Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Paid: The Ryan Howard Chronicles

Ryan Howard's 9.1 million dollar raise from $900k to $10 mil has been well documented. However, Howard is finding other ways to make ends meet besides his piddling salary.





Ryan was the face on the packets of 2007 Topps baseball cards.




He's made numerous appearances on Subway commercials with the company's main man Jared.




He's the coverboy for the new video game MLB 08: The Show.

He's also now making "Practice Pop-Ins" for Dick's Sporting Goods (seen in video below).

What projects are on the horizon? 1. The Biggest Winner- his own reality tv show that is a spin-off of "The Biggest Loser" that focuses on gaining girth in the wallet rather than shedding pounds all around. 2. Howard the Juice- an energy drink specially formulated for him by Vitamin Water (sounds tasty!). 3. Greed- cologne that is strategically marketed in a green $-ed bottle and is rumored to have hints of Howard's perspiration and actual undertones of money. 4. Big Hitter- night club where the dancers rub pine tar on big "bats" and spit on the "balls". 5. King of Swing- a jazz infused rag time album that he produced himself and played all the instruments on, including some killer trombone. 6. Big Daddy's- clothing line described as fashionably urban yet formal wear for husky men. Looks like Ryan is doing alright for himself and is going to be a busy man, a rich busy man. Maybe he should throw his buddy Cole some of these endorsement opportunities seeing as he's "poor" with his contract renewal of only $500k.

~Carson

11 comments:

GM-Carson said...

The Phillies at one time had what was believed to be a 3 year $27 mil deal on the table for Kyle Lohse...bet he wishes he'd have snatched that up.

From MLBTR-
Kyle Lohse for one year and $4MM doesn't sound too bad, does it? Not to the Phillies, even with Adam Eaton and a couple of Durbins battling it out for the fifth starter job. Phils assistant GM Mike Arbuckle said "I know we're not interested" in Lohse at such a price.

I don't get this. Pretty much every team in the NL should be looking at Lohse if he's really willing to take $4MM. Even non-contenders have to consider the ol' sign and flip with him. Even this year, with teams showing relatively more common sense with free agents, $2-3MM deals have been tossed around on roster filler type players. The standard rate for a sixth-inning middle reliever is three mil now. The only explanation I can think of is that the reports are wrong, and Lohse is still trying to get $6-8MM.

*If he only wants 1 year around 4-6 mil, he needs to be signed pronto! F' Adam Eaton and F' Wes Helms.

GM-Carson said...

Francisco Rosario, who is out of options and vying for one of the open spots in the bullpen pitched very well in 3.1 innings yesterday.

Kendrick gave up 7 runs over 2 though.

Jimmy Rollins is only batting .077...thank goodness it's only spring training.

furiousBall said...

Lohse at $4M is a great deal! Is there a chance that Phils brass know about an injury that hasn't been disclosed perhaps?

GM-Carson said...

My guess is that Gillick was demanded to stop spending, meaning even Lohse a 1 year $4 mil is too expensive. That's a shame if that's the case, but maybe Patty G is actually thinking about signing him just not showing his hand before the play like he normally does.

Mike said...

I received an advance copy of "King of Swing" last week. Good stuff, and No-Hit Nunez appears on two songs!

The Phillies are just waiting for their experts to review Lohse's up-to-the-minute medical reports. The Phils are known for their diligence in such matters.

GM-Carson said...

Mike- thank you for playing along with the joke of the post today.

GM-Carson said...

I found an interesting tidbit on Wikipedia about the "Turnpike Series" between the Phillies and Mets, the Phils lead the series 419-364...so shut up Mutts!!!

Bob D said...

jOKE? wHAT JOKE? Maybe Hamels could have the Subway commercials from Howard.

BloodStripes said...

Hilarious post GM, good stuff. Nothing like the smell of greed splashed onto the armpits before going out. I gotta beat the chicks off with a stick. Howards fairy-moans(sorry can't spell) kill it.

Off topic. I am experiencing a problem with the WSBGM's home page. Both IE and firefox will not reload the home page after I have viewed it the once. Once the cookie lands it won't refresh properly unless i delete it. I tried it on a friends computer and the same thing happened. Anyone else have this problem? Maybe its a downunder phenomenon. All other websites work fine.

BloodStripes said...

I gotta delete more than the cookie. .....temp internet files as well. Weird.

GM-Carson said...

If anyone else is having BloodStripes problem with the site refreshing email us and just leave a message in the comment section. I'm not having the problem thankfully.