Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Tale of The Tape - Philly v. LA

The Phillies-Dodgers series starts tonight, and it seems that the majority of pundits are leaning heavily towards the Dodgers. For example, take a look at the ESPN.com picks. Even hometown guy Jayson Stark is feeling blue.

Why is this? Better pitching? Manny? Joe Torre? Who knows. To make my pick for the series, I'm going to compare Philadelphia and Los Angeles, stack them up "tale of the tape" style, and see who comes out on top.

Famous Landmark
Philly: Liberty Bell - A symbol of freedom and independence for the greatest country in the world. Pretty hard to beat.
LA: Hollywood sign - Narrowly beats out the giant "Randy's Donuts" donut as the most recognizable landmark in LA. That's saying something about the lack of history and tradition in LA.
Advantage: Philly

Signature Food
Philly: Cheesesteak - Quite possibly the greatest regional sandwich in the USA. Throw in other local favorites (scrapple, water ice, soft pretzels) and this category is a run-away.
LA: Crazy pizza toppings - Just because you can put avocados and tofu on a pizza, doesn't mean you should.
Advantage: Philly.

Referenced In Song
Philly: Streets of Philadelphia - It's The Boss. It's an Oscar and Grammy winning song. It's a classic and it's a winner.
LA: I Love LA - It's Randy Newman. He did his best work in Toy Story.
Advantage: Philly

Fans
Philadelphia: Much maligned. Passionate to a fault. Plenty of video evidence showing fans handing out ass-kickings to Mets fans.
LA: They show up late and leave early. The best Dodgers fans are probably still in Brooklyn.
Advantage: Philly (in a major beatdown.)

Beloved Fictional Character
Philadelphia: Rocky - He beats foreigners (Ivan Drago), he beats Americans (Mr. T, Apollo Creed) , he beats meat. He made running up steps seem like a fun thing to do.
LA: Cheech & Chong - They get high and made other people who get high laugh. Not bad work if you can get it.
Advantage: Philly. However, if LA makes a statue of Cheech or Chong, this category becomes a "push."

The numbers never lie, and the numbers say Philadelphia is the far superior city. However, if you are still in doubt, consider this. Joe Torre moves from the east coast to LA and what does he like now? Yoga, wheat grass, poodles and riding in convertibles with other men. Moreover, our manager looks and talks like Foghorn Leghorn, but even he thinks surfing in a baseball cap is stupid. Visual proof below.



Let's hope this urban superiority translates into baseball victories.

And just in case you forgot, the game starts at about 8:30 tonight and will be broadcast by FOX in fantastic Hi-Def. I will be working and following the game on the 'net, so any specific game details you guys can relay in the comments section are greatly appreciated.

Corey

52 comments:

GM-Carson said...

I nominate this as one of Corey's top 10 posts of all-time...well done.

Maria said...

It's finally Thursday! Jesus that only took what felt like a lifetime.

furiousBall said...

Randy Newman is the herpes of the music industry

GM-Carson said...

Herpes Simplex 1 or 2?

Reverend Paul Revere said...

1 or 2? Both.

ripjgarcia said...

I was reading the best song portion of that comment and thought what about "Born in East L.A." and then said said to myself, "No, thats a movie!".

And then I scroll down and you cover Cheech and Chong..

Brilliant!!

Stephanie Grace said...

Anyone see the article in the LA times yesterday:

"You spend any time in this dingy city and around these folks, and pit bulls running wild come to mind. Philly has always been more bark than championship bite, so why should the Dodgers give a hoot about folks who paint their faces and then have to drive home looking like sad clowns?"

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-simers9-2008oct09,1,5516438.column

Time to get fired up.

GM-Carson said...

Wow, f*ck the LA Times, bunch of asslicking assclowns!

Reverend Paul Revere said...

Simers wrote the same article in 2001 when the Sixers faced the Lakers in the finals. Guy is a complete joke.

GM-Carson said...

He needs to simmer down (Pun intended).

Corey said...

if randy newman is the herpes of the music industry, then tj simers is the syphilis chancre of sports journalism.

some other great quotes from that article:
"if a Philly crowd is so intimidating, why do the Phillies lose here so often?"

"the Phillies, who can only throw 100-year-old softball pitcher Jamie Moyer at the Dodgers"

"That would take the series back to the city, though, that just isn't quite up to the standards of New York or Boston"

in a very short column, simers was able to prove that he doesn't know much about philadelphia or baseball. of course, simers isn't paid to know sports, he's paid to say things that will make me angry so they come back again to "see what he'll say next," so we shouldn't expect much.

dr. steve said...

Thats a pretty tame article. But it is useful. The Flyers playoff series's were FULL of this kind of animosity and anger after every ten minutes UP UNTIL the Pittsburgh series, where the useless media in Pittsburgh couldn't write form a single sentence, and the Flyers lose.

So keep it up LA. But know that you'll never be able to compete with Washington or ESPECIALLY Montreal when it comes to hating on Philadelphia and their sports teams. But hey, you're better than Pittsburgh.

Aaron said...

The LA Times can bite my ass. I grew up in south jersey but live in San Diego now. So I have taken the trip to LA quite a few times and I can tell you first hand there is NOTHING good about the City. They sure make it look nice on t.v., but that city is a big piece of shit.
The walk of fame that leads up to the chinese theater takes about 20 minutes before your done with it and then your pretty much just standing around in a dirty neighborhood.
The Hollywood sign says Hollywood...whopdee freakin doo.
That is if you can actually see it through digusting thick black smog cloud that perpetually hangs over the city.
The traffic is rediculous you can't get anywhere in less than an hour.
Oh yeah and by the way Dodger stadium sucks too. It looks like Disney world in the 70's.
Dodger fans are rude and talk a lot of shit for the whole 3 innings that they are actually at the game.
I'll be at game 5 if the Dodgers haven't been eliminated yet.
Fuck LA.
LETS GO PHILS!!!!!!!

