Here at WSBGM's, we're known for our hard-hitting journalistic style posts on anything Phillies. Therefore, today I will introduce you to a member of the Underworld- Cole Hamels, Vampire. Through his brief career Hamels has dominated the night (as vampires do) with 22-12 record, 3.12 era, and 1.05 whip. However, during the day his skills are masked by the sun as evident by his 7-5 record, 5.25 era, and 1.46 whip. Earlier this week I sat down with Cole for an intimate interview; is it strange that he asked it to be held in a cave and had an I.V. hooked up?
WSBGM- So Cole, how does being a creature of the night effect your employment?
Cole- It has its perks and pitfalls. For example, I kick more ass than Chuck Norris during a night game, but suck more than a mosquito during day games.
WSBGM- Does Coppertone make a strong enough sunscreen that would help?
Cole- Screw Coppertone, they're into kiddie porn.
WSBGM- Alrighty then, moving on. Is your wife one of those hottie she-vamps?
Cole- You speak of my wife like that again and I'll drain every last drip of blood from your veins.
WSBGM- Ease down Mr. Pointy-Teeth, I meant no ill-will. But wasn't she in Playboy though?
Cole- This interview is over, G'day.
And thus ended the interview with the vampire, hope I shed some light on the situation. *By the way, Heidi (Cole's wife) is the blonde.
The 2008 Amateur Draft will be held this afternoon with the Phils holding a handful of early picks (7 out of the first 136 selections). Not sure what their draft strategy will be, hopefully better than mine was for this year's WSBGM's Phantasy League, but I did hear rumors that this douche (pictured right) will go in the 1st round to the Phils if still available.