Monday, July 27, 2009

Tale Of The Tape - Phoenix

Stadium Hotspot
Phoenix - The pool in right center.
Philly - Ashburn Alley.
Advantage - Phoenix. Bikinis = nice.

Sidewalk Activity
Phoenix - Frying an egg. It's like 110 degrees in Arizona, so sidewalk cookery is entirely possible.
Philly - Getting beat to death.
Advantage - Push. Eggs are loaded with fat and cholesterol which leads to coronary artery disease, myocardial infarction and death. Since the end result is the same, gotta call a "push."

WNBA Team
Phoenix - The Mercury.
Philly - No WNBA team.
Advantage - Philly. Although getting a team in Philadelphia would lower the unemployment rate for the 6 feet tall lesbian demographic, not having the WNBA benefits the rest of the population immensely.

The School For You
Phoenix - The University of Phoenix.
Philly - KKF.
Advantage - Philly. U of Phoenix has the largest undergraduate population of any university, spread out over the entire country. So, KKF wins for two reasons 1)exclusivity and 2)explaining why you drive to King of Prussia to go to the University of Phoenix is difficult to do.

Fashion Faux Pas
Phoenix - The bola tie is the official state neckwear.
Philly - Sweatpants. For some in south Philly, sweatpants are active wear, night wear, formal wear and everything else in between. The bar, school, a job interview, a wake...sweatpants will be worn.
Advantage - Philly. Sweatpants are comfortable.

Once again, the numbers never lie. Philly takes another TotT so the Phils will take another series...with or without Roy Halladay.

Corey

9 comments:

GM-Carson said...

Sweatpants is all I wore in college from mid-October to mid-April. Cargo shorts all other times.

Reverend Paul Revere said...

i love sweatpants

SirAlden said...

Juicy Couture GM Carson? JCGMC.

GM-Carson said...

no sweatpants today today, it's hot as balls! seriously, humid as a mutha, nuts sticking to leg hot!

Jay Ballz said...

Uh...too early to be cracking jokes about that beating death outside the ballpark?

Corey said...

Uh...no.

Dr. Steve said...

Did someone LOSE a Howard?

GM-Carson said...

Another win.

tamtam said...

you are so overdramatic, carson :).

yeah, the weather is hot, but phoenix has way better nightlife than philidelphia.

plus, you have to admit-chase field is indeed a pretty nice stadium if you prefer to conduct your activities during the daytime.