The Yankees announced they have "signed" washed-up comedian Billy Crystal to a 1 day minor league contract. He will practice with the team on Wednesday and play in the Grapefruit League game on Thursday against the Pirates. Manager Joe Giradi isn't sure which position Billy will be playing. My suggestion- assback; every time Crystal goes to take the field Giradi yells "Get your ass back here!". I must admit that City Slickers was an enjoyable movie...15 years ago! Seriously, what the hell has Crystal done other than voice-overs for Disney/Pixar movies in the last decade? Oh yeah, he did direct 61*, but other than that nothing. I really don't think he'll be much of a prospect either seeing that he's almost 60 years old and 5'2" and 170 pounds.
However insignificant Billy Crystal may be for the Yankees 2008 pennant chase, I still believe the Phils should counter this move with a similar signing- West Philadelphia born and raised Will Smith, The Fresh Prince. That's right, it's time to get jiggy with it and break out a real star, not some guy that was funny two decades ago. Will Smith is hot now, with recent box office success in I, Robot, I Am Legend, Hitch, and The Pursuit of Happyness. His build is far more athletic than Crystal's too, standing about 6'3" and strapping at 200 pounds. Not to mention he has a bangin' wife in Jada that could be added the Phillies already brimming stable of hot wives.