Friday, May 01, 2009

Tale of the Tape - New York

Let's get it on.

Punk Rock Music
New York - The Ramones, the most influential rock band since The Beatles, hailed from Queens. But if that isn't enough, consider the hardcore scene and bands like H2O, Sick Of It All, Cro-Mags, CIV, Gorilla Biscuits, Agnostic Front, Murphy's Law and many more.
Philly - Philly band The Loved Ones are in high rotation on my playlist right now. The Dead Milkmen were pretty cool. And the Trocadero might be the best place on the planet to see a show.
Advantage - New York. Nothing beats The Ramones.

New York - Delicious. If you remember, Michael Scott (Dunder Mifflin regional manager and former owner of the Michael Scott Paper Company) likes to hit up Sbarro's when he's in the city, but I find Ray's Pizza (the one on Prince Street) to be a better example of a tasty New York pie.
Philly - I spent four years eating $5 large pies from Mario's on 19th and Olney. They make their pizza from frozen dough, tomato paste and government cheese.
Advantage - New York.

New York - Delicious. I prefer an "everything" with cream cheese.
Philly - Not all Philly bagels are bad...but not that many are really good, either.
Advantage - New York.

Public Transit Nuisance
New York - Getting shot by Colin Ferguson while sitting on the LIRR.
Philly - There used to be this one-legged guy that rode the Orange Line who sold bootlegged DVDs. If you didn't want a DVD, he would ask you for food. One time, I gave him half my sandwich. He hopped away without saying "thank you."
Advantage - Philly.

Battle of Anthropomorphized Statues
New York - Statue of Liberty.
Philly - Rocky.
Advantage - Philly. Checking in a 8 1/2 feet tall, Rocky would seem to have a significant and insurmountable size disadvantage to the 150 feet tall mammoth from Ellis Island. But remember, "Lady Liberty" is French! Rocky needs just a couple of shots to the robe, and that bitch will throw in the towel.

Football Teams
New York - Zero.
Philly - The Eagles.
Advantage - Philly.

Cosby Connection
New York - In The Cosby Show, Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable lived with his family in a brownstone in New York. One of Cosby's "television children" was the lovely and talented Lisa Bonet.
Philly - The Philadelphia born and Temple educated Cosby still owns a home in suburban Philly.
Advantage - Philly. Philly has the real Cosby, which beats the fake Cosby and Lisa Bonet...barely.

Regional Colloquialism
New York - "Fuggetaboutit"
Philly - "Yo"
Advantage - Philly. "Yo" can be used in almost as many ways as the f-bomb. "Fuggetaboutit," on the other hand, makes you sound like a retarded monkey. No offense to monkeys.

My Favorite Place To Drink
New York - The Bohemian Hall beer garden on 24th St. in Astoria. They have a wide selection of German and Czech beers at reasonable (for NYC) prices, along with abundant outdoor seating and a great overall atmosphere.
Philly - In college, I would say Arenas in East Falls or Chemistry in Manyunk. They are both gone. I also liked the German bar Ludwig's in Center City. It's gone too. Now, I would say that Monk's is my go-to place. A great selection of draft and bottled beers and the best mussels and pommes frites in the city.
Advantage - New York.There are very few things in New York that I like and this is one of my favorites. I don't know of a similar place in Philly, which is unfortunate.

The numbers, and my subjective opinion, never lie. The Phils take another one, 5-4.



Dr. Steve said...

You gave so much to New York. I personally despise that God forsaken city. I was upset at the ending to Batman Begins.

It's a smelly, overrated rathole. It's got nothing remarkable about it, small sidewalks, horrible traffic layouts, and the price of living is stupidly high. It's a horrible, horrible place.

GM-Carson said...

I had forgotten how hot at one time Lisa Bonnet was...smokin!

Kevin McGuire said...

have done "Worse Collapse - '64 Phillies or 2007-2008 Mets" if you wanted to even it up a little bit.

GM-Carson said...

The Mets '07 collapse was worse, so does that mean the Phils get credit for the category?

GM-Carson said...

Minor League Updates:
AAA- Cooch Ruiz went 2-3 yesterday. Jason Donald is only batting .244. Kyle Kendrick went 6 scorless innings, dropping his era to 2.77. Tyler Walker continues to mow 'em down- 5 g, 10 ip, 9 k, only 1 hit with no walks, and a 0.00 era.

AA- Michael Stutes gave up 4 runs in 2 innings, his worst outing of his professional career. Michael Taylor upped his average to .338 last night hitting 2 doubles, a homerun, and knocking in 5.

Clearwater- Yohan Flande gave up on 1 run in 6 ip, era now at 0.38. Dominic Brown is showing power and speed- 3 hr, 5 sb, .893 OPS.

Lakewood- this isn't official, but I believe Jon Velasquez leads all minor leagues with a 5-0 record.

Nick said...

A beer garden is supposed to be opening up in Northern Liberties this summer.

furiousBall said...

we used to go to the mall and make fun of the lead singer of the dead milkmen, he worked at a walden books

G-Dogg said...

Hilarious and true...however, I would have liked to see you expand on your "Football Teams" category. Specifically, you never miss a chance to make fun of New Jersey and this would have been an opportunity to give Jersey some credit for stealing NY's football teams. Jersey is more than just "hepatitis," Camden and Bruce Springsteen infatuations. We have good tomatoes. And NY's football teams.

GM-Carson said...

Did Corey strike a NJ nerve?

GM-Carson said...

Saw this on ESPN's MLB page-
Looks like we can call last year's breakout the real deal
Michael Taylor, OF, Phillies (Double-A Reading)
Thursday's stats: 3-for-5, 2 2B, HR (3), 5 RBI
After three disappointing years at Stanford, Taylor got away from the single-plane "Stanford swing" in 2008 and suddenly delivered a .346/.412/.557 season while suddenly looking like the player who in high school was one of the best tools guys in the country. A monster athlete at 6-foot-6 and 250 pounds, Taylor is batting .424 during a current seven-game hitting streak and .338/.389/.569 overall for the season. The scary part? Some think he's just starting to tap into his potential.

Aaron said...

when are these bullpen sessions for cole and lidge gonna happen?? Haven't heard anything yet and game time is fast lidge throwing out the ceremnial first ball? is that his bullpen session?

Aaron said...

jesus christ Chan Ho!!!

He can not get any more starts. Happ HAS TO TAKE HIS ROTATION SPOT!!!!!!!!!

Aaron said...

Charlie get Chan Blow out of the Damn game already!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Steve said...

I don't even want to see Park in the bullpen.

LynnieMac said...

No Golden Girls. Shitastic outing against the Mets.

Just sayin'.

GM-Carson said...

Ho Park in the rotation is looking to be a mighty mistake.

I hate the Mets so much, and watching them beat the Phils is painful. K-Rod and Reyes should just dry hump each other on the mound after a win to celebrate.

Chris said...


Charlie Manuel bobblehead caption contest.

tamtam said...

here's another retaurant in new york worth checking out. its a greek place on 50th and 9th called uncle nick's. they've got the best shish-kebobs ever :d

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