Monday, June 08, 2009

Lost In Translation - A Letter From The Pirates

Huntington: “On the heels of this Wednesday's trade with the Atlanta Braves, I felt it was important that you hear directly from me..”
Translation: “Hear from me, but not see me. Especially, not out in the open. I know many Pirate fans are hunters or ex-military and are expert marksmen from even very long distances. Therefore, I shall email my minions…”

Huntington: “We knew this move was not going to be popular in the clubhouse with our players or among our fan base”
Translation: “Our players and fans are smarter than I am, but I traded McLouth anyway, because I can. And I hate all of you.”

Huntington: “The quality and quantity of the players we received in this trade was the crucial component to this trade.”
Translation: “Allow myself to introduce…myself…and the three players we got for Nate. Count ‘em up. One. Two. Three. That, my friends, is quantity.”

Huntington: “these players… are highly regarded by us and by most within the industry.”
Translation: “We think they are good and the Braves told us that they think they are awesome. They also said that the Yankees, Red Sox, Dodgers and Phillies all really wanted them. In fact, the Braves said that the Mets offered Johan Santana and Carlos Beltran for Charlie Morton alone, but they couldn’t take on that much salary so they passed on the deal. So, it looks to me like we totally made a good trade.”

Huntington: “Additionally, Andrew McCutchen has proven that he is ready to take the next step…”
Translation: “McCutchen is ready now. He wasn't ready two months ago when I fed you guys a bunch of crap about 'development' and 'growth' and convinced you idiots it wasn't about 'super-two' status. But he's ready now that it won't cost us as much money. Suckers."



GM-Carson said...

How is it that he's allowed to GM a MLB team?

Aaron said...

why do people keep signing Adam Eaton?
Maybe he will get a start in Philly this year after all.

I'm still pissed about the LA series.

It is absolutely ridiculous that we still have a 4 man bench. Tashner hasn't pitched in like 2 weeks, just send him down already and call somebody cervanak. NOT MAYBERRY he's not ready.

Let's sweep the Mutts, they have been kicking our asses the last two years in the regular season. And FINALLY, FINALLY the have to face Cole Hamels in a series..........and of course for the 700th straight series with the Mets we have to face Darth Santana.