Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Go Go Power Rangers

Just how many homeruns will the Phillies hit this season? 5, 986 to be exact according the lastest projections. But seriously, last season they managed to smack 216 round-trippers out of the park. Personally, I expect about the same, but there's reason to believe that more may be in store...lets take a look.

Howard- 58 homeruns last season. The man is the Blaster Master, the Mammoth, a freaking homerun hitting machine! I do expect a dip in long-balls this season though, as 58 is hard to duplicate, going conservative and picking 47. However, I know many people think with increased "protection" from Burrell and another year's experience, Howard may go Roger Maris on us.

Utley- 32 last year, more this year. He got paid and laid this offseason, expecting 35 bombs from him in '07. Utley is a smart player and doesn't swing for the fences, but if he did, he'd easily eclipse 40.

Burrell- 29 last year, more playing time this year equalling more homeruns, and a jump to 35. Hopefully Manuel will recognize having Burrell in the lineup, despite his k's, is still better than Karim Garcia, Chris Roberson, or Jayson Werth. If Burrell ever manages to "figure it out", as according the the omnipotent Mike Schmidt, he could also launch 40+.

Jimmy Rollins- 25 last year, dipping this season to 18. Some Phans are predicting a 30-30 season from J-Roll, I predicting 25 homeruns will be his career high. We don't want J-Roll swinging for the fences, because those balls end up finding the outfielders' mitts.

Aaron Rowand- 12 last year, bump that total up this year just for the sake of more playing time assuming he doesn't do another fence buffet this season...I'm thinking 19 jacks, and if he grew a set of shoulders 26.

Helms- we had David "H-Mo" Bell and Abe "No-Hit" Nunez at 3rd last season, so Helms is definitely a bigger power threat...thinking 21 homers. Of course, our brilliant master strategist Charlie Fuqua Manuel may decide to plug Nuni in at 3rd...the man is a dumbass afterall.

Catchers- Lieberthal, Coste, and Ruiz combined for 19 homeruns last season. Barajas, Ruiz, and Coste will hit somewhere in the neighborhood of 23 this year.

Right there is a predicted 198 homeruns, leaving the 2007 Phillies 18 short of last season's total. I didn't calculate in the homeruns from Shane Victorino or bench players Jayson Werth and presumably Karim Garcia, and the mass amount of bombs new pitchers Adam Eaton and Freddy Garcia will crush or the hot streak No-Talent Ass-Clown Danny Sandoval will go on in mid-July. Still, like I said at the beginning, I expect about the same as last year.

~Carson

Monday, February 26, 2007

It All Starts Here...

There are high hopes for the Phils this year. Many fans (and players) are thinking playoffs. And a key to making the playoffs may be avoiding the typical horrible April that has plagued recent squads. To do so, I think the team needs to focus early in spring training on winning each and every game, so by the time April rolls around, the guys are used to pushing and fighting for each and every win. It's important that Grapefruit League wins come early and often, with a key game being the opener against Florida St today. You don't want to start the season with a loss, it could break their spirit. This important game deserves a WSBGM's Breakdown.

Opponent: Florida State University
Mascot: Racially-Insulting Stereotypical Native American Caricature
Conference: ACC
Record: 13-0
NCAA Rank: 8

Wow, what a way to start a playoff run, playing a hot, undefeated FSU squad. Already this year the 'Noles have swept powerhouse clubs UNC Asheville, Hofstra, and Appalachian St., putting up 44 runs in a 3 game series with Asheville and holding Hofstra to 5 runs in their 3 game set.

Offense:
The FSU offense makes the '29 Yankees look like the '87 Phils. Tony Thomas Jr. leads with a .500 avearage and slugs .768. But he's not alone, all nine starters are hitting over .333, with 6 players hitting over .400. That is a lot of PING! Poor Ohmed Danesh (a 2006 NYY draft pick, pick 1244 overall) rides the pine as the 4th OF and he's hitting .583!

The Phils have the defending NL MVP, who may or may not play. But more importantly, they have Karim Garcia...who is better than Dellucci. Look for big games from Abe Nunez, Chris Roberson and Michael Bourn...if the Seminoles pitch a walk-on.

Pitching:
But it isn't just about hitting. FSU has 3 starters with ERA's all under 3.38 and a combined 52:15 K to BB. The bullpen only has 2 saves (because they kill people...) but has 3 guys who post sub-1.50 ERA's.

