Monday, January 12, 2009

NO-mar !!!

Step 1 - Adjust arm band. Tap home plate with bat. Touch helmet bill, then end of bat, then back to helmet bill. Make the sign of the cross across his jersey. Balance bat on his right shoulder and yank left hand glove, then right hand glove, then left hand glove, then right hand glove, then left hand glove, then right hand glove, then left hand glove, then right hand glove, then left hand glove, then right hand glove. Dig cleats into the box with a twist and rotate bat in tight counterclockwise circles.

Step 2 - Allow the pitcher to throw a pitch.

Repeat - Repeat Step 1.

Please Mr. Amaro Jr., for the love of people who cannot stand watching others indulge in their obsessive-compulsive behaviors, do not sign Nomar Garciaparra. I don't care if the Phils do need a right handed bat off the bench and some infield depth because Utley had surgery, watching this guy prepare for every pitch will drive many fans insane.

But if you must, at least put a provision in his contract that will make him take some sort of SSRI...



GreggyD said...

I wouldn't mind seeing Nomar in a Phillies uniform. I think he still has something left in the tank. Hey, I'd rather see him on the bench than Mike Cervenak or So Taguchi. Also, it'd be nice to have at least one righty on the team.

SirAlden said...

No-Mar is a recovering 'roid user.

So he is very injury prone. However he killed lefthanded pitching last year, was stronger after the All-Star Break, Raked in Sept, was run out at SS, 3B, 1B (defense replacement for Howard) and could play second get like 250-350 ABs, and he is an I-talian who would be playing in South Philly.

Go For It!

SirAlden said...

Fly Eagles Fly!
On the Road to Victory.
Fight! Eagles Fight!
Score those Touchdowns 1,2,3.
Hit 'em Low!, Hit 'em High!
And Watch the Giants DIE!
Fly Eagles Fly!
On the Road to Victory!

E.A.G.L.E.S. EAGLES!!!!!!!!!!!

GM-Carson said...

Let's root for an Eagles-Steelers Super Bowl, that way PA wins no matter what.

Garciaparra is a decent bench guy at this stage in his career, but Corey is right, dude is down right annoying.

Bob D said...

But campaign cheer will break No-mar of his OCD disorder.

Agreed Nomar would be an improvement for the bench. Then we would have both brothers in the system.

Bob D said...

I was looking up a few of the players from the Abreu trade and they are listed as prospects #83 Monterious,94 Made, and 95 Sanchez. The key to the trade is now back with the Yankees after being cut by the Phils. We could resign Abreu and trade him again at the deadline.

GM-Carson said...

Wait, we traded Abreu? I thought Gillick just gave him to the Yankees out of kindness.

furiousBall said...

as a fellow GT alum, I'm all for Nomar

GM-Carson said...

FuriousBall a Yellow Jacket.

I was a Bucknell Bison, and Corey a LaSalle Explorer.

What were/are others?

Andrew said...

A Dickinson Red Devil here!

Andrew said...

currently a Johns Hopkins Blue Jay though... I liked being a Devil better.

Aaron said...

Elizabethtown College Fightin' Amish.

GM-Carson said...

Nomar, or Ramon backwards, just took one step closer to becoming a Phillies as the Rays signed Gabe Kapler, who was their other righthanded target.


UMass-Amherst Minuteman

Nomar is nomore. Waste of money and time.

And there should be a rule against the ridiculousness he calls a ritual. I don't have seven hours it can take to watch him for one at-bat.

LynnieMac said...

T...for Temple U
Fight, fight, fight for the cherry & the white...

Please, Mr. Wade, Jr. No Nomar.

njh723 said...

virginia tech here.

i dont see the big deal about nomar. for a one year deal, isn't he an upgrade over jenkins or stairs?

Dan said...

Princeton University Tigers, baby!

Also: does anyone watch 24 (dumb question, I bet)? One of Bauer's enemies in Episode 2 (e.g., the 2nd hour of Sunday night's premiere) looked EXACTLY LIKE PAT BURRELL. If you watched the show, I know you noticed this. It was eerie, I was actually half-wondering if somehow Pat scored a ridiculously good cameo as his first role in acting.

Please, somebody respond, so I know that I'm not going completely batty about Pat the Bat.

GreggyD said...

Millersville University Marauder

def: marauder - a land pirate in search of booty. not too shabby.

GM-Carson said...

Dan, I watch 24, but do not remember the bad guy you reference.