Sunday, May 10, 2009

What the hell?

2009 Philadelphia Phillies Pitching:
*5.44 era- last in NL
*9 quality starts- last in MLB
*53 homeruns allowed- last in MLB
*.845 OPS against- last in NL

What the hell is going on? I tried to let it slide by and chalk it up to early season struggles, but it's damn near mid-May now and they're still collectively pitching like a slow-pitch softball team. Clay Condrey and Ryan Madson are the only 2 members of the 12 man staff that are doing well. As FOX announcers so eloquently pointed out, this team is on pace to surrender the most homeruns ever, and by a large margin (pace- 307).


2009 Jimmy Rollins:

*.203 batting average
*.240 on base %
*.280 slugging %
*.520 OPS
*7 extra base hits in 118 ab
*5 walks
*1 sb, 2 caught stealing

What the hell is wrong with J-Roll? I've watched Jimmy since his rookie season of 2000, and this is by far the longest/worst stretch he's been in at the plate. He's always been pop-up prone, but he's not just a lazy fly ball to the outfield type batter anymore, he's also added the incredibly weak grounder to his repertoire. There's a new Black Hole in town this season, and it starts at the 8-hole with catcher, then 9th in the lineup with pitcher, finishing with Jimmy at leadoff. That's 3 straight gift wrapped outs to the opposition.

Game Day - Happy Mothers Day:
Brett Myers looks to add to his MLB worst 10 homeruns surrendered (currently tied with teammate Jamie Moyer). Kenshin Kawakami takes the ball for the Braves. 12:35 start with the moms getting a Jayson Werth blanket at the gate...gotta love snuggling up with that skeezy bastard.

~Carson

43 comments:

GM-Carson said...

Adam Dunn committed his 2nd "Howard" of the season, tying him for the MLB lead with Brandon Inge.

furiousBall said...

J-Roll when he slumps looks like he should be a #6 hitter, not a lead-off man. i'd like to see him take a few more pitches up there

GM-Carson said...

#6 hitter, more like bench player.

G-Dogg said...

Why you calling Jason Werth a skeezy bastard? It's uncalled for. And I bet you would snuggle up to Jason Werth if you had a chance, you butt pirate.

As for J-Roll, his season was epitomized by his first at bat yesterday, when he got out in front of a Vazquez change-up low and away when he was ahead in the count 3-1. Of course, this really isn't out of character for him. He's has stretches like this every year he's been here, except maybe his MVP year.

LORENZO said...

Moyers should have retired last year! Blanton is a cast off from the A's and isn't going to do much this year, except make a mess. I won't even waste my time talking about Chan HO. Bring in somebody new...

GM-Carson said...

I like Werth. The "skeezy" comment was for my wife, because that's what she says every time we watch the game.

Dr. Steve said...

Carson, you've missed like a week or more of Howards. I think we've already gotten a few more people with two.

We need to establish what days we missed, and have a group effort to seek them out.

Amanda said...

Looks like nobody is getting a JWerth blanket today. Accord to Zolecki, there was a coloring mishap and fans get a coupon to get one later in the year.

Chris said...

Today we return to first place.

Corey said...

my expectations of this staff are so low right now, when i turned the television on and the phils were only losing by one in the first, i was relieved.

Corey said...

Re: "Howards" - i'm pretty sure we are up to date.

braves fan said...

Braves are gonna win we will be in first in no time

braves fan said...

We just had three of years we will win 14 divisions in a row again. 28 divison titles in 31 years

Chris said...

Yunel Escobar is the BIGGEST bitch ever. I can't believe he flopped like the ball hit him when it hit the MIDDLE of the bat. Screen grabs for evidence...

http://phillieslongdrive.wordpress.com/2009/05/10/yunel-escobar-hit-by-the-pitch/

braves fan said...

come on Kelly Johnson hit a home run.

braves fan said...

Yunel hit a homer

braves fan said...

we will still win. remember 14 in a row

chan ho parking lot said...

hey braves fan shut the hell up you stupid f***

chan ho parking lot said...

It doesnt look like you can win this year the Braves suck

GM-Carson said...

The Howards are up to date. I emailed Corey when they happened, and some of the readers left comments.

Jack Taschner in the 7th? Myers was pitching well, should have left him in. Pulling him for Dobbs with 2 outs in the 6th seemed foolish at the time, now it looks down right retarded. Charlie starting to making dumb decision that plagued this team his first two seasons here.

GM-Carson said...

Myers has 3 hits and 1 walk on the season while Dobbs has only 4 hits and 2 walks on the season. Thing is, Brett has had 14 less bats than Greg. Brett should have hit for himself and stayed in the game. Dumbass Manuel is back!

Chris said...

Here we go with Lidge again...

GM-Carson said...

Middle Finger Awards-
*Jimmy Rollins for going 0-5.
*Charlie Manuel for pulling Brett Myers after 6 innings of 1 run ball and only 92 pitches.
*Jack Taschner for 2 r in 0.2 ip.
*Ruben Amaro for trading for Taschner
*Brad Lidge for continued suckage.

I only have 2 middle fingers so I'm going to need to enlist some help.

Chris said...

I volunteer both my middle fingers. Is it time to bring the Trashner picture back out?

Rich Baxter said...

The Phillies lost today and Mom's didn't receive the blankets that were promised to them. I don't know which hurts more?

Read more on my blog

www.fightinphillies.comRich

GM-Carson said...

Dunn with back-to-back days of the "Howard". Way to go!

mets 2009 wrold series champs said...

Everyone in PA are rednecks

mets 2009 wrold series champs said...

They keep saying the Howard that must mean something in south. stupid hicks

chan ho parking lot said...

I know they are all rednecks.

jason werthless said...

they cling to their guns and religions

mets 2009 wrold series champs said...

the phillies fans on this site must be ditch diggers.

mets 2009 wrold series champs said...

Carson are you a ditch digger or a farmer.

chan ho parking lot said...

he is a taxidermy

jason werthless said...

I know carson is a stupid redneck

mets 2009 wrold series champs said...

carson do you have a blood hound to protect your property.

stupid PA rednecks said...

mets 09 of course he does he is from PA everyone has a blood hound in PA

mets 2009 wrold series champs said...

chan ho when you went to the game sunday. was there alot of red necks there

chan ho parking lot said...

all of them were. I felt like i was in a Jerry springer audience. they had horrible annoying southern accents. When I came home I started to talk like a cowboy. I was sitting next to one gut who's name was billy bob he had overalls on. All hicks i was in hill billy land.

mets 2009 wrold series champs said...

LOL

chan ho parking lot said...

They all smelled too I think they were working in the fields before the game. I counldnt wait for the game to end.

mets 2009 wrold series champs said...

what white trash phillies fans are

chan ho parking lot said...

I dont think carson is writing to us beacuse he is probally going hunting

Burton said...

I wonder if they can spell 'world' in Mets land. Clearly not. When was the last time they won a 'wrold championship?'