Monday, July 20, 2009

Tale Of The Tape - Chicago

Fun Parade
Chicago - Von Steuben Day Parade
Philly - Mummer's Parade
Advantage - Philly. Von Stueben Day is celebrated in many places, not just Chicago. In fact, the biggest parade is in NYC. So, even though Ferris Bueller sang "Danke Schoen" and "Twist and Shout" in the Chicago parade, it's lack of originality makes it an easy loser to the Mummers.

Ballpark Name
Chicago - Wrigley Field
Philly - Citizens Bank Park
Advantage - Chicago. Two reasons: 1)the government isn't bailing out the gum industry and 2)the Doublemint Twins. Yummy.

Hall of Fame Broadcaster
Chicago - Harry Caray
Philly - Harry Kalas
Advantage - Philly. Kalas takes this category for Philadelphia based on loyalty and longevity. He was the Phillies broadcaster for 38 years. Harry is the voice of Philadelphia and the Phillies. Caray, on the other hand, was consistent with his location. He spent 25+ years in Chicago, split between the Cubs and White Sox. But he spent nearly as much time calling games for the Cubs arch rivals, the St. Louis Cardinals. Think Kalas would have left to go call Mets games after being in Philly for 25 years? I don't think so.

Losing Tradition
Chicago - The longest title drought in major professional sports history. That is one hell of a cursed goat...
Philly - Most losses in professional baseball history.
Advantage - Philly. The Cubs haven't even been to a World Series since 1945. That's way worse than merely losing a lot of games. Especially when the Phillies are currently WFC.

Outfield Wall Composition
Chicago - Ivy covered red brick.
Philly - Typical green padded wall.
Advantage - Philly. If Aaron Rowand would have been the Cub's centerfielder a few years back he would have died.

Name of Tall Building
Chicago - Willis Tower
Philly - Comcast Center
Advantage - Chicago. The Sears Tower was recently renamed the Willis Tower in honor of Bruce Willis and the the 20 year anniversary of the release of "Die Hard." Props to Chicago for honoring the greatest action star of our generation and the greatest movie to never win an Oscar. Yippie kay-yay, Chicago.

Needs English Lessons
Chicago - Balki Bartokomous. Balki, the Chicago resident and former shepherd from the island of Mypos, often gives advice to "cousin Larry" in very broken English.
Philly - Gary "Sarge" Matthews. When Sarge speaks, it's best to write down the words and then rearrange them to so they make sentences before you actually try to comprehend what he is saying.
Advantage - Chicago. At least Balki is from another country. Sarge's only excuse is that he takes cues from Wheeler.

There you have it. The numbers never lie. Put another series win down for the fightin' Phils.

Corey

16 comments:

GM-Carson said...

In regards to Die Hard/Bruce Willis, McLain utters- "With all things being equal, I'd rather be in Philadelphia."

Hope Rodrigo Lopez pitches well again tonight, putting less stress/urgency on getting Pedro ready.

GM-Carson said...

Both the Cubs and Phils are hot heading into this series and are riding win streaks (Cubs- 4, Phils- 8), so something has got to give. I just hope it's a Lou Pinella ejection, a Milton Bradley meltdown, and a Carlos Zambrano tirade.

Matthew said...

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Dr. Steve said...

The Reed Review looks like a highly reputable and impressive site.

What do you mean by "expand into baseball" though? It looks like a poorly done hockey site with a huge baseball. I can't navigate my way around it at all. Hell, www.flyers.com is done better than this.

philly_phanatic said...

Thanks so much for commenting, I can't wait for the Phils' Cubs game tonight, the Phils' home record is 22-23 so who knows if they pull off a win. Let's hope. Could you follow me? I will follow you...

Dr. Steve said...

JA Happ is in the top 10 in ERA in the National League.

How can we trade him for Halliday? I mean, it'd have to be a more or less straight up trade at this point. He's dominating. And people are acting like Halliday demands a six person trade.

The more the Phillies do well, the less I want Halliday. Especially since I can't spell the guy's name.

GM-Carson said...

Damn this team is hot!

Jeremy said...

I've been hit and miss on reading this season but I know next to nothing about Lopez. Fill me in?

SirAlden said...

Dear Jeremy,

Lopez was a HORSE for Baltimore years back, he was injured and still took the ball so the team's bullpen would not be harmed resulting in 19 losses, after some pretty good years.

He was the player got for Vincente Padilla when the Phillies (Dallas Green) dumped him
for nothing Lopez who arm had fallen off. That was 3-4 years ago. He had Surgery.

The Phillies liked him when he had an arm for Baltimore and was Winning 14-16 games a year for them. I think we almost traded Pat Burrell a few times for him.

Almost out of Baseball, he took a chance with AAA Phillies and was doing medium well last month when he decided to quit, and go to Mexico where the food is better.

Our AAA Pitching Coach, talked him out of it, and after Happ, Carpenter, and Bastardo all got there chances -

Rodrigo Lopez got his shot again - and has be stellar in 3 starts!

He is very experienced and knows what he is doing. It is great to see him doing well.

SirAlden said...

To Lose Drabek or not To Lose Drabek.

That is the question.

I can see it both ways. If we do lose Drabek for Halladay, I hope the rest of the package is smaller.

Dr. Steve said...

The way the Phillies are playing, any trade for Halliday would be a lot smaller than in the past.

I'd rather keep Marson and Taylor if we trade for Halliday, as I am more concerned with keeping our offense hot (and getting a good hitting catcher). But honestly, I don't know how much we need him if he's going to cost us serious prospects.

GM-Carson said...

Lopez has be terrific. Pedro isn't going to pitch that good.

Jay Ballz said...

Balki rules!!!

Jeremy said...

Thanks for the info.

tamtam said...

shame on you two! you didn't cover food! chicago pizza and hot dogs will kill philly cheesesteaks anyday!

GM-Carson said...

Watch your slanderous mouth!