Wow. Just Amazing... Chase and Cliff are golden gods!

Aaron said...


Jim said...


SirAlden said...

3 to go.

SirAlden said...

Eighteen of the last 21 teams to win Game 1 have won the World Series.

GM-Carson said...

I love the Phillies, love 'em!