GM-Carson said...

The more outsiders hate on Philly the more I want the Phils to shut them up.

GM-Carson said...

Through the NLCS, lets keep all hostility directed towards the Dodgers, media, and Tim McCarver.

ripjgarcia said...

Wow, if you had told me in Spring Training that the Phillies would have home field advantage for the NLCS, I don't think I woulda bought into it... but wow... its less than 3 hours away!!!

GM-Carson said...

I respect Mark Grace more than ever right now, he just picked the Phils in 7.

GM-Carson said...

Cole with fat pitches in the 1st and Phils already losing...dumb bastard!

GM-Carson said...

Good song by punk/ska band Goldfinger called "City with Two Faces" and the entire message is "F*ck LA!".

GreggyD said...

Cole settled down now after the first and is looking good. Back to the top of the lineup for him to face in the 3rd, but he should have gotten the cobwebs/nerves out now.

GreggyD said...

Werth hit into the least amount of double plays all year or so I remember hearing. Why now?

Corey said...

in case anyone is away from a tv and at a computer, the game can be seen HERE.

GM-Carson said...

Starting Feliz is retarded. Lowe is a groundout inducing machine. Expect plenty of GIDP's tonight. 1-0 isn't bad, but it is when you're facing Playoff Lowe.

GM-Carson said...

What's up Doc?

GM-Carson said...

Wow, the Phils offense looks sucktastic against Lowe so far.

Corey said...

very busy tonight...it was already 1-0 when i got to the computer. i'm happy that i can watch the game online though, unhappy because the phils are looking to continue their playoff offensive sleepwalk.

i wish victorino would have rolled derek lowe like he was paul lo duca...

GM-Carson said...

J-Roll and Vic were retarded in that inning. Lowe threw all of 6 pitches, that's unacceptable.

GreggyD said...

Once again, Cole is going to give the Phils a quality start and they will back him up with a goose egg. Disgusting.

dr. steve said...

Those bushes are so ruined. Did you see the fans looking for the home run ball?

dr. steve said...

Also did you hear the stupid commentators? Silence the entire time. It's like they ALL want the Phillies to lose.

Corey said...

do you think they just turned the mics off because the announcers were cursing in disgust of a phillies lead?

also, anyone else think it was a quick hook for lowe? i would much rather see park than lowe right now. the guy basically made two bad pitches and otherwise was dominating.

BloodStripes said...

I just got home from work. Just in time to see the Phils put 3 on the board for the lead. Bloody awesome!

GM-Carson said...

Utley!

The Bat!

3-2 lead!

Fuck the Fox announcers, their sucking of Boston and Dodger cock is beyond annoying.

dr. steve said...

A PINCH BUNTER?!?!

COLE CAN'T BUNT?

AND IT"S ALREADY AN OUT

THIS IS HORRIBLE

Corey said...

i want to go on record that i am against this pinch hitter in a HUGE way...

Corey said...

and as soon as i type that, taguchi craps himself and hamels head to the shower. great freaking move.

BloodStripes said...

Hamels could have laid down a bunt and pitched some more.

Hold on tight its Mad Dog time!

dr. steve said...

How did Taguchi make the post-season roster?

dr. steve said...

Burrell... defensive replacement for... Burrell?

dr. steve said...

Why is Larry Anderson not on TV? All he does is say classic gems.

BloodStripes said...

Woof!!!

Corey said...

no way. no way in hell taguchi sees the field again. ever. they shouldn't even let him tak BP tomorrow. send him wherever adam eaton is and forget about him.

Corey said...

bloodstripes, just a fun fact for you know - a case (24 bottles) of coopers lager $50, toohey's $34. i buy them one at a time to try, otherwise they are too pricey for me. i'm betting they are much cheaper down under, ehh...

BloodStripes said...

Mate, that is exactly what we pay for them. Only in Aussie dollars of course. Which is worth alot less than the greenback these days. Only a couple of months ago our dollar was about 95 U.S cents but today its only about 70c. It has fallen real quick.

Anyway, I have it on good authority that things are much cheaper in America. Enjoy Corey. Coopers beer is world class.

dr. steve said...

On my TV - Fox is completely silent. Completely uncaring when they talk.

On the radio - insanity. Celebration.

Corey said...

YES!!!!!

BloodStripes said...

I like the Rocky music fox was playing. Thats Philly.

I can't believe those beers are the same price. Too much bloody tax on grog downunder. Should be cheaper. Although I can get a case of Budweiser for 50 bucks. So I don't know whats going on.

What a win. Phils rule. Won't miss a pitch tomorrow. I timed it perfectly today though. I logged into MLB.TV and the first pitch I saw was Utley going yard. No bull. Friggin' perfect.

SirAlden said...

Let's Put Another One In The Win Column For The Phightin' Phils!!!!

Great Win, Hamels, Utley, Burrell, Madson, Lidge.

This Season Is Now A Success.

SirAlden said...

Top Post Corey!

GM-Carson said...

From panic to bliss...love our Phils.

ripjgarcia said...

My nerves are calmed down to the point where I will wake up at 4 tomorrow.. Good win and good night (or morning depending on your state of being)

Brandon Heikoop said...

What about TV show?
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia v.
The pack...

It's like picking Tiger for a golf tournament-you just do it! (No Nike pun intended!)