Thursday, March 06, 2008

Better Man- The Race for 5th

In the spirit of past WSBGM's song parodies, I bring to you my rendition of Pearl Jam's Better Man inspired by the uninspiring competition for the 5th spot in the Phillies rotation.

Waiting, watching the game,
It’s the 4th inning, it’s got to stop,
Tell him, take no more, Manuel practices his speech
As he approaches the mound, he thinks it over.
Pretends to take the ball as he looks him over.
Manuel lies and says he’s alright with him,
Can’t find a better man.
Phans dream in color, Phans dreams in red,
Upset we can’t find a better man.
Can’t find a better man.
Ohh...

Talking to himself, there’s no one else who can pitch now,
He tells himself, oh...
Memories back when the rotation was bold and strong,
And waiting for the league to come along.
Swears he knew it was so, but now he swears it gone.
He lies and says he’s okay with him,
Can’t find a better man.
Phans curse in color, Phans are seeing red,
Pissed Gillick can’t find a better man.
Can’t find a better man!
Yeah...








We boo him, yeah...but he don’t want to leave this way.
We need him, yeah...that’s why he’ll be back again.
Can’t find a better man.
Eaton ain’t a better man,
Dos Durbins aren’t better men,
Blackley ain’t a better man,
Can’t find a better man,
Kris Benson is injured and,
We need a crafty veteran,
Or an equivalent to Johan Santana-an,
Kyle Lohse ain’t the answer man,
Where is a better man?!
Ugh...

~Carson

9 comments:

GM-Carson said...

News from Phils camp:
*Brad Lidge is healing quickly and hopes to throw off a mound early next week.

*JD Durbin continues to sputter in his quest for the 5th spot in the rotation.

*Former 1st round pick Greg Golson continues to shine this spring with an .800 avg.

*Newbies Bruntlett and Feliz are still hot at the plate batting over .400 each.

*Brett Myers has looked freakin' awesome this spring, ZERO era.

*Benson is set to pitch in a minor league game on Saturday.

GreggyD said...

Adam Eaton will be taking the mound today against the Rays. Can't wait to see another fantastic line from the 2007 Assclown of the Year

furiousBall said...

I was really rooting for JD to get that spot, but boy he needs to show us something better than his last outing.

GM-Carson said...

If JD Durbin wasn't a once highly touted prospect or pitched a miracle shutout last season I wouldn't even pay him any mind. JD Durbin is a lot like Gavin Floyd in that aspect.

Los said...

Bruntlet's been looking good too, right?


Adam Eaton is going to get mauled not only by the players, but by the fans.

GM-Carson said...

Eaton today- 2ip, 5 h, 4 r, spring era of 15.75. He's a huge piece of shit!

Maria said...

Not like you needed spring training to tell you that Adam Eaton sucks.

Maria said...

And Chase Utley and Chris Coste hit their first ST homeruns.

BloodStripes said...

Eaton is bloody useless.