This Really Bobbles My Head...

Take a look at tonight's bobblehead of Jamie Moyer (free to all attending fans). With all the modern day technology at the disposal of the media relations and marketing department you mean to tell me they couldn't create a better likeness of Grand Pappy. Seriously, they didn't even make him look old, which is probably the easiest thing besides the color of his skin to get correct. At least they do have him pitching with the left hand, so I guess not all is lost. This promotional item/giveaway is in remembrance of Moyer's fine performance on September 30th of last season to help clinch the NL East crown. Since joining the Phils in August of 2006, Jamie has won 20 games and hasn't missed a scheduled start (that's really saying something for the elder statesman of MLB). It's fitting that he pitches tonight on the day of his inception into the bobblehead kingdom. I'm rooting for you Jamie, and I hope the offense gives you something to work with...go Phils!

___________________________________

Real Writers Hate Bloggers:
Below is a video of Costas Now where Buzz Bissinger, author of Friday Night Lights, goes off on one of the dudes from DeadSpin. Basically it all boils down to Buzz being a sanctimonious pompous asshole and declaring blogs to be the filth and downfall of our great nation. Best moment, hearing Bob Costas utter "f**kface". The NOFX reminder at the bottom of the screen is classy too, love me some drugged-up punkers!

~Carson.

Who's Your Daddy?

The San Diego Friars roll into Philly for a 3 game set starting tonight at the friendly confines of The Brick Cit House. These Padres aren't your ordinary run-of-the-mill fatherly types either; they've got a pitching staff that may leave the Phils wondering if they just got spanked by their daddies. Of course, they also have an abysmal offense (2nd fewest runs scored in MLB) that offsets any good done by the pitchers. Here's to hoping their pitching staff falters and their bats stay silent.

Pitching Matchups:
Tonight our left-handed ace Cole Hamels (2-3, 2.75 era, 1.08 whip) toes the rubber against a man with 323 more career victories than him. Yep, Mr. Six-Inches-Off-the-Plate Greg Maddux is still pitching, and pitching well with a 2-1 record on the season and a 3.66 era and 1.06 whip. The man truly is one of the best pitchers of all-time regardless of broadened strikezone. Wednesday the Major's oldest player Grand Pappy Moyer (1-1, 4.05, 1.73) at 45 years of age opposes his complete opposite in Chris Young (1-2, 3.77, 1.40)...I know weak joke. To wrap the series up Adam Eaton tries to actually factor in a decision (0-0, 5.08, 1.41), while the return of Wolf Pack Randy (2-1, 3.68, 1.06) takes the park by storm. The Padres always seem to play the Phils tough, so I expect hard fought low scoring battles over the next few days, with the Phils hopefully coming out on top. Of note- Shane Victorino is supposedly returning this evening, but in what capacity (starting CF or RF) is yet to be determined.

_____________________________________

Waiver Claim:
With the Triple A Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs suffering through loss after loss, Gillick plucked infielder Oscar Robles off waivers from the visiting Padres. Oscar can play second, short, and third and has played parts of the past 3 seasons with the Dodgers and Padres batting .260 over 163 games. He has less power than a dead 9-volt, but in the minors he's drawn far more walks than strikeouts (277/144). This may just be a regular old minor league move, but something about Jimmy Rollins still being DL'd and the timing of this transaction scare me.

~Carson

WSBGM's Down on the Farm

Time for a Phillies farm system report, sponsored by Bob Evans...yum, sausage!

Triple A: Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs- this team sucks. Seriously, I tallied up their record and it's 3 wins to 239 losses. Usually AAA serves as an insurance policy for the parent club, but if the Lil' Piggies are insurance for the Phils, they better hire a lawyer and get ready for a false advertisement lawsuit. 31 year old journeyman Mike Cervenak is the only batter with an average .280 or better. JD Durbin now has a 9.61 era through 5 starts and Travis Blackley is trying to top his ineffectiveness with a 6.64 era. Steve Kline, Matt Childers, Ron Chiavacci, Gary Knotts, and Brian Mazone are the only pitchers with eras below 4.00. Like I said before, this team sucks. The only way this team could get worse is if Gillick went and picked up the original no-talent ass-clown Danny Sandoval, No-Hit Nunez, and Paul Abbott to round out this roster of losers.

