Tuesday, July 29, 2008

If you like (blank), then try (blank)

In the likes of the time-tested marketing scheme of Amazon.com, I bring to you- "If you like (blank), then try (blank)" Phillies style.

If you like 12-10 scores, then try watching the NFL.

If you like Ryan Howard's swing, also try a cool summer breeze.

If you like Chris Coste's life story, then I recommend Walt Disney Pictures.

If you like Pat Burrell, you might enjoy Rick James and Skoal.

If you like David Bell, then you might like Coldplay and gerbling.

If you like Joe Blanton, then try Adam Eaton, or Brett Myers, or losing.

If you like the Phillies, then try open heart surgery.

If you like Manny Ramirez to Philadelphia rumors as the truth, then you might like Greek mythology.

If you like Pat Gillick, also try Ed Wade.

If you like Charlie Manuel, you might enjoy Jeff Foxworthy jokes.

If you like Shane Victorino, then try a double-shot espresso, Jolt Cola, or Red Bull.

If you like the Mets, you'll most likely also enjoy poverty, war, health care crisis, recession...basically anything else that is plaguing this great country.

*Feel free to add your own in the comments section.
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Wasted Money:
Adam Eaton to the minors should be a cause for a mini-celebration. However, stop and think about all the millions Pat Gillick has wasted on a bunch of no-talent ass-clowns. Eaton is only the posterboy for foolish investments on Patty G's behalf, there have been plenty others. Aside from Eaton (15.2 million over 07-08), Gillick has unwisely splurged on Tom Gordon (12.5 over 07-08), Ryan Franklin (2.6 in '06), Rod Barajas (2.5 in '07) , Geoff Jenkins (5 in '08), Brett Myers (8.6 in '08), Abraham Nunez (3.2 over 06-07), Wes Helms (4.7 over 07-08), Freddy Garcia (10 in '07), Arthur Rhodes (3.7 in '06), and the 22 million sent to the ChiSox with Jim Thome. This list doesn't include players that sucked that flew in under the 1 million dollar threshold- Alex Gonzalez, Sal Fasano, Julio Santana, Antonio Alfonseca, among others. Total wasted money: 90 million dollars. Think that's bad? Just wait until Gillick's lapdog Ruben Amaro Jr. takes over at season's end.

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Logjam:
The Mets still lead the NL East, but the Phils are only half a game back and the Marlins 1 game back. The Mets and Marlins are busy beating each other up, so it's time for the Phils to make a move. The gNats are next on the schedule with headcase Brett Myers (3-9, 5.82 era, 1.57 whip) facing rookie Collin Balestar (1-2, 5.75, 1.48) at new Nationals Park tonight to open the series. Tomorrow- Grand Pappy Moyer (9-6, 3.76, 1.32) vs. the unhittable Tim Redding (7-5, 3.98, 1.33 overall/2-0, 0.00, .170 average against when facing the Phils this season). Series wraps up Thursday night with Mr. Win Kyle Kendrick (8-5, 4.70, 1.50) squaring off against hand-breaker John Lannan (6-10, 3.33, 1.29). The Phils need a series win, or better yet a sweep, and Washington sucks, so that shouldn't be out of the question.

~Carson

21 comments:

GM-Carson said...

Minors:
*Carlos Carrasco picked up his 7th win yesterday, but looked ugly doing it. His era is well over 4, and that's not something you want to see from your prized pitching prospect.

*2008 draft pick Steve Susdorf (outfield) is off to a great start, batting .400 with 8 doubles, 4 homeruns, 16 rbi, and a 1.264 OPS in 16 games for the Williamsport Crosscutters.

dr. steve said...

Why do I have the feeling that by Friday, Marson and Victorino will be gone as well as some other talent and the Phillies will have a player or two that not only don't help the team, but either are gone this offseason or stay for years with a huge contract?

I have NO faith in our management to do anything except screw the team over. In fact I think that is their goal.

GM-Carson said...

I'm scared about the following weeks. I too think Gillick will do something stupid, as he already has in acquiring Blanton for good prospects.

Stephanie Grace said...

If you like Charlie Manuel, try Foghorn Leghorn.

If you like Pat Gillick, you might also enjoy FEMA or the French Army.

If you like Adam Eaton, try Lyndon LaRouche. (I think he has more wins)

*Do you guys think they'll use Happ to pick up somebody else by Thursday?

Arbuckle thinks they might: "We just wanted to keep all our options open, and we thought the best way to do that was limit his outing just so that he might be ready in case we needed him or there was a trade. A lot of different things could happen over the next couple days.""

GM-Carson said...

