Mike Zagurski fits the mold of chubby ratty-haired frat boy, his body actually resembles a beer keg. The hefty-lefty burst on to the scene when the Phils were in dire straights for relief help, and badda-bing badda-boom, Fat Mike came in and rocked the house and quickly gained fame. Mike zig-zagged his way through the competition for 2 games without surrendering a run, so naturally the pitching-starved Phils fans were ready to crown him the new jewel of the bullpen. This reminds me of parties in college where we'd be stoked to have a keg of beer all frothy and chilled. We'd start off guns blazing gulping down as much of the brew as we could, but by the end of the night the beer was getting warm and flat and many party-goers had already passed out and puked...much like what happened to Zagurski after those first 2 appearances. MLB hitters proved to be too much for Mike and he ended his rookie campaign all sh*t-faced with a 5.91 era and injured. Fear not though, there's a lesson to be learned- beer is good and evil...pace yourself so you can stick around and enjoy the party; Mike Zagurski will be back to help the 'pen some day.