The Phils will run Kyle Drabek out to mound, but it may not matter, with a powerhouse offense like FSU, I doubt if Steve Carlton could make it past the 4th inning.

Coaching:
Florida State has Mike Martin, who is in his 28th year and has like thirty-billion wins. He also can read. The Phillies have Fuqua.

Good luck Phils, the season may be resting on this game...

Corey

Farmer in the Dell

From FoxSports.com- "Manuel also has liked outfielder Karim Garcia, saying he thinks he is a better player than former outfielder David Dellucci." That's it, it's official, our manager is a complete R-Tard! Since this blog began Corey and I have been making fun of Charlie Fuqua Manuel. It's no longer funny, it's real. The man is a full-blown dumbass. In what alternate universe is Karim "Canseco's Cousin" Garcia better than David "Dude, I'm getting a" Dell-ucci? Let's see how the numbers stack up- Garcia hasn't played MLB since '04 and owns a career on base % of .279, not exactly stellar. Dellucci has a solid career .797 OPS with a monster .899 coming just last season in Philly. Homeruns- 66 Garcia, 86 Dellucci. Runs/Rbi's- 180/212 Garcia, 360/328 Dellucci. Wow, Dellucci sure does suck compared to Karim Garcia, thanks for informing me Charlie, I don't know what I would do without your infinite wisdom constantly showering down upon me. Doesn't Karim look like Jose Canseco in this baseball card?

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My Boys: Michael Jack Schmidt is the finest third baseman to ever play the game as far as I'm concerned and is my favorite Phillie of all-time. I grew up idolizing the man, but now I just wish he would shut the hell up. Schmidt has recently criticized Pat Burrell for striking out too much, as if 1,883 k's in Schmidt's 18 year career is a meager number...not quite. Schmidt was a tremendous talent back in his day, but the truth is today's sluggers strikeout more than players two decades ago. Do I wish Burrell made more contact? Yes. Do I get pissed when he watches third strikes whiz by with more regularity than a geezer gulping prune juice? Yes. However, this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black, or David Bell calling Lance Bass gay...same difference. Don't mistake my words though, I'm not trying to call Pat Burrell Mike Schmidt's equal, I just don't think it's cool for him to say that kind of stuff when he obviously didn't "choke up with 2 strikes" during his playing days.

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"What the Kruk" Moment V

~Carson

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Spring Pics

Here are some random spring training pics posted over at philly.com. A few of these are fairly interesting; Davey Lopes training Jimmy Rollins for his upcoming appearance on Dancing With The Stars, Ryan Howard: Bird Trainer, and young Kyle Drabek showing his excitement to be working with the big club. I really like the one where Lieber is working so hard he's throwing his 12-pack around the mound. If his shirt comes untucked, I swear a glazed donut would fly out. Also, it seems Charlie Manuel is a little too comfortable with a baseball bat jammed in his crotch (I was going to circle it like I did with Lieber's gut, but then I re-thought the idea of putting a giant circle around Fuqua's junk, and decided against it.)







Corey

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Our Fearless Leaders

Manger- Charles Fuqua Manuel

This is our skipper, our strategist, the one who has the final say...crap, better change the title of this post to "I'm fearful he's our leader". Good ol' Fuqua has been made fun of more than Jerry's Kids, and for good reason...he's a moron! I'm willing to concede he's a great guy and a good players' manager because they like him, but his in-game decisions drive me bonkers, and his bullpen management is like watching an Aborigine trying to work a computer. Despite the shortcomings of our head coach, the Phillies will still make the playoffs this season which may possibly lead to a generously gifted Manager of the Year award and a contract extension...this is the price of victory I suppose.

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Hitting Coach- Milton Bernard Thompson

Milt has an easy job- "coaching" Utley and Howard how to hit...woah, tough! Milt has done a good job since taking over at the helm of hitting coach as he has helped the offense improve in runs scored, batting average, OPS, and actually cut down on their strikeouts. His major focus this season should be teaching Nunez the fundamentals of hitting, like- swing bat at ball. Maybe No-Hit can scrape out a .220 average this season...success!

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Pitching Coach- Richard Peter Dubee Jr.