Double A: Reading Phillies- I'm heading over to City Island Friday night to scout this talented group of youngsters when they face the Harrisburg Senators. Greg Golson continues to put past struggles behind him and excel at the plate this season with a .312 average along with his normal game of moderate power and tremendous speed. Joining him in excellence are recently promoted Jake Blalock (brother of Hank), Jason Donald, and Jeremy Slayden. Donald had a 2 homerun game in spring training and is beginning to become a legitimate positional prospect. Slayden is a hidden gem, as this is his 4th year in the minors and he's done nothing but hit at every level (career .294 avg./.864 OPS). In the pitching department are promising hurlers Carlos Carrasco, Josh Outman, and Fabio Casto. Carrasco is highly touted, but Outman and Castro are nearly as young and all 3 will play a part in Philly's future withing the next two seasons (as trade bait or winning games). Relievers RJ Swindle and Pat Overholt are turning heads with their performances, so keep those names in mind.

Single A (High): Clearwater Threshers- heading into the 2008 minor league season Adrian Cardenas was the sole Phillies positional prospect. Luckily for the Phils, others are joining him on the prospect list, but regardless Adrian remains the cream of the crop in Phils minor league batters. It's clear as day that Clearwater is where some serious pitching talent is kept, as last year's #1 pick Joe Savery transferred his success from Rice straight over to the minors, now sporting a 2.25 era. However, the real eye-grabber in Florida is a real bastard. Everyone's favorite prospect Tony Bastard is awesome. Lefty Antonio Bastardo is now 12-0 in his professional career striking out more than a batter per inning and keeping his era below 2.50 (2.22).

Single A (Middle): Lakewood Blueclaws- the funky lobsters have some skilled hitters in the Michaels (Taylor and Durant) as well as Dominic Brown. Taylor was drafted out of Standford last season and didn't really do much in rookie ball last year. He's on fire this season though, .356 average and .905 OPS. Starting pitchers Tyson Brummett, Drew Naylor, and Chance Chapman are doing a fine job thus far, and reliever Jared Simon already has notched 4 wins and 2 saves.

~Carson

Get Away Day?

Would you be happy with a 5-2 record on a 7 game roadie? I would be. And I'm pretty sure the Phils would be too, because they went into PNC on Sunday and played the final game of their trip like they couldn't wait to take their 5 wins and head back to Philly.

Some credit must go to southpaw Paul Maholm though, who pitched a gem. The Phils managed only a Pat Burrell double and Eric Bruntlett single, both coming in the 5th inning. Burrell also smashed a liner to left that was tracked down by Jason Bay. Other than that...nothing. The ugly facts:

- The team was 2-26 overall.
- Mendoza Watch: Five of the eight position players that started yesterday are hitting below .220 - So Taguchi, Carlos Ruiz, Ryan Howard, Pedro Feliz, Eric Bruntlett.
- Brett Myers has a worse ERA than Gavin Eaton. And how Myers-esque was it that he walks the opposing pitcher, loses focus, and gives up a dinger to the next batter.
--------------------------
Pirates Pay Morris To Not Pitch
Subtititled: If you don't have anything good to throw, don't throw at all.

Like Jason Kendall before him, Matt Morris will get paid huge dollars to NOT play for the Pirates after the Buccos determined his best contribution to the team would be to not contribute at all.

At first I felt bad for Morris. He seems like a nice enough guy and getting booed off the mound to end your career is a little sad. But then I remembered the $10 mil, and I don't feel so bad anymore...

The move to send $10 million home cements last seasons trade with the Giants not only as Dave Littlefield's worst, but possibly the worst in Pirates history.

