Monday, May 26, 2008

Guide to being angry about 15 runs.

Hip-hip-hooray the Phillies scored 15 runs. Let's roll out a keg, hire some go-go dancers, and invite over your loose Aunt Lucy. 15 runs are nice, but this offense is so inconsistent that it's infuriating. I'm thankful for the offensive onslaught yesterday and all, but I'm not all that excited. For the 13th time this season the Phils scored 7+ runs and have won all 13 of those contests. In fact, in those 13 games of 7 or more runs scored they have racked up 120 runs, for an average of 9.2 runs a game. However, they've played 52 games on the season and in the other 39 games have only managed 140 runs for an average of 3.6 runs per game. This should be filed as proof to the Phillies erratic scoring tendencies. Why am I making such a big stink out of this? People look at the Phils offense and see that they've scored 260 runs this season, good enough for 5th in MLB, but that's misleading as I've shown you above. If you go solely off of those numbers it shows the Phils averaging 5 runs a game and that's mostly coming from the 13 games in which they went crazy like a horny teenager at a 2 Live Crew concert. The unreliable source of runs game in and game out can be pointed at many different people. Ryan Howard, the slugging cleanup hitter batting near .200 with strikeouts stacking higher than the heavens. Shane Victorino and Jimmy Rollins for being injured, how dare you claim workman's comp? Geoff Jenkins, the masher of righties who's become a slower, whiter, less effective version of singles-hitter Ichiro since joining the Phils. The IZ Bros.(Chooch & Pedro), haven't seen a black hole that big since Tina Turner spread her legs. I know I shouldn't be going off like this, but one win doesn't cure all, and I'm just pretty unimpressed with this squad so far this season. Still season left to make me sway my opinion; time will tell.

Phils are going to need their offense to start stepping up more and routinely score 5+ runs a game because the batting averages against the starting rotation are frightening: .325 vs. Moyer, .306 vs. Kendrick, .288 vs. Eaton, and .311 vs. Myers. Hamels is the only one that seems to be able to retire hitters with any regularity (.214 average against).

3 game set at home against the Rox starting tonight. Matt Holliday, Clint Barmes, Troy Tulowitzki, and Brad Hawpe are all DL'd...time for the first sweep of the season.

~Carson

15 comments:

furiousBall said...

Colorado's pitcher's ERA = 7.78, this looks like a fun game tonight.

GM-Carson said...

Happy B-Day to Travisty Lee and Ricky Jordan, two overhyped 1st basemen of Phillies lore.

bsg said...

What was the stat they posted during the phils game yesterday, that they are 10-11 in one run games ugh! or something like that, and isn't chase still under the mendoza line for may?..... Carson couldn't you have posted a picture of Beyonce instead! that one of Tina Turner is pretty scary...but maybe that was the point!

GreggyD said...

That Tina Turner comment, while gut wrenching, was ridiculously funny. You had me almost falling over in the chair.

As for the Phils, we have always complained about the inconsistent offense and about how one night they won't be able to buy a hit and the next they go off for 14 runs. I think we are all in agreement that we would just settle for somewhere in the middle of amazing offense and tripping on the way to first base if it proved to make them more consistent at the plate. But, this is what I've come to expect as a Phillies fan along with: the fact that Howard whiffs more than a seven year old in an 80 mph batting cage for the first time, Brett Myers is a whiny little bitch because he wants to be in the back of the bullpen ::stomps feet and screams away like a 13 year old girl, and well, Chase Utley is still a God.

On those generalized notes, Happy Memorial Day everyone...except for sir alden. He better not be caught wearing white after today.

Los said...

The Phils seem to find ways of making bad pitchers look good ... let's hope they continue to get revenge for last season's playoffs.

GM-Carson said...

Just heard the Rockies are the only team Moyer has never beaten. Time to change history tonight.

GM-Carson said...

Shit, 3-0 Rox in the top of the 1st. The Phils suck!

GM-Carson said...

Ryan Howard just dropped another ball that hits him in dead square in the mitt, he's a joke.

GM-Carson said...

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Chase freakin' Utley, 3-run bomb, see ya!

Jacobin said...

I'm not on board with the Tina Turner comment. It seems to suggest a level of whorishness I've never really associated with Tina Turner. Maybe you should have gone with Lil' Kim. I associate her with strumpet promiscuity.

Anyway, how's the offense tonight and yesterday for consistency? Only 13 runs so far... think we'll go over 15?

Bob D said...

Victorino has been hit (twice) more than he has hits tonight (1), plus 2 walks. But Utley makes them pay again now 14-4, creeping in on that 15th run.

bsg said...

That marching parade music with the phils commercial leading into the 7th was great! just too bad it's not against the mets, but go fish! bury the mets in the standings now and we'll worry about them this weekend and later in the season, there's no way they can keep it up!

Jacobin said...

BJ Thon (or whatever his name is) even gets an RBI. 18-4. Wow, how demoralizing is this for Colorado?

Jacobin said...

Looks like it stops at 20 runs for this game. So, are we looking at 25 tomorrow?

GM-Carson said...

20 runs, not bad.