Happ to the Rockies for Fuentes would not shock me.

GM-Carson said...

This Nationals series should be considered a gift, hopefully the Phils take it with open arms.

Chase Trillo said...

I would be pissed if we traded Happ for Fuentes! Maybe I am crazy, but Fuentes (both Brain and Daisy) never did much for me. Was he good? Sure, but he was never great in my opinion (much like Daisy). Maybe the Rockies would move him for Blanton. Seriously.

Reverend Paul Revere said...

Just to add some salt into the wound, our general manager in waiting Ruben Amaro Jr. is not only Gillick's lapdog, but he was also Ed Wade's lapdog.

Get used to more terrible moves for incredible amounts of money, only then to shy away from talented players that command a lot of money.

Oh, and if you like David Montgomery, you might like the Nazi regime, Marge Schott, Montgomery Burns and Donald Sterling.

Boogerking said...

Re Dr.Steve's comments yesterday about organizing a protest against Gillick and Phillies ownership : They wouldn't care.It wouldn't change anything.If you are very lucky you might witness a similar idea in action at Camden Yards.After O's fans are certain they are out of playoff contention(an annual Baltimore tradition)they organize a homegame walkout in an attempt to force Peter Angelos to sell the team.Upwards of a thousand fans purchase tickets in roughly the same sections so as to leave a gaping hole in the seats that folks will notice on TV.They leave together at a set time.It's funny but as far as I can tell Angelos still runs the show and the Orioles still suck.
If you like watching the Phillies try a cactus enema.
If you like Tim McCarver try listening to your grandfather's WWII story about the landmine that didn't go off ONE..MORE..F*CKING..TIME!!!!!

GM-Carson said...

Cactus enema...sounds pleasant.

GM-Carson said...

Jason Donald to KC for stellar lefty reliver Ron Mahay. Mahay is under contract for next year, so not a bad idea, but is he worth Donald...possibly.

GM-Carson said...

I doubt with the current GM and front office that the Phils will ever be the team trading for a difference maker at the trade deadline. Sure we'll trade away difference makers (Schilling, Rolen, Abreu), but Lohse and Moyer as about as big-time as you'll see Patty G go.

Sean said...

If you like WSBGMs, try gold, beer, winning the lottery, and Wikipedia.

Chase Trillo said...

I'd trade Donald for Mahay. I actually think Mahay is better than Romero. I wouldn't opffer more than Donald though.

Boogerking said...

I don't care who they give up for Mahay. He's throwing 1.87era and has gone two innings several times this year. Has a great SO to BB ratio and seldom gives up homeruns. He's 36 but having his best season in years.BONUS: the addition of Mahay allows us to get rid of Myers.Trade for Mahay, call up Happ, exile Eaton and Myers for the rest of their contracts.
If you like Ron Mahay you will also enjoy getting out of the seventh inning without giving up 5 runs.

GM-Carson said...

Mahay is a converted outfielder, so maybe he could be his own pinch-hitter (that's a stretch I know).

GM-Carson said...

Rumor has it Pedro Feliz has been put on the 15 day DL with Mike Cervenak being recalled. I'd like to see him get a few starts at 3rd, he's batting .320 in AAA.

dr. steve said...

Don't we have a first basemen in the minors who is pretty good? Worth trading Howard and bringing him up soon?

SirAlden said...

530 460

I never thought I would ever see this.

The first number 530 is not so rare.
It is the Division leading number of runs through last nights game.
It is barely in the lead, not like last year with 10s of runs more, but it is still first place.

460 the second number. It is the number of runs given up by the Phillies this year. What is surprising about this number?

It is LOWER THAN ANY OTHER TEAM IN THE EAST! With Eaton, with Myers, with The Cit.

This has not happened in almost forever I guess. At this moment we have given up fewer runs, and created more runs, than any other
team in the East.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/clubhouse?team=phi

Aaron said...

This is the 3 straight win that I'm pissed off after.
First no excuse for that error Utley made. NO EXCUSE. That play has to made.
2nd how the F&^k do we go out and score 2 freakin runs off that parade of slop the Gnats call a pitching staff. If they can't hit these guys how would they do against Zambrano and Harden in a playoff series?
Seriously 2 F(*king runs off those ass clowns!!!!
Tommorow Tim Reading will throgh another 8 shutout 3 hit innings against us like he does every freakin time he pitches against us.

GM-Carson said...

Aaron- I'm with ya bro, that game wasn't pretty aside from the Phils pitching. That error by Utley was horrible. He and Howard are pretty poor defensively on the right side of the infield. The past 3 games the Phils have won, but they've been anything but a textbook well played game in any of them.