Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Ed Wade & His Loyal Minions


The Houston Astros are coming to town, which means the return of Ed Wade. Corey isn't a big fan of Wade, and believes his face resembles a scrotum; have to agree with you there Corey. Wade did both good and bad while in Philly, but since he never crafted a team that was able to make it to the playoffs his tenure as GM is considered flawed and unsuccessful. In September of 2007 the Astros reached out their hand to Ed and gave him the keys to the ignition of their franchise. He promptly began turning over the roster with trades for HGH-baby Miguel Tejada and closer Jose Valverde, shipped out Brad Lidge while collecting speedster Michael Bourn, signed Darin Erstad, Doug Brocail, Shawn Chacon, and anal plastic surgery boy Kaz Matsui, and cut old man Woody Williams and his bulky contract. Overall, it is clear that Ed Wade is trying to put his stamp on this organization in a short amount of time, whether his tactics flourish or not is yet to be determined. A quick glance over the active 25-man roster and you'll find some loyal minions that are ex-Phillies: Gas Can Geoff Geary (2003-07), Tomas Perez (00-05), Michael Bourn (06-07), and David Newhan (00-01).

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No Life Vest Needed:
The Pirates were expected to have a dismal season and need a life vest to even stay afloat, but that has not been the case so far. After last night's come from behind win over the Dodgers thanks to Mr. Fireworks himself Nate McLouth the Pirates busted through the .500 barrier and are now on the winning side at 7-6 (wish the Phils could say the same thing). The surprising offense is being fronted by the previously mentioned McLouth and he's followed by thumper X-Man Nady, late-blooming Ryan Doumit, and the versatile Chris Gomez. The young pitchers aren't so young any more, but their early career struggles are starting to payoff as Zach Duke, Ian Snell, Paul Maholm, and Tom Gorzelanny make up a decent rotation and in the 'pen they've got lefty John Grabow, stolen from the Braves Tyler Yates, and closer Matt Capps.

~Carson

17 comments:

LONG DRIVE: A PHILLIES BLOG said...

wade's face does resemble a scrotal sack...now he can watch all the players he drafted destroy his fisher price team he put together.

Jacobin said...

Since you mentioned the Pirates today, it might be a good time to start a pool as to when the first "contract" will be traded off by the team for "prospects" this year and who that person will be. Gotta love the Pirates, they've only been rebuilding since 1992.

GM-Carson said...

X-Man Nady and his hot bat is my vote for 1st player traded for "prospects".

Just imagine if Wade grew a semi-beard, that would really make his face look like a nutsack then.

furiousBall said...

the really disturbing part is that his face not only looks like a scrotom, but it looks identical to mine after i go cycling, the red rash on his upper lip is identical. believe me, i normally stare at my balls for hours...

holy shit, that was out loud wasn't it?

GM-Carson said...

Classic FuriousBall right there. If you've got a red rash on your nutsack, no wonder you have "furious balls".

Bob D said...

Furiousball, I laughed for 10 minutes,followed by crying, then I picked myself off the floor- that was awesome!

Jason Bay is my 1st pick to be traded. However, looking on the Pirates team they may end up being a contender in that division. Offense is OK, but I think the pitching is a little better than most teams and fairly solid all around. Thier pitching is probably better than the Phils.

GM-Carson said...

Bob D- the Buccos pitching is very respectable. Just imagine if Matt Morris and Marte start pitching back to career averages. The offense isn't very good, but Jack Wilson is currently out of the lineup and LaRoche isn't hitting so there's room for improvement.

SirAlden said...

I think the Phillies are doing well, Kendrick is the greatest worry, as well and Brett Myers for two years in a row not knowing how to be aggressive as a starter at the begining of the season, in his own words. What is the matter with him?

After the cobwebs are shaken out and Jimmy and Shane return, and the fielders stop pressing, I think everything will be ok.

Go take a look at some Mutts or Braves blogs and you will see how every team is in Shake-Down mode at the beginning of the season.

I hope we sweep the Astros and then never look back.

I have just slicked my hard drive, and I cannot find the MLB Trade Rumor Site where the author created his new formula for balls that should have been caught vs balls that were caught as a ratio.

Does anyone know the site?

Thanks.

GM-Carson said...

The way I look at it, as poorly as the Phils have played they're lucky to be 6-7. It is true the rest of the NL East is struggling (aside from the Marlins), but this should be when the Phils are capitalizing on others mistakes and forging an early season lead over the Mets and Braves.

Los said...

Too bad Wade didn't reach out for Adam Eaton.

GM-Carson said...

Another game and still no Jimmy Rollins. This injury is worse than they orginially made it out to be, but then again that's how the Phillies operate.

Hack-o-matic Chooch Ruiz is batting 2nd. Why? There's no good reason, Charlie likes to experiment in April because apparently this month doesn't matter in the standings.

BloodStripes said...

Just got home in time for the bottom of the 9th comeback. What a beauty!!!!!

Go Phils pound these suckers.

BloodStripes said...

Smoked!!!!!!

Woo hooo! That was awesome.

Jacobin said...

The Aussie Snelling comes through, Burrell keeps slugging, and Jenkins runs through the stop sign to seal the win! Nice comeback! Woooo! Pat went opposite field with his shot... "The Bat" really has his head on straight right now.

BloodStripes said...

Pat is cookin' this year. Aussie Chris did a top job starting it all off with the ultimate pinch hit.

Phils back to .500. 7-7 is way better than 3-11 or whatever it was last year. Taking into account the injuries to Vic and J-Roll the Phils are doing well.

Bumble said...

Great blog, very entertaining. Any place where I can read about baseball strategy and guys whose heads look like my coin purse in the same chain is like music to my eyes.

GM-Carson said...

I almost turned the game off in the bottom of the 9th...so glad I didn't. As bad as Ryan Howard sucks right now, Burrell is that much his polar opposite in awesomeness right now. Snelling 1st pitch grandstands was kick ass too.