The release of Morris opens a spot on the roster and in the starting rotation. Maybe they can tap that great resource in San Francisco and get Barry Zito. He's a great pitcher who doesn't make too much money...

Corey

Sweet Sunday Sweep

After taking games one and two from the Pirates the past two days, the Phils are on the cusp on their first 3-game sweep on the season. Brett "The Hitman" Myers opposes lefty Paul Maholm. A sweep would be sweet because it would likely place them atop the NL East with a 15-11 record (assuming Florida finally loses) and make this month of April a winning one. Before the season started, and even in its opening month, I have undercut this team's value by predicting only 82 wins and finding things to whine and complain about (can't help it, it's my nature). Even with a winning April there is still much to bitch about, but for today I'll harp on the positives rather than the negatives.

*The offense is ranked 6th in MLB with 123 runs scored and 1st with 40 homeruns. That is outstanding considering they've played without Jimmy Rollins, Shane Victorino, and essentially Ryan Howard for a large portion of the season. Pat Burrell, Chase Utley, and Jayson Werth deserve a round of applause for their efforts.

*Despite slander heaped upon the pitching staff they've risen above the condemnation to sport a 3.70 era, which is good enough for 5th in MLB. The bullpen is guiding the way with the 2nd best era in MLB as a group, headed by JC Romero, Brad Lidge, Rudy Seanez, and the rebirth of Tom Gordon (still holding out of calling him "Flash").

*Happy Birthday to Pedro Feliz who turns Too-old-to-hit. Funny, I don't remember learning that digit in our number system.

*3 in a row, at least make it 4...keep on streakin'!

~Carson

It's Official, The Pirates Suck

It's nice that the Phils can have Bruntlett, Harman, Taguchi and Gavin Eaton in the starting lineup and still win a game. However, I think this was more of a reflection on the futility of the Pirates than the greatness of these Philly scrubs. As a fan of both teams who rarely gets to watch a Buccos game (thanks MLB blackout restrictions!), it was sickening to see the state of the Pirates. A first basemen hitting worse than Ryan Howard. A former batting champion hitting .212. Doug Mientkiewicz at third base? Seriously? There are no better options anywhere?
-------------------------
Howard Contributes Some K
In his two "off-days", Howard is 0-3 with three K's. I think this situation has been handled poorly by Charlie Manuel. As if striking out twice on his first day off wasn't enough, Charlie decides to run Howard out last night against notorious lefty-killer Damaso Marte. The odds Howard, in the midst of the worst slump of his career, comes off the bench in the eighth and has a quality AB against a tough lefty? Very low. There is a cliche about managers "putting players in position to succeed." Well, Manuel set Howard up for failure. And now he's had the two worst off-days imaginable.
-------------------------
She's A Hurdler
Jayson Werth, who has been doing a great job filling in for the injured Shane Victorino, went yard again last night. However, it unfortunately was not followed by a shot of his mom celebrating the dinger. So from now on, every Jayson Werth homer will be celebrated with this...


Corey

Phlashback Phriday: Gary Varsho

In honor of the upcoming series between the State buddies Phillies and Buccos, WSBGM's has decided to pay tribute to a Phucco...hello Gary Varsho! Varsho has spent time in both organizations as a player and coach, currently employed as bench coach for Pittsburgh (also bench coach for Phils as recently as 2006). Gary's playing days lasted 8 illustrious season from the time he started as a Cub back in 1988 until the day he retired a Phillie in 1995. In between Chicago and Philly were two stops with the Pirates and one with the Reds. Career line: 571 gm, 101 r, 204 h, 41 dbl, 11 trpl, 10 hr, 84 rbi, 27 sb, .244 avg, and .649 OPS all while doing mostly pinch-hitting with occasional time at all three outfield positions. Of note, Varsho holds a .667 playoff batting average going 2-3 in the '91 and '92 postseason with the Buccos.













