Alright, I can’t take it anymore…I’m coming clean. The pressure was mounting, the FEDS were on my case, I was falling apart at the seams like a baseball bashed by Ruth. Then it hit me like Sonny Bono into a tree, I need to speak the truth- I DID IT! That’s right, I took performance enhancing drugs, and I’m damn proud of it. I went from a nobody to an overnight sensation in the blogsphere. While on the “juice” I’ve seen my hits per day rise from the depths of nothingness to the level of cult status. I’ve built a minion of followers, make pennies off of advertising, and am well respected among fellow bloggers in my own mind. The temptation to take HGH was overwhelming, the Internet atmosphere was of a “Do It!” mentality. If I had the chance to turn back time and do it the honest way through hard work and determination I wouldn’t... cheating is so much easier and gratifying. Look at me, I’m best in the business. Seriously, where would WSBGM's be without GM-Carson? For that matter, where would the Phillies be without GM-Carson? You all need me, you all want me, and I love spreading my big fat ego around. If you’re going to sit there and judge me differently with this tidbit of information disclosed- shame on you. Think of me as a struggling artist looking for a big break. The performance enhancing drugs were my break, and I took them and ran like fat kid after a french fry. I'll tell Congress the same damn thing, I'll take a damn lie detector test if it helps prove my guilt. I don’t give a rat’s ass about the Blog-of-Fame, I do this for me, keep your filthy vote!
*This post is lovingly dedicated to Roger "Rocket" Clemens...preach your innocence bro, because you're the only one who believes it. Screw the Mitchell Report, screw Brian McNamee, and screw me for mocking you.
Billy Joel: An Innocent Man
Some people run from a possible fight.
Some people figure they can never win.
And although this is a fight I can lose.
The accused is an innocent man.
Oh yes I am,
An innocent man.