Thursday, December 13, 2007

I Still Think He Did It...

The Mitchell Report came out yesterday, listing the names of many players associated with performance enhancing drugs. Some names were shocking in their inclusion, others were not. A big shock to me was that ex-Phillie No-Hit Nunez was not on the report, even though he was listed on the horribly inaccurate list that came out hours before the real one. Even still, we all know Nunez was on the juice. I mean, c'mon, you can't hit .234 without a single homerun and be clean. It's impossible. And even if you're not a numbers guy, you can't ignore the picture evidence. Just look below at 'roided-up Philly No-Hit compared to pre-roid Bucco No-Hit.

Even though I'm infatuated with the whole thing, I won't spend much time talking about it. I do want to hit some key points though.

1) Todd Pratt - Tankhead's inclusion in this report is heartbreaking. It could explain his outbursts of anger and general moodiness, though.

2) Roger Clemens - I always knew this guy took it in the butt (I'm referring to drug injections, of course), now we have written details of it. His section of the report is a good read. Juicy (pun intended). Of course, he's denying it, no positive test, etc. Well, Marion Jones and Barry Bonds didn't have a positive test either. To late, Roid-Rocket.

3) Hall of Fame - Very interesting discussions come voting time. Lots of people were quick to rule out McGwire, who didn't make it despite more than qualified credentials. Will they do the same for The Rocket? Or is he too much of a Big Apple White Golden Boy that carries enough rep and clout to overcome this? Veeeery interesting, to say the least.

4) Jose Canseco - Dude gets ripped constantly, only because people are scared to admit he's right. It's easier to kill the messenger than deal with the reality.


5) Paul LoDuca - Pedophile. Gamblaholic. Loser-bitch. And now, Roid-junkie. Congrats, LoDoucha.


6) Geography - Message to 'roid users: move to the mid-west. Where are the users from the Illinois, Missouri, Texas, Minne-sconsin (c'mon, can you tell them apart?) teams? I know this is just proof that the report is as far from " all inclusive" as Kirstie Alley is "skinny", but mid-west living may have benefits other than cheaper corn.


7) Lenny Dykstra - The only name on the list that I don't believe did any drugs...


8) Phillies, Red Sox- Compared to the other major east and west coast teams (NYM, NYY, LA Dodgers, LA Angels, Bal), the Phils and Sox came out looking pretty good.


9) Players Union - They are now going to try to convince everybody that this is all circumstantial and that the steroid problem isn't that bad. Stay classy, Donnie Fehr.


Corey

14 comments:

GM-Carson said...

Here's the official list of Phormer Phillies on the Mitchell Report- Jeremy Giambi (2002), Benito Santiago (1996), Bobby Estallela (1996-99), Lenny Dykstra (1989-96), Jason Grimsley (1989-91), Ryan Franklin (2006), Todd Pratt (1992-94, 2001-05), Gary Bennett (1995-2001), Paul Byrd (1998-2001) and David Bell (2003-06). *Sorry for the bogus report yesterday.

Corey- those pictures of Abe are hilarious, they'll go down as WSBGM's classics. By the way, check out the 'roided No-Hits junk...bulgin'!

michael said...

well we all know a lot of those guys weren't on it when they played here.

furiousBall said...

I had a friend in Atlanta that had a Lenny Dykstra story I always thought was full of crap. He claimed to have gone drinking with him, all night long and carried a briefcase filled with prescription painkillers and had admitted to juicing to him that night. But then another friend about 6 years later in Austin, TX had a different story with Nails involving the same pain pill briefcase. After reading the story about him in the spring training of 93 when he bulked up 20 pounds of muscle in the off season. Reporters asked him how he did it, and he jokingly shushed them.

I loved the way he played the game, but I thought he was a juicer before the 98 home run chase.

SirAlden said...

"It's easier to kill the messenger than deal with the reality."

Wise man that Corey....

BenJah said...

i'm pissed there are only 77 names in the report. i mean, there are something like 800 major leaguers ever year, and the report supposedly covered a 10-15 year span. bullshit

where the hell is brett boone on that list??

michael said...

Nails almost ran over my grandfather at spring training in 94. he had to jump out of the way of his car and my grandfather doesn't move very well due to a messed up leg from an auto accident. my grandmother was pissed and starting yelling at Lenny's car, he didn't stop he just kept driving. to this day my grandmother still thinks he's an asshole. my grandfather thinks its just a funny story.

BenJah said...

over 20 yankees and only brendan donnelly and gagne from the red sox??

from a guy who works for the red sox??

bullshit

SirAlden said...

So if Barry Bonds, hits a HomeRun off Roger Clemens, and the Commissioner knows all about it.

Isn't that HomeRun Equal now?

GM-Carson said...

Before all this Hall-of-Fame bullshit goes too far, here's how I think everyone needs to look at it- all #'s are equal, everyone was on the juice...because there is no real way of telling which homeruns of k's were legit and which were drug-performed.

GM-Carson said...

Phils are interested in Akinori Otsuka. If healthy he'd really help the 'pen.

I'm really starting to think the Phils may ink Kris Benson.

Supposedly they have no interest in Morgan Ensberg...that's unfortunate.

Phils are interested in Mark Prior though.

GreggyD said...

Morgan Ensberg has had a couple of rough seasons, but I remember how highly touted he once was and think he could help this team a lot. Thirdbase is still my personal number one priority. Prior is near the top of my wishlist.

GM-Carson said...

Thirdbase is my favorite position on the baseball diamond, thanks largely in-part to Sir Michael Jack Schmidt. I also like Hollins and Rolen (before he became a whiny bitch), but then came David Fairy-Feet Bell and No-Hit Nunez...so needless to say upgrading 3rd is a priority of mine as well.

Bob D said...

Jenkins may be near choosing between Phils and Padres.

Benson will throw next week for teams.

Otsuka and Prior would be good pick ups.

GM-Carson said...

If we get Jenkins, that's a great pick up because he is the perfect platoon partner for Werth