______________________________________

Showdown in PA:
The Philadelphia Phillies (12-11) travel to Pittsburgh for a 3 game set against the Pirates (9-13) starting Friday night at 7:05 in beautiful and underrated PNC Park. Match-ups: Friday- Adam Eaton (0-0, 4.74 era, 1.34 whip) vs. Zach Duke (0-1, 4.37, 1.77), Saturday- Kyle Kendrick (1-2, 5.59, 1.81) vs. Matt Morris (0-3, 9.15, 1.98), and Sunday- Brett Myers (2-1, 4.78, 1.31) vs. Paul Maholm (1-2, 4.22, 1.50).

Phils Jackpots: Pat Burrell (.355 avg/1.224 OPS), Chase Utley (.385/1.288), Jayson Werth (.300/.958), Greg Dobbs (.355/.992), and Chris Coste (.370/1.172).

Buccos Jackpots: X-Man Nady (.337/.919), Nate McLouth (.333/.978), Ryan Doumit (.344/.943), Ronny Paulino (.290/.726), and Jason Bay (.270/.859).

Phils Bankrupts: Geoff Jenkins (.225/.600), Pedro Feliz (.213/.654), Carlos Ruiz (.194/.484), Eric Bruntlett (.207/.534), and Ryan Howard (.176/.638). Of note- Mr. Ten Million Dollar Man Ryan Howard has only 7 hits in 63 at bats against the Pirates for a .111 batting average with no homeruns, only 4 rbi, 31 k's, and a piss poor .303 OPS.

Buccos Bankrupts: Freddy Sanchez (.227/.513), Luis Rivas (.188/.433), Doug Mientkiewicz (.212/.606), Brian Bixler (.158/.390), Adam LaRoche (.149/.454), Jose Bautista (.178/.525), and Nyjer Morgan (.130/.433).

*Each team sucks at fielding, 21 errors for the Phils and 25 for the Pirates.

*My prediction, the Phils are going to get hot and sweep this series and build a strong foundation for their first winning April in quite some time.

~Carson

WTF Chuck?!

What the f@#k Chuck?! The curse of the dumbass finally broke through this season as Charles Fuqua Manuel notched his first loss of the season. Overall, I was pleased with Manuel's managing through April. He had done some questionable things prior to last night's mess, but every manager is going to make a few bad decision over the course of a 162 game season. However, last night he was downright retarded; leaving a gassed Cole Hamels in to begin the 8th inning after he had already thrown 110+ pitches was stoo-pid! Vegetarian Prince Fielder took Hamel's meatball deep into the night for his second homerun of the game, leaving the Phils with a 1 run deficit. Good job Charlie, way to use your brain on that one.

Rest of the game- Chase Utley and Pat Burrell went bar hopping against the Brew Crew, giving them 18 combined homeruns. Greg Dobbs also nailed a 2-run blast, but once again the Phils could only score on longballs, guess they're not any good at "small ball". Jayson Werth was worthless in the 9th inning stranding So Taguchi at 3rd with only one out. Werth also may have cost the Phils another run when he was caught stealing at 3rd base after a leadoff double. Ryan Howard continue his torrid pace to being a complete waste going 0-4. Cole Hamels committed an error, that's 742 errors on the season for the Phightins now. That error and Fielder's 1st inning homer put the Phils in an early hole, but rumor has it Cole went back into the clubhouse for a readjustment from his chiropractor. All in all, it was a game the Phils should have won easily, but instead they screwed up and fell back to .500. Chance at redemption this afternoon with a 1:05 matinee pinning Grand Pappy Moyer against equally crafty right-hander Jeff Suppan. Go Phils!

~Carson

High Fives for #5

You're my boy Burrell, you're my boy! Pat Burrell and Chase Utley continue to see-saw back and forth between MVP of the NL. I know it's premature to start pontificating about postseason accolades, but these two are having phenomenal Aprils and that cannot be overstated. Last night The Bat plated So Taguchi, Utley, and Ryan Howard in the top of the 9th to secure the lead for the Phils, and then Brad Lidge came in to shut the Rox down to earn his 4th save of the season and put the Phils 1 game over sea level (11-10). It's time to give some high fives to our #5.