Lets revisit that name...Richard a.k.a. Dick and Peter a.k.a. Dick, so we got Junior Dick Dick Dubee sculpting our staff with the nuances of the art of pitching. And lets not forget that last name Dubee, or shall I say "doobie"...I know Benjah appreciates this guy. Personally, I think Jaime Moyer does a better job at coaching the pitchers, but Dubee does have a cool name.

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Bullpen Coach- Ramon Gaspar Henderson

What does Ramon do besides answer the bullpen phone and tell a napping reliever to start warming up? Well, he has been the pitcher to the past two Homerun Derby Champions (Abreu & Howard), and he's good at holding relief pitchers captive at the request of Manuel...remember the plight of our Model Dictator Fabio Castro.

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1st Base Coach- David Earl Lopes

Dude was a speed demon back in his day, and his job is to get Victorino to use his speed to its full potential. Rollins is a smart base theft, as he hardly ever gets caught, but he's not even the fastest player of the team, that would be the Flyin' Hawaiian. Vic used to swipe bases left and right in the minors, but that hasn't translated to the MLB level. Lopes needs to teach him the ins-and-outs of pick-off moves, good counts to run on, and all the other stuff that gave Lopes the upperhand when he was getting fidgety on the base paths back in his playing days. Hell, maybe even Pat Burrell will steal a base this season...nah.

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3rd Base Coach- Steve Smith

Who the hell is Steve Smith?

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Bench Coach- James Francis Williams

Jimy, that's with 1 m, has plenty of MLB managing experience and is the likely replacement for Manuel should this team get off to another dreadful start. This team is not going to falter out of the gate, so all of Manuel's r-tard relatives can breath a collective sigh of relief and get back to their cousin loving, Skoal packing, Old Milwaukee drinking, trailer park ways. Personally, I look forward to watching Jimy and Fuqua trying to have a conversation during the game. Picture this- Jimy's dentures almost are popping out while discussing strategy and Fuqua is giving that "I have an extra chromosome" look he's so famous for...priceless.

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Catching Instructor- Michael Frederick Billmeyer

This guy does nothing, seriously nothing...I want his job!

~Carson

Friday, February 23, 2007

Phillies Phlashback Phridays: Who Am I?

Guess this Phillie-

*Signed as a catcher by the Phillies in 1968, but never played that position in the Majors.

*Phillies weren't the first team he played for, actually his third team. His 17 year career included trips to Oakland, Cleveland, San Francisco, Cincinnati, and two stays with the Chicago Cubs.

*4 time All-Star

*Career line- 598 runs, 61 homers, 571 rbi, and an .661 OPS, but his best attribute was slick defense.

*Nickname- Indio

~Carson

Thursday, February 22, 2007

The Man?

Bobby Abreu was my favorite Phillie during his tenure in Philadelphia (98-06) and I've always had much respect for him. I remember when Kevin Stocker was traded for him and I was wondering "who the hell is this guy?". The city of Philly quickly learned the name Bobby Abreu because he brought a new style of game with him to the park- power, speed, defense, and on base skills. Bobby Abreu could be counted on for mid 20's power, 100+ runs and rbis, with 30+ stolen bases, accompanied by a .300 average with a .400 on base %...that's the new wave athlete right there. However, I must say I'm a bit disappointed in his latest comments,"It's nice, it's a different mentality. You know you're going to have a chance to be in the playoffs, and this is what it's all about. I'm looking for a World Series ring, and this team is going to give me a lot of chances to win." and "It was a little tough. There were a lot of rumors and that sort of stuff, but finally they made the decision [to trade me]. It was fine for me. It gave me the opportunity to play on a winner." and "Everyone in this lineup is a star," Abreu said. "Back on the Phillies, I was 'The Man' -- the one everyone pointed to over the years. It's a good thing to be here, because sometimes you'll make a mistake, and you can deal with that. On the other side [with Philadelphia], when you made a mistake, everybody pointed at you."

You were getting paid like a superstar and have all the ability in the world, of course you're going to be considered "the man". The fans loved you, all they wanted was a playoff appearance. But as time went on you seemed to care less and less, and your motivation disappeared. You began shying away from walls by some 10-15 feet, kept your bat on your shoulder in crucial rbi situations. We wanted more, but we only wanted what you were capable of. So, indeed you were the man, and the man held us down. So now during the post-Abreu era of Phillies baseball we will no longer be held down by the man...liberation feels oh so good! Bobby Abreu you're a pussy!


