The Phils open up a weekend series with the Padres tonight. Who has the edge? Let the "Tale of the Tape" answer that...
San Diego - To Tijuana for a donkey show.
Philly - Across the Ticony-Palmyra bridge to buy beer.
Advantage - Philly. Donkey shows are great, but you're at risk of getting shot or catching hepatitis every time you cross the border. In Jersey, only your hepatitis risk increases.
San Diego - Either by charter boat or at Sea World.
Philly - The NovaCare Complex, The Linc, Ishkabibble's or any other spot frequented by Andy Reid.
Advantage - San Diego.
San Diego - Oscar Gamble. He only played one year in the Padres outfield, but that 'fro made an impression.
Philly - Bake McBride.
Advantage - Push. There are no losers in the land of the 'fro.
For The Kids
San Diego - Legoland.
Philly - Sesame Place.
Advantage - Philly. I'm a big fan of Legos, but the kids love Elmo.
San Diego - The Chicken.
Philly - The Phanatic.
Advantage - Philly. Best. Mascot. Ever. Don't believe me? It's been voted on.
Annual Assembly of Losers
San Diego - Comic-Con.
Philly - The Eagles.
Advantage - Push. Nothing to be proud of here.
The numbers never lie and they are saying that the Phillies, with their 3-1-2 victory in the TotT, should take at least two from the Padres this weekend.