~Carson

Care for a cup?

Pat Burrell and Chase Utley are dominating the National League. The two have combined for 30 runs, 52 hits in 145 at bats (.359 batting average), 12 doubles, 16 homeruns, 37 rbi, 2 stolen bases (all Utley there), 23 walks, and an averaged OPS of 1.236. Go around the rest of the Majors and it's doubtful that any other tandem can stack up numbers that compare to these two. Since Jimmy Rollins was crowned 2007 NL MVP, Phans have been clamoring for Chase Utley's turn to garner the Phils their 3rd straight MVP this season (Ryan Howard 2006 NL MVP). However, as things stand right now Chase has stiff competition from bad boy Burrell. Although Utley is more likely to keep the higher average and not go through slumps as often as Burrell, there's reason to be optimistic that Burrell has become a wiser batter at the plate and learned something from all those struggles he's had in the past. Whether this goes on all season, or ends tomorrow, I've thoroughly enjoyed it thus far and will continue chugging the Kool-Aid...Care for a cup?

_______________________________________

Now That's A Jersey:
Stephen Colbert is attempting to corner the Philadelphia market with this special jersey that has all 4 major sports teams on it. Wise time to do it too, because the 76ers and the Flyers are in the thick of the playoffs, while the Eagles are setting up for Draft Day, and the Phils just began their defense of the NL East crown.

________________________________________

CLUB ZERO:
Last night's winner Rudy Seanez hasn't allowed an earned run nor a hit this season in 7 appearances. He now has 2 of the Phils 10 wins and owns a brilliant 0.00 era. Joining him in the exclusive CLUB ZERO are fellow bullpen mates JC Romero and Brad Lidge. Just like Pat Burrell above, it's highly doubtful this dominance will continue for an entire season, but right now it's a pleasant surprise that fans should be relishing because the bullpen was supposed to be a glaring deficit of the team (still could prove to be).

_________________________________________




Happy Birthday Mickey Morandini!

~Carson

Phils Avoid The Broom

If you predicted "Diving stop by Bruntlett and scoop by Howard" as the play to end the game, you win a prize...

Big win for the Phils. Getting swept is bad, but getting swept by the Mets is unthinkable. Some random notes:

Gavin Eaton continues to pitch adequately. He had 5 good innings last night, and then he pitched the 6th. His ERA sits at an Eaton-esque 4.74. Pretty much as expected.

Phils had 12 hits but still scored all 5 runs on 3 long balls.

So Taguchi is the '08 version of Chris Roberson: a defensive substitution that is a defensive liability.

Special thanks go out to Luis Castillo. His inability to lay down a bunt was paramount to the Phils victory.

Ryan Howard raised his average to .186.

Forget McCain v. Obama, the biggest race this summer will be between Utley and Burrell for the Triple Crown...
--------------------------
Mike Pelfrey - Probably Retarded
So Pelfrey wears that mouthpiece so he doesn't gnaw off his tongue during the game. Don't believe me? Picture evidence...



So why does Pelfrey have macroglossia (large tongue)? Trisomy 21? Beckwith-Wiedemann syndrome?
--------------------------
Florida - The Ankle State?
So the Phillies finally put J-Roll on the DL yesterday, one day after he pinch-hit in the 4-2 loss to the Mets. This is a great example of how a team should not handle an injury. If there was a possibility that J-Roll would have to go on the DL, he should not have been playing. Now, because of that single at-bat, he won't be back until early May.

I find it difficult to believe that 1) it's going to take a month to rehab a sprained ankle and 2) they waited 11 days after an injury to put him on the DL and not have the ability to make it retroactive at all. The player, the training staff, and the coaching staff must not have been communicating effectively, because if they were all on the same page, something like this would not have happened. The Phils should be embarrassed by their management of this situation.

