Friday, September 04, 2009

Tale of the Tape - Houston

Quotes About
Houston - "Houston, we have a problem." - James Lovell
Philly - "I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday." - WC Fields
Advantage - Philly. Unlike space travel and moon landings, Philadelphia is real.

It's The Law
Houston - It is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.
Phillly - You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth.
Advantage - Push.

Ugly Clothing
Houston - Those "Rainbow Guts" uniforms (aka Tequila Sunrise).
Philly - The short-lived all-moroon monstrosities from the early eighties.
Advantage - Houston. Nobody is sporting the all-maroons these days, but the Rainbow shirts are now chic.

Sir Charles Connection
Houston - Four seasons with the Rockets.
Philly - Eight seasons with the Sixers.
Advantage - Push. Zero NBA Finals with either....and I couldn't decide if spitting on someone was an advantage or disadvantage. It's a shame the DUI/fellatio incident didn't happen while he was in Philadelphia.

The City As A Name
Houston - Whitney Houston
Philly - Philadelphia Phil & Phyllis
Advantage - Philly. Because Phil & Phyllis knew when to go away. Sure, they made a cameo when the Vet closed, but for the most part they have taken their unpopularity and stayed away. Whitney, on the other hand, just won't go away. She's like herpes...except with more herpes.

Corey

16 comments:

Dr. Steve said...

http://gizmodo.com/5352410/indian-moon-probe-takes-clear-photo-of-apollo-15-mission

UH OH. THE FIRST ONE MIGHT HAVE JUST BEEN MISPROVEN!

GM-Carson said...

The moon landing on '69 is a conspiracy theory, never happened.

Remember the Sir Charles "Right Guard" commercials...because anything less would be uncivilized.

I have a Phyll and Phyllis retro shirt.

GM-Carson said...

News:
Ryan Howard was the NL Player of the Week last week and the NL Player of the Month for August.

Matt Stairs has not had a base hit in nearly 2 months now, 0-28.

Just how bad is Raul Ibanez? He's had only 1 RBI since August 13th, his last homerun was August 12th, and batted .193/.594 in August and is currently 0-8 in September. That's freaking horrible.

Andrew said...

at least this team is good at carrying those who are slumping. Ruiz is on fire now

SirAlden said...

Pedro! Pedro!! Pedro!!! Pedro!!!!

GM-Carson said...

Sir Alden- I don't get it, what's so great about Pedro Feliz?

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bronxbomber said...

Oh God. Say it ain't so about Curt Schilling;

www.buyingachampionship.com

Jeremy said...

why can't Fuqua, this supposed hitting master spark the offense? I don't like this three hits with scrapping by on 2 runs.

Jeremy said...

Fuck J-roll

Jeremy said...

You have to be kidding me. Has every player on this team completely forgotten what a productive out is and how to make one, FUCK!

Aaron said...

The entire offense is a big bag-o-douche right now.

Aaron said...

shut out. Again. 3 runs in 4 games..........great guys....really great.

GM-Carson said...

Suffice to say, I hate the Phillies offense right now.

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