~Carson

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Moments of Kruk

Did the Phils trade Lieber? No.

Did Antonio Alfonseca grow a seventh finger? Maybe.

Is David Bell still jobless? Sweet Jesus, Yes!

Is there any real news to report? Hell no!

Thus...


"What the Kruk?" Moment III









"What the Kruk?" Moment IV

~Carson

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The Fuqua Is Spreading

In an interview documented earlier this week in the Daily News by Marcus Hayes, Ryan Howard was asked if it would be good for baseball if admitted steriod user Barry Bonds broke the all-time homerun record held by baseball icon Henry Aaron. His answer, at least to me, was rather both disappointing and C. Fuqua Manuel-like stupid. His response:

Why not? Has he been tested positive? Has it come up that he's tested positive? Has there been anything in the newspaper where it said he's positive? On steroids? There's no hardcore, positive yes that he's tested positive for steroids?... I'm simple. Either you've tested positive or you haven't. If he hasn't tested positive, then, yeah [it would be good]. Definitely.
When you are the first player to come close to Roger Maris that is not suspected of using steroids, it probably would be wise to avoid supporting, and as Hayes said giving "implicit endorsements," to known steroid users. It is especially disconcerting given that Hayes wrote that "on virtually every [other] topic, he supplied the same, benign answers he issued last season." Couldn't he just continue the benign answers? Why pick steroids to get aggressively defensive? I'm afraid I may not be the only person to ask this sort of question, especially if he gets close to 60 homers again...

The other reason this quote bothers me is that it is absolutely retarded. Does he really think Barry Bonds didn't take steroids? He did say he was "simple," but that would be beyond "simple," that would be borderline "Fuqua." Also, Howard implies that it is good for baseball because there is no proof that Bonds took steriods. Problem is, Bonds admitted to taking steroids, under the guise that he thought they were "flaxseed oil" and "arthritis balm." Got some other bad news for you Ryan; the world is round, Elvis is dead, OJ did it, and neither Santa or the Easter Bunny are real.

Corey

Vote Helms!

My only concern/focus today is with this statement our intellectual manager Charlie Fuqua Manuel made, "the third-base job is an open competition". I hope by "open" he means in case we trade for Hank Blalock or Alex Rodriguez decides to opt out of his contract immediately, because if Abe "No-Hit" Nunez starts I will needing some serious psychotherapy (some think I already do).

Who should start at 3rd base?
Wes Helms
No-Hit Nunez
  
pollcode.com free polls


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Check out these asses...

~Carson

Monday, February 19, 2007

Rubbish

Today I have nothing of significance to report (some feel I never do). That won't stop me from posting some images to stir a laugh or two. Enjoy...




I have no idea who this guy is, but he's alright with me.

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"What the Kruk?" Moment II

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~Carson

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Appetite For Destruction

Welcome to the jungle, We got fun 'n' games, We got everything you want, Honey we know the names, We are the people that can find, Whatever you may need, If you got the money honey, We got your disease. In the jungle, Welcome to the jungle, Watch it bring you to your shun n,n,n,n,n knees, knees. I wanna watch you bleed!

Our buddy Pat Burrell has decided to settle down, or so he tells the media. Yep, the pimp, the playa, the icon has decided womanizing and partying to the wee hours of the morning aren't for him anymore and supposedly has become engaged. He went from the Paradise City "Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty...take me home!" Axl Rose to the November Rain "So if you want to love me, then darlin' don't refrain, Or I'll just end up walkin',In the cold November rain." Axl Rose. Welcome to the ball-and-chain Pat, it's not all that bad actually.

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Earlier in the week I paid a well-deserved homage to Steve Jeltz. Well, I believe John Kruk deserves one too. Therefore, I will be doing random- "What the Kruk?" moments here on WSBGM's that are nothing more than a candid picture of our beer-guzzlin', mulleted, bearded, gut thumpin' hero.

"What the Kruk?" Moment I

Krukker may only have one nut, but that nut is...

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The WSBGM's Phantasy League is officially under way with 16 participants. I know I've changed my name more than Prince or have more alias than Jennifer Garner, but I'm adding another feather to my hat- Commissioner Carson, which is just another in the long list I've had on here in less than a year's span (GM-Carson, Oracle Carson, Drama Queen, and just Carson).

By the way, Corey is part German, so that GM logo is in honor of his heritage.

~Carson