Please don't rub it in that Michael Bourn beat the Phillies last night with his legs and bat (2 hits, 2 runs, 1 hr, 1 rbi, 1 sb).
Please don't mock the use of the words "Phillies" and "Offense" in succession (currently ranked 10th in the NL with 64 piddling runs scored).
Please don't mention that the Phillies pitching staff is ranked 8th in the Majors with a 3.55 era, yet the team that is supposed to be backed by a prolific offense is still not playing winning baseball.
Please don't bat the IZ Brothers 2nd in the lineup (No Ruiz, no Feliz, no Bruntlettiz).
Please don't tell me that the heart of the batting order struck out 1-2-3 in the 8th inning against a Rule 5 pick (Wesley Wright), with 2 of the strikeouts being on called 3rd strikes.
Please don't tease me with a Jimmy Rollins pinch-hit appearance to only have be lifted for a pinch-runner and still be "not expected to return until the weekend".
Please don't continue to swing and miss Ryan Howard, who is on a pace for a record setting 216 k's and a sub .200 batting average (he would become the only member of that infamous 200/200 club).
Please don't point out that the Nationals have only 4 wins on the season and 3 of them have come gift wrapped courtesy of the Phillies.
Please don't make excuses for this team. I don't care that the other NL East powerhouses (Brave & Mets) are struggling. I don't want to hear that this is typical Phillies baseball in April and everything will be fine come summertime. I will postmark a scud missile to anyone who thinks this type of approach to a season is successful.
Please come out and shut down the Astros for 9 innings this afternoon Brett Myers, and club a couple homeruns to assure you actually get some support to win the game.