“In retrospect, of course it was a mistake” Phillies assistant general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. said. “But you can only go on how the guy feels.”

How he feels? Obviously he wasn't feeling to well, Rube. Well, now Rollins will feel warm, because he's going to Florida for rehab. Why? I guess they keep their best trainers with single A Clearwater.
--------------------------
Ebay Auctions of the Week
Act now before it is too late! Up for bidding are autographed photos of Phillies greats Len Matuszek and Dickie Noles.



Corey

Finger of Blame

The finger of blame is being wagged at Mr. Ten Million Dollar Man Ryan Howard. With igniters Jimmy Rollins and Shane Victorino both out of the lineup Howard is needed more than ever, but just like a midget at the checkout counter he's coming up small. Stats- 18 g, 66 ab, 9 r, 12 h, 4 hr, 9 rbi, 26 k, .182 avg, .715 OPS. Yes, he's struck out 26 times in only 18 games; that's alarming! He's becoming a one dimensional player, albeit it he's one of the games best in that dimension (power). On defense he's horrible at starting a double play, range is limited by lumbering big body, juggles more balls than a clown, and fails to block bounced throws even though he's got more width than a hockey goalie. On the base paths he's slow. At the plate it's either homerun or strikeout, with the latter outweighing the prior by a huge margin. Do I think this will last all season? No, but it's lasting right now and the Phils are losing right now, and they're currently being dominated by the Mets which makes matters all the worse.

_________________________________________

Phormer Phils Pitching:
*Vicente Padilla- 4 gs, 2 w, 26 ip, 15 k, 3.12 era, 1.54 whip.
*Randy Wolf- 3 gs, 1 w, 19 ip, 18 k, 1.42 era, 0.89 whip.
*Gavin Floyd- 3 gs, 2 w, 19.1 ip, 10 k, 1.40 era, 0.88 whip.
*Kyle Lohse- 4 gs, 2 w, 24.1 ip, 10 k, 1.48 era, 1.03 whip.
*Todd Jones- 7 g, 7 ip, 3 sv, 4 k, 1.29 era, 1.29 whip.
*Aquilino Lopez- 8 g, 1 w, 13 ip, 9 k, 0.69 era, 0.92 whip.
*Kevin Millwood- 4 gs, 1 w, 26 ip, 12 k, 2.42 era, 1.46 whip.
*Nelson Figueroa- 4 g, 2 gs, 1 w, 15 ip, 14 k, 3.60 era, 0.80 whip.
*Jon Lieber- 5 g, 2 w, 11 ip, 5 k, 1.64 era, 1.27 whip.
*Trever Miller- 8 g, 5.1 ip, 4 k, 3.38 era, 1.50 whip.
*Justin Miller- 8 g, 1 w, 11 ip, 10 k, 3.27 era, 1.18 whip.
*Gas Can Geary- 8 g, 8.1 ip, 8 k, 2.16 era, 1.08 whip.
*Billy Wagner- 7 g, 7 ip, 4 sv, 6 k, 0.00 era, 0.14 whip.
*Justin Germano- 3 gs, 20 ip, 6 k, 1.35 era, 1.00 whip.
*Carlos Silva- 4 gs, 3 w, 29 ip, 11 k, 2.79 era, 1.14 whip.
*Ryan Franklin- 10 g, 8.1 ip, 3 k, 2.16 era, 0.96 whip.

_______________________________________

John Marzano:
Former MLB catcher for the Boston Red Sox, Texas Rangers, and Seattle Mariners John Marzano was found dead in his apartment at the tender age of 45 from what is believed to be a heart attack. He played 10 seasons in 301 games with a .241 batting average and 11 homeruns. Recently Johnny Marz has been on Comcast doing baseball analysis for the Philadelphia Phillies. I always enjoyed his in-depth nonsugarcoated viewpoint; it was refreshing to hear someone tell it like it is. It's strange to think that yesterday's starting pitcher, Jamie Moyer (the elder statesman of the MLB at 45), was the same age as Marzano. Rest in peace bro.

