Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Crime Scene Investigation- Moyer's 2009 Season

Rich Dubee, Ruben Amaro Jr., Charlie Manuel, Inspector Gadget, Crime Dog McGruff, Sherlock Holmes, the team of CSI: Miami, and Jamie Moyer himself have been trying to solve the crime of Jamie Moyer’s disastrous 2009 season. They’ve went through all the video evidence, taken statements from witnesses, and have even opened up some cold cases from years past, but the answer still eludes them. Why is Jamie Moyer the worst starting pitcher in baseball this season? Well, not only do I dabble in GM duties, but I’m a private dick (that's what she said) on the side, and I’ve found the reason for Moyer’s mysterious downward plummet and it has nothing to due with the fact that he's 46 years old or is missing his spots with his 82 mph "fastball". The answer my friends is Burrell Priapism. For those of you not in the know, that’s Corey’s WSBGM’s Phantasy team’s name. Burrell Priapism employed Jamie Moyer on the roster up until his latest debacle to which he was promptly waived thereafter. That’s good news, because now Grand Pappy is free from the shackles that bind him, and he can return to his 2008 form and be picked up by some other fantasy team manager. Just watch, 6 innings, 2 runs, and more importantly 1 win tonight for Moyer against the Reds.

~Carson

7 comments:

GM-Carson said...

Phils claimed 26 year old righthanded relief pitcher Steven Register off waivers from the Colorado Rockies. He pitched briefly and unsuccessfully for them last season. He hasn't really been all that good in the minors, so I can't see him helping Lehigh Valley let alone the Phils.

Corey said...

1) I should have known the 87 year old Moyer would not perfrom for "Burrell Priapism." Maybe "Harry Kalas Cialis" would have been a more appropriate name.

2) if she says "I'm a private dick," then she may not be who you think she is.

GM-Carson said...

Corey- I think you just created your team name for WSBGM's Phantasy League 4...Harry Kalas Cialis. I dig it.

GM-Carson said...

1 inning 1 run already, not good. Maybe it wasn't Corey's fault after all.

Bob D said...

6 innings 3 runs not all that bad

nhermansader said...

Am I obligated to pick up Moyer since I am the Grand Pappies?

GM-Carson said...

Yes, obligation is yours my friend.