~Carson

Phils Trade For Hatcher

The Phils have traded hitting coach Milt Thompson to the Angels for the Halos' hitting coach, Mickey Hatcher. Hatcher will assume that role in Philly, as well as being named "Special Assistant to the Defensive Coordinating Coach."

Said GM Pat Gillick of the addition, "We've tried all conventional methods to get Ryan to field the ball. Our next step: the oversized glove. We all loved Milt, but Hatcher's years of experience with the giant clown-sized glove will be invaluable in the progression of Ryan as a first baseman."

Corey

Luke Skywalker vs. Darth Vader

This is a battle as old as time itself, good versus evil, Luke Skywalker versus Darth Vader, Cole Hamels versus Johan Santana, Phillies versus Mets...let the battle for supremacy commence!

















-vs-












________________________________________

Rock 'em Sock 'em:
*Yesterday was the first truly warm day of the season and by coincidence or possibly metaphysics the bats warmed up too. Warm Weather = Warm Bats then Hot Weather = Hot Bats? Phils offense cranked out 10 in 70+ degrees yesterday, imagine what they could do in the 90's.

*Chase Utley, Ryan Howard, Pat Burrell, and Chris Coste all went deep in the 10-2 victory over the Astros. Burrell gets the vote for early season MVP with monster stats of .373 avg, 11 r, 6 hr, 17 rbi, and a 1.296 OPS. Chris Coast-to-Coste is making a strong case for more playing time with a 4 hit 3 rbi game yesterday; couple that with the fact that Chooch Ruiz is struggling, and voila you've got yourself in the lineup more often.

*Brett Myers went 7 strong innings, giving up only 1 run while punching out 8 (not literally, that wouldn't be good for his image). Brett had a rough 2 starts to begin the season but has settled down nicely over his last 2 outings.

*Incoming New York Metropolitans means incoming Mets fans, which means fights in the stands between fans and possible fights on the field between teams (in both cases, it's amusing). Of note- Mets played a grueling 14 inning 4 hour and 45 minute affair last night that hopefully works in our favor tonight.

~Carson

Please Don't...

Please don't rub it in that Michael Bourn beat the Phillies last night with his legs and bat (2 hits, 2 runs, 1 hr, 1 rbi, 1 sb).

Please don't mock the use of the words "Phillies" and "Offense" in succession (currently ranked 10th in the NL with 64 piddling runs scored).

Please don't mention that the Phillies pitching staff is ranked 8th in the Majors with a 3.55 era, yet the team that is supposed to be backed by a prolific offense is still not playing winning baseball.

Please don't bat the IZ Brothers 2nd in the lineup (No Ruiz, no Feliz, no Bruntlettiz).

Please don't tell me that the heart of the batting order struck out 1-2-3 in the 8th inning against a Rule 5 pick (Wesley Wright), with 2 of the strikeouts being on called 3rd strikes.

Please don't tease me with a Jimmy Rollins pinch-hit appearance to only have be lifted for a pinch-runner and still be "not expected to return until the weekend".

Please don't continue to swing and miss Ryan Howard, who is on a pace for a record setting 216 k's and a sub .200 batting average (he would become the only member of that infamous 200/200 club).

Please don't point out that the Nationals have only 4 wins on the season and 3 of them have come gift wrapped courtesy of the Phillies.

Please don't make excuses for this team. I don't care that the other NL East powerhouses (Brave & Mets) are struggling. I don't want to hear that this is typical Phillies baseball in April and everything will be fine come summertime. I will postmark a scud missile to anyone who thinks this type of approach to a season is successful.

Please come out and shut down the Astros for 9 innings this afternoon Brett Myers, and club a couple homeruns to assure you actually get some support to